Pink Fluffy Pencil Case
by CrystalBrooke
Summary: AH. No one talks to Edward Cullen. He's the weird emo kid with the sexy hair and black skinny jeans. He denies he wears guyliner, but he totally does. Bella is the new girl, and doesn't get why he hates her. Never judge a person by their pencil case...
1. The Pencil Case Incident

LOL. Enjoy this one, it's gunna be fun. Hey Jen and Eimear!!! Lol x x x

Pink Fluffy Pencil Case

**Chapter One: The Pencil Case Incident**

To say I was nervous was the understatement of the century.

I was_ shaking_. How pathetic. It was so stupid that I should be so terrified of something as simple and ordinary as starting a new school, but I was. I was going to be in the centre of attention today, which was the last thing I wanted. Staring eyes, whispering voices, gossip, scrutiny, judgements. I didn't want any of it. I just wanted to become invisible, like I had been at my last school. I had been so invisible there, I don't even think my teachers knew I was there half the time.

But it was Forks, and trying to be invisible in Forks was impossible. Everyone knew everyone, everyone knew who everyone was related to, where they worked, who they were going out with, everything. The people of Forks always reminded me of an old lady with her nose stuck out of her Venetian blinds, spying on the neighbours.

They all knew I was the chief of police's daughter, they all knew I started school today, and I would have bet my left arm they had a vague idea of what I looked like, from hearing other people describe me.

Not that I looked like much. Brown hair, brown eyes, pale skin, reasonably slim. I was just ordinary, nothing much special about me. They would all be disappointed when they saw me in the flesh.

Gah, no. I was freaking myself out. It was bad enough trying to summon up the courage to get out of the truck and go into reception, without also trying to imagine what everyone already thought of me. Maybe they would take one look and look away again, unimpressed, and I could fade into the wallpaper. I felt a curious mix of relief and sadness at that thought.

I took a deep breath. I couldn't sit here all day. Someone would wonder what I was up to. I gritted my teeth and jumped out of the truck, grabbing my bag. Just get through it, Bella. Just hold your head high like you don't care what they are saying or thinking, and in a few hours you can go home and forget for a few hours.

_And then do it all again the next day_, I thought sombrely.

I went into reception, my heart beating way too fast, trying to look like I knew where I was going and what I was doing. I was given my timetable and a map, and I took a few deep breaths. You can do this, I told myself. It's just school. You will more than likely never see the majority of these people again after this. That thought comforted me somewhat.

I had my nose stuck in the map, trying to work out where I was going and quickly, when I crashed into someone. Clumsy Bella, strikes again.

"Oh, God, sorry," I exclaimed, looking up to see which unfortunate soul I had almost knocked over.

"Oh, that's OK," a short girl with spiky black hair and a friendly expression grinned at me. "I wasn't looking where I was going either."

I smiled at her, and was about to walk on when she stopped me.

"You're Isabella Swan, aren't you?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, my heart sinking a little. "Call me Bella, though."

"I'm Alice," she said, and her enthusiasm and genuine interest was making me smile. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad if all people were like her.

"Nice to meet you," I said shyly.

"Same here," she beamed. "How are you getting on so far?"

"Well, I'm lost… and a little terrified," I admitted, and Alice laughed.

"It gets better," she told me. "I only moved here last year myself."

"When does it get better?" I asked hopefully.

"Soon," she grinned. "Do you want to sit with me at lunch?" she asked suddenly, her eyes lighting up. "You can meet my friends - you'll fit right in, I promise! Oh, please…?"

"OK," I said gratefully, laughing at her eager expression. I was in no position to pass up the chance of making some friends, and I really liked Alice. "Thanks."

"No probs. Now, do you know where you're going?"

"I have no idea."

Alice shook her head, but pointed me in the right direction.

"You'll be fine," she said. "I'll see you later!"

I smiled as she bounded away, and headed for English, feeling a lot more confident than earlier.

I was subjected to a lot of stares, as I expected, but thankfully the people were pretty friendly. I did have to answer the same questions over and over again, but it didn't get too wearing. I was surviving through the day.

That was, until Biology.

I walked into the lab, and received the stares I had already gotten used to. I introduced myself to the teacher, who thankfully didn't make a fuss of me for too long, and pointed me to the only empty seat.

I glanced at the guy I would be sitting next to, and I nearly fell over my own feet.

Talk about sexy.

His hair was bronze and hanging in his face, almost hiding his eyes. He was wearing a black Bullet For My Valentine hoodie, and as I sat down next to him, I noted skinny black jeans and black Converse trainers. Emo guys weren't usually my type, but this one was just gorgeous. He glanced at me briefly, and I caught a glimpse of jade green eyes, before he looked away again.

He ignored me, mostly. I tried to pay attention in the class, but my mind kept wandering. I wondered if he had a girlfriend. Maybe he only dated other emo girls, but what the hell do I know? I could just be stereotyping. I found myself wishing I hadn't put on my purple hoodie this morning. Maybe it was crazy… but this was the only guy I had seen so far that I would actually put time and effort into drooling over.

I was snapped out of my daydreams by a collective flurry throughout the classroom - people were writing stuff down. I reached into my bag to pull out paper, and my pencil case. It was stupid and embarrassing and pink and fluffy and had the word PRINCESS emblazoned on the side of it, but it had been a present from my mother, and I hadn't had time to buy another one before I started school. I was just going to have to put up with it for a while.

I put it on the table, and the guy next to me snorted quietly. I looked at him curiously. He was staring at the pencil case sceptically, and then he _glared_ at me. My heart jumped when our eyes locked, but he just threw me a derisive look, and turned away.

I glanced down at the table, feeling a bit hurt. He didn't even know me. If he thought I was some Barbie, some spoilt princess who actually liked pink and fluffy things, then he was dead wrong, and shouldn't make assumptions.

But then again, I couldn't talk. I had already made assumptions about him.

Still, it got to me. I spent the rest of the lesson feeling humiliated. I couldn't have been more delighted when the bell rang. I headed to the cafeteria, telling myself that I could go home soon and put this ordeal behind me for a few hours. I walked through the double doors, looking around at the tables uncertainly. People were still staring.

"Bella! Over here!" I turned to see Alice waving at me, and I smiled, relieved. I slowly approached the table, slightly intimidated by the two guys and the girl she was sitting with. I sat in the empty seat next to her. "How's your day been so far?" she grinned, bouncing up and down excitedly in her seat.

"Super," I said dryly, and she laughed.

"It does get better, I promise," she said. "Anyway, introductions! Bella, this is my boyfriend Jasper…" a gorgeous blond guy waved at me from the other side of Alice.

"Hi," I said, my face burning.

"That's Rosalie, his twin sister…"

I received a disinterested stare from an equally gorgeous blonde girl opposite Jasper, and I just nodded back.

"And I'm Emmett," the other guy boomed, before Alice could get a chance to say anything.

"Hey," I greeted, guessing by the way his gigantic arm was draped around the back of Rosalie's chair that they were going out.

Oh, _please_ do not tell me that I just sat at the Couples-R-Us table.

"Yeah, that's Emmett, Rosalie's boyfriend," Alice said, explaining to me what I already knew. "Don't worry about Rosalie," she added in a low voice. "She'll warm up to you eventually, she's always like this with new people."

"Oh," I said, not reassured at all.

I was distracted suddenly by the guy from my biology class shuffling into the cafeteria, in his lovely tight skinny black jeans. It stuck me again how gorgeous he was.

But then his eyes locked onto mine suddenly, and he took one look at me sitting with Alice, and wheeled around and walked straight back out again.

Tears stung my eyes. What the hell had _I_ done?

"God, he's so moody," Alice muttered.

"Who is?" I asked, trying to shake off the ridiculous hurt I was feeling.

"Edward."

"Who's Edward?"

"The guy with the emo haircut, the one who came in and just walked back out. I'm sure he's in your Biology class," Alice said, scrunching up her nose thoughtfully.

"I sit next to him," I said weakly. "You know him?"

"He's my brother."

"You're kidding," I said, after a shocked pause. "How can you two be related? No offence," I added hastily, but Alice just smiled.

"None taken. Believe me, I have no idea how I ended up related to that freakazoid. But just ignore him. He's always sulking and glaring - Mom thinks he's going through a phase." Alice rolled her eyes. "Oh, and don't be surprised if you're randomly lectured by him one day - he's really opinionated when he gets going."

"OK," I choked out, and I sounded as freaked as I felt.

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	2. Clearly This Isn't The Bathroom

**Ok, so I was SHOCKED by the reviews - thanks so much! They seriously rocked, like. Shout outs to Dee and Niamh and Sarah for reviewing (aw shucks) and to JEN (wuv wu lol) and Eimear (FIX YOUR INTERNET)!! Enjoy x x x x :D**

**Chapter Two: Clearly This Isn****'****t The Bathroom**

Alice invited me back to her house after school, and I agreed for three reasons. One, because Charlie, my dad, wouldn't be home until late and I would be just bored until then. Two, because I did want to be friends with Alice, and I was pleasantly surprised someone was even bothering to make an effort with me this early on. And three, even though it was crazy, I wanted to see Edward again.

There was something about him that just intrigued me.

I was nervous, of course, when Alice walked me to her car (I was planning on picking my truck up later). Edward was waiting by their car, leaning against the boot, listening to his iPod. He looked up at us when we approached, and he actually rolled his eyes at me.

It pissed me off. I did absolutely nothing to offend him, but he obviously had some sort of problem with me, and I was dying to have it out with him. Too bad I didn't have the guts.

He got into the back seat and I sat up the front with Alice. He ignored us both the whole way home, and I tried to ignore him as successfully as he was ignoring me. I chatted with Alice easily, unable to help fidgeting.

Alice and Edward lived in a massive house just outside of town, at the end of a seemingly never-ending drive. The minute Alice had parked the car, Edward climbed out and stormed straight into the house. I grumbled to myself as I watched him go - there was also something about him that made me want to hit him.

"Your house is really amazing," I told Alice, as we headed up the front steps.

"Thanks," she beamed. "My mother is really into interior design and stuff - wait until you see the inside."

True enough, the interior was stunning. I felt so out of place, but Alice made me feel at home pretty quickly.

"Come on and see my room," she squealed, and practically dragged me up the stairs. I took one look at her room, which was pink and girly and had cushions everywhere, and I shook my head. How _she_ could be related to _Edward_ was a mystery.

"Cute," I commented, and she laughed.

"Thanks. It's totally me. I never really grew out of that pink and girly phase," she said, turning on the radio. I sat down on a cushion-covered beanbag, looking around. "So Bella," she said, sitting cross-legged on her bed and grinning at me. "Have you seen any guys in school that you think are cute yet? Because I could totally set things up! You just can't have Jasper, obviously," she grinned, putting her hand over her heart, "or Emmett, 'cause Rosalie would tear your head off…"

"No, no," I said, shaking my head, smiling. "They're both good-looking, but not my type."

_My type appears to be a gorgeous emo boy with an attitude problem, aka your brother._

"Who would be your type, then?"

"Eh…"

A distraction arrived in the form of Edward storming into the room, with which I was grateful for about one second, until my mind went totally blank. Had anybody ever told him those jeans were too tight? Maybe someone should tell him? _No_, I told myself, dazedly. That would be a crime… let him wear the jeans…

"Have you seen my hair gel?" he demanded of Alice, folding his arms. I realised with a shock, that it was the first time I had heard him speak, and he had a smooth and velvety voice. Damn. I was expecting some sort of growl, but he sounded like he had just drunk of bowl of chocolate. Why, oh _why_, did I find this jerk so _hot_?

"Nope," Alice shook her head. "Oh, and by the way, I want my black eyeliner back."

He glared at her. "I do not wear eyeliner," he huffed, and stormed out of the room.

Alice looked at me and we both giggled.

"He so does," Alice said. "He just won't admit it."

So he wears makeup. That, and the fact that he was the Biggest Jerk Ever, was _still_ not enough to put me off him. I was an idiot.

"Where's your bathroom?" I asked, feeling the need to splash water on my face and snap me out of these thoughts.

Alice gave me directions, and I set off down the spacious, long hallway, trying to remember that it was the fourth door on the left. I peered into each room anxiously as I passed them, admiring the beautiful décor at the same time. Then I stopped.

A door was left ajar, and the room inside it was nothing like the elegance and sophistication of the rest of the house. Posters of heavy metal bands adorned the walls. The bedcovers were dark grey and strewn around untidily. There was a black electric guitar leaning against the wall, and a pile of multi-coloured Converse on the floor.

Edward's room.

"What are you doing?"

I nearly had a heart attack, and whipped around to see the guy himself shuffling up the hall towards me.

"Oh! Er, well, I need the bathroom," I stuttered.

Oh, well done, self. He doesn't need a bladder newsflash, for God's sake.

"Well, clearly that's not it," he said condescendingly, and brushed past me into his room.

"Yeah. Sorry," I mumbled, trying to ignore the way my skin was tingling from the almost-contact. I stumbled away and finally located the bathroom, and considered drowning myself. When I passed the door again on the way back to Alice's room, it was closed.

Alice looked up when I re-entered her room. "Wanna watch a film?" she asked.

"Sure," I shrugged.

"Horror or teenage rom-com?"

"Horror," I said immediately. I was _so_ not in the mood for a bloody romantic comedy.

"Cool," Alice said, and we spent a few minutes deciding on which one to watch. "We'll watch it in the living room."

I followed her down the stairs into yet another beautifully decorated room, and took a seat on the couch. I tucked my legs up under me as Alice fiddled with the DVD player.

"Where are you going?" I asked her, as she suddenly started skipping out of the room.

"Oh, I'm just gonna ask Edward if he wants to watch it with us," Alice trilled. "I know he likes this film."

I swallowed nervously as she left the room. That may be true, but for some reason he had taken against me, and I highly doubted he was going to join us.

So imagine my surprise when he shuffled into the room after Alice a few minutes later.

I tried not to look at his gorgeous, moody face, or the jeans… I stared straight ahead of me, at the TV screen, and watched Alice press play.

I fidgeted the entire way through the movie, a combination of the tension emanating from the film, and the fact that Jerk Boy was sitting only a few feet away from me. I managed not to look at him for a whole hour, and was priding myself.

But before I could catch myself, I had glanced over at him. My eyes locked with his for the shortest second before he looked away quickly again, and my heart did a funny jump when I realised that he had been staring at me. I didn't know what to make of it.

I didn't dare glance at him again.

The movie was almost finished when a glamorous brunette stuck her head in the door.

"Dinner's almost ready, guys," she announced, and smiled warmly at me. "Hello, dear, I'm Esme."

"I'm Bella," I said shyly.

"I know," she grinned. "The whole town's been talking about your arrival for a while now."

I rolled my eyes, and she laughed, and left the room.

The moment the end credits rolled, Edward was out of his seat and out of the room. Alice got up and skipped into the kitchen, and I followed her, feeling awkward. I was hit by an appetising smell, and breathed it in, my stomach growling.

"Bells, grab some glasses out of that cupboard, will you?" Alice asked, pointing, collecting plates from a shelf. I wasn't sure how many to get, so I just pulled six out, but in typical Bella fashion I managed to drop one, and it shattered on the ground.

"Oh, shoot!" I muttered, and immediately started picking up shards of glass. "Sorry, Alice…"

"Oh no," she said sadly. "That was Edward's favourite glass."

"Oh God," I said, mortified. Great. Now he had another reason to hate me.

"I'm just teasing you," Alice giggled, arriving with a dustpan and brush and proceeded to sweep up the remaining glass. I rolled my eyes at her, and she shook her head. "You like my brother," she accused, her eyes twinkling.

"I do _not_," I protested vehemently. "He glares at me for no reason and he's judgemental and moody."

"Don't forget handsome," added a familiar velvety voice.

I turned my head slowly, my eyes closed in horror, and opened them to see Edward glaring at me from the doorway. He shuffled in and smiled sarcastically at me, before grabbing a handful of cutlery and walking back out.

"Oh no," I breathed.

"You do like him," Alice said matter-of-factly. I rolled my eyes again and rounded on her.

"Did you set me up for that?" I hissed.

"No, honest!" Alice said, her eyes wide. "I had no idea he was there."

"He hates me," I sighed.

"He hates everyone. Don't let it bother you."

God seemed to be working against me today, and I founded myself seated next to Jerk Boy at the dinner table. He treated me like an empty seat, blaring his iPod. I could make out a load of guitars and drums, but I couldn't quite discern the band.

Also at the dinner table was Edward and Alice's father, Carlisle. I could totally see where Edward got his good looks from, anyway. Carlisle was warm and friendly and gave me some sort of idea of what Edward would look like if he was chirpy. A chirpy Edward appeared to me as some sort of myth, or legend.

I didn't say much, only speaking to answer Esme's questions on how I found The Big Move and how I was finding school and how I was adjusting, and the usual questions adults want to know the answers to. Alice was animatedly explaining a fashion design course she had come across to Carlisle. It made sense to me, that Alice would pursue something in designing. Clearly she had gotten the skills from her mother.

Esme sighed at Edward suddenly.

"Edward, must you listen to your iPod at the table?" she asked exasperatedly, but Jerk Boy didn't look up. "Edward!" Esme called. "Edward!"

I would have tapped his arm to get his attention, but I was afraid of the glare I would no doubt receive.

"EDWARD!" Esme and Carlisle and Alice all yelled at the same time. He looked up and glared at them all, and slowly pulled one of his earphones out of his ear.

"_What_?"

"_Must_ you listen to your music at the table?" Esme demanded, and he sighed loudly, as though he was being mistreated. He turned the music down, but kept one earphone in his ear. Esme rolled her eyes.

This guy was really impressing me… NOT.

He stayed at the table for about five more minutes, before announcing that he was done, picking up his plate, and leaving.

Esme watched him go, sighing. "I hope Edward hasn't been rude to you," she said to me in a low tone of voice. "He's been going through a phase lately…"

In my peripheral vision I could see Alice rolling her eyes.

"Oh no…" I shook my head. "He's been… nice," I finished lamely.


	3. Is It Some Kind Of Twitch?

**OK, so, I'm still shocked by the reviews - thank you all SO much, they're unreal! Special thanks to darcyM - she rocks, I think. ;) Thanks! Enjoy this chapterrr x x :D**

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**Chapter Three: Is It Some Kind of Twitch?**

_The worst way to miss someone, is to have them sitting right next to you & you know you can never have them. _

I walked into Biology apprehensively the next day.

He was wearing a tight black t-shirt today, and I did everything I could not to look at his muscly arms and hunky broad shoulders. What was with him and his tight clothes?

Well, I certainly wasn't complaining, anyway.

I sat in my seat, and he ignored me, as usual. I wasn't sure how I had managed to turn him against me, but I wished we could have gotten off to a better start. It wasn't fair, sitting next to somebody so gorgeous and mysterious and not having any idea of how to break through to them.

Mr Banner started handing out microscopes, and it wasn't until one was thumped down onto our desk that I realised we were going to have to work in pairs.

Oh, God help me.

"Cullen, Swan, let's get started," Mr Banner ordered.

I turned in Edward's direction, chewing on my lip nervously, and glanced at him in time to see him roll his eyes at the microscope, folding his arms.

Gah. Do not look at the arms.

The last thing I needed was him to catch me staring at him, and have another reason to torment me.

We were given our slides and the sheets we had to write our results on, and everybody in the class was getting started, and I fidgeted, waiting for Edward to say or do something. Nothing happened though, and I was beginning to feel awkward. I looked at him expectantly, and realised he was glaring at me, waiting for _me_ to start.

My face burned.

I set up the microscope with the first slide, thankful that at least I knew how to work it - he wouldn't be able to find any insult or degrading comment in that.

I didn't bother asking him if he wanted to go first - I'd just get glared at. Funny how I was now able to predict him.

I was rusty at this cell division chapter, but I could remember the basics of it.

"I'm sure that's prophase," I muttered, and shoved the microscope at him. I squeaked against the table, and he took his time reaching for it and lifting it over to his side. He glared into the eyepiece.

"That's not _prophase_," he scoffed, shaking his head. He rolled his eyes at me like I was retarded, and pushed the microscope away. My cheeks on fire, I checked with the book and realised my mistake - it was anaphase. I felt stupid and close to tears, and I looked for something to distract myself with. I pulled my pencil case out of my bag, deciding to fill in the results sheet and ignore him. I placed the fluffy abomination on the desk, and caught him rolling his eyes at it. I was sick of him, and plus it was the third time he had rolled his eyes at me, and so I felt brave enough to snap at him.

"Have you got a _problem_?" I demanded. Stupidest question of the decade, I know. "You're rolling your eyes an awful lot. Is it some kind of twitch?"

He glared at me.

"Bite me," he muttered, and raised his eyebrows condescendingly. I swung my hair so that it covered my face, enraged.

Edward Cullen was getting to me, and I hated it.

We both reached for the microscope at the same time, and our hands clashed. He withdrew his like it had been burned, and I tried not to let that hurt me too much, either. God, it wasn't like I was infected. He must really hate me.

He sighed loudly, and grabbed a pen out of his pencil case (plain black, no fluff visible) and tried to write his name on the top of the sheet. No ink was coming out, and he started scribbling on the corner of the page, trying to get the pen to work. The noise began to grate on my already frayed nerves, and I breathed out through my nose, trying to calm myself. Edward emptied the contents of his pencil case onto the table in search of a pen that worked, but there seemed to be nothing in there other than pencil shavings and an empty fountain pen and earphones.

"Do you want to borrow a pen?" I asked tentatively.

"Whatever," he said, and I frowned. Ungrateful jerk. I could just let him sit there like a pen-less wonder, but I was, for some insane reason, helping him out. Go me.

I reached into my pencil case, and to my horror, the first one my fingers pulled out had green fluff on the end of it. I cursed my mother, and asked myself why I hadn't emptied potentially embarrassing items from it before I brought it to school.

Edward snorted. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Oh, shut up," I snapped. "Are you afraid of the fluffy pen or something?"

"I'm afraid of what was going through your mind when you bought it."

"I didn't buy it," I retorted. "My mother did."

"A scarier thought. Another version of you."

I glared at him, shocked and hurt and angry.

"Screw you," I said, and stood up, gathering my stuff quickly and stalking towards the door. I had hoped to leave dramatically, but I tripped over a schoolbag strap near the front of the classroom, and set off a round of sniggers. Mr Banner tried to demand where I thought I was going, but I ignored him, and slammed the classroom door behind me.

I escaped to my truck, where I fumed, and tried not to cry.

What was _with_ him?

Would it _kill_ him to be nice to me, even just a little bit?

What was so _repulsive_ about me?

I unsuccessfully tried to talk myself into going back to class, and I ended up just driving home. I spent the day stomping around in a foul mood, all thanks to Edward.

I couldn't stop thinking about him, which made me angrier.

How could I escape into my stupid daydreams, where he smiled at me and made me laugh and put his arms around me and hugged me and kissed me and treated me like I was worth a damn, when in reality, he was so unfriendly and cold?

There was no point. I wasn't living in my daydreams.

Yet I still had to pull myself away from the idiotic, fantastical perception that had managed to lodge itself in my brain, that maybe this was just a front. That maybe he _did_ like me. Maybe he just… didn't _want_ me.

I knew how it felt, to like someone, but to hate them at the same time.

I would just have to content myself with frustration, because I would probably never find out what was going on inside his mind, and there was no way in hell I was asking him.

He hated me. I didn't know what exactly I had done, but maybe it was just one of those chemistry things. We didn't click. Together, we wouldn't work.

So it was stupid, and pointless, to daydream about us ever being able to function as an entity.

So why couldn't I stop?

The temptation to stay in bed the next day, and not face school or Edward Cullen, was almost overwhelming, but I dragged myself out of bed. I would not let him win, damn it. He had to know he was getting to me, but I refused to let him imagine I was sitting at home crying over him.

I'd go into Biology with my head held high, and completely ignore him.

I arrived at school a little earlier than normal, and I sat down on one of the outdoor benches, taking out my mp3 player. I stuck on Linkin Park, my favourite band, and gazed at nothing while I waited for school to start.

I was jolted out of my trance when someone sat down next to me.

"Hi, Bella," Alice chirped, and I pulled an earphone out of one ear, smiling.

"Hey, Al," I said, and noticed Edward hovering by us in my peripheral vision. I didn't look at him.

"How come you left school yesterday in the middle of class?" Alice demanded, agog. "Everyone was talking about it."

Oh, great. I had set the rumour mill going. Fabulous. Let's have another Everyone Stare At Bella Day.

"I didn't feel well," I lied.

Alice was sceptical, and I shrugged. Thankfully, she let it go, but I knew I would probably get interrogated later.

"Who are you listening to?" she asked, and stole the available earphone, popping it into her own ear.

"Linkin Park," I said, and she scrunched up her face.

"Not you, too," she complained. "Don't tell me you're into all that scream-y music as well."

"I don't mind it," I smiled, shrugging again. I didn't have a particular taste in music. I just listened to whatever I wanted to, and to whatever suited my mood.

"Do you want something, Edward?" Alice asked suddenly, and I was unable to stop myself from looking up at him.

Oh, gunfph.

He looked _gorgeous_. His hair was styled differently; today it was messy and sticking up in various directions. He hadn't lost the Converse or the nice, tight, skinny black jeans, but he was wearing a white shirt with a black and red tie, and the shirt was clinging to the muscles of his arms and _oh_…

What was he _doing_ to me? He was freaking _killing_ me.

He was staring at both of us with his arms folded, a peculiar expression on his face. He looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he just shook his head and shuffled away.

"He's been in a weird mood since yesterday," Alice frowned, gazing after him, while I tried to recover. "Weirder than usual, I mean. He came into my room yesterday and I'm sure he was trying to ask me about girls."

"Are you serious?" I asked incredulously. What the hell did that mean, then?

"Yeah, he was all like 'you know the way you're a girl?' and I was like 'yes…' - _worried for his sanity_, I might add - and he goes 'well, what are you thinking?' and I said 'I'm thinking that you're acting like a freakazoid again' and he just glared at me and muttered 'forget it' and stormed away. It was only after I thought about it that I realised he was probably trying to ask me to summarise the female species for him." She laughed. "My brother, the weirdo… ooh, come on, we'll be late for class!"

I stood up unsteadily and tried to refocus. Edward was trying to ask about girls? Why? Could this be something to do with me?

I wondered if he felt guilty over being such a jerk yesterday. He should. Arrogant, moody, gorgeous emo…

To my annoyance, I spent the most of the day trying to figure him out, with little success. It bugged me that he was always on my mind, never far away from my thoughts, and yet there was _nothing_…_we_ were nothing. Not friends. Not enemies. Just… nothing.

Heading for Biology, I was a nervous wreck. I walked into the classroom, trying to carry off an unconcerned air about me, but I probably just looked like someone who got caught doing something naughty. Mr Banner was a little disapproving, but bought my lies and didn't punish me, thankfully.

I approached my seat slowly, my eyes trained purposely on the ground, refusing to let them wander anywhere near Jerk Boy.

I sat down, and he cleared his throat. I ignored him, and he did it again. I very badly wanted to look at him, and see if he was wearing eyeliner today and marvel at his perfect bone structure and admire the tight shirt and the tight jeans and watch his lips move as he spoke and get lost in his jade green eyes… but I ignored him, because I was nothing to him, after all. We had nothing.

He cleared his throat again, loudly, and I gave in.

I hoped I wouldn't always give in when it came to him.

"Do you need something for your throat, Edward?" I asked, pretending to watch Mr Banner giving out to a student who lost their book. I wouldn't look at him. I couldn't speak to him and look at him at the same time; it would just be too much.

"No," he scoffed, and I freaking looked at him… and he was glaring at me, like I knew he would be. Surprise, surprise.

I was useless. I couldn't stop thinking about him, and now I couldn't ignore him either. I was pathetic.

"Look, Bella," he began, and a tingle shot down my spine at the sound of my name spoken in his velvety, chocolaty voice - that was the first time I had ever heard him say my name. I wanted everyone to say my name the way he said it.

Belll-ahh. That's me from now on.

Gah. I think I like him too much. I shouldn't. I can't.

"I'm sorry… about yesterday," he said, glaring at a spot on the table now. "I didn't mean… what I said. I was… rude," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Huh," I said, not entirely satisfied. He shouldn't have bothered apologising if it was so obviously causing him trouble. He was _rude_? There was an understatement for you.

"I'm trying to say sorry, alright?" he snapped, in an insolent tone, and he was glaring at me again.

"You're doing a terrific job," I sneered. "I'm believing that you mean it and everything."

"Oh, forget it," he said, looking away.

"I already have," I mumbled, folding my arms on the desk and resting my chin on top of them. I wanted to storm out again, and just get _away_ from his gorgeousness that clogged up my mind, and _away_ from the things he said, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

We didn't speak again. The class began, and I half-listened to the teacher, whilst running over Edward's previous words in my head, analysing them and trying to analyse him. He was the hardest person ever to read, and I just didn't get him. My head hurt from trying to figure him out.

At the end of class, Edward just randomly attacked me.

"By the way, if you think listening to the same bands I like is going to make me like you, you're wrong," he said, shoving his books unceremoniously into his bag.

I turned to face him, blinking rapidly. "What the _hell_?" I spluttered, outraged. Where the hell had _that_ come from, and what was that supposed to mean?

"I'm just saying," he shrugged, slinging the black schoolbag onto his right shoulder. He tried to walk past me, but I blocked him, fuming.

"For your information, Linkin Park have been my favourite band for about six years now. I have all their albums. I've been to three of their concerts. I have posters of them in my room. So go to hell. And believe me, the fact that you don't like me does not keep me up at night. If you think I'm going to bother changing who I am just so you'll like me, you're totally _insane_," I ranted, pronouncing the last word slowly. He had glared at me for the duration of my tirade, and his eyes narrowed when I finally shut up.

I swirled around so that my hair hit him in the face, and satisfied that I had sufficiently gotten my point across, I made to walk away.

That was, until I stumbled over my own feet and fell backwards into him.

His arms caught me before I could impair him too badly, and they steadied me. I regained my balance, his touch burning my skin, my face ablaze and probably hot enough to fry eggs on.

"Thanks," I breathed, too afraid to turn around. First I yelled at him, then I whipped him in the face with my hair, and then I fell on him.

Mental note to self: Don't. Do. Anything. Ever.

"OK," he said, his voice very close to my left ear. My heart began racing, and I took a deep, quiet breath, trying to calm down.

"But it doesn't change anything," he added, and I frowned.

"What does _that_ mean?" I demanded, turning around to face him. "You stopped me from falling over. Why would that _change_ something? God, there's no something for nothing with you, is there Edward?"

He was so damn confusing.

"You know what, fine," he said, rolling his eyes. "Next time, I'll let you fall and break your ass."

"Great. Wonderful. Thanks a lot," I said.

Then I walked away.


	4. To Kill Or To Kiss, That Is The Question

**Grr, this chapter did not want to be written. I think I over-thought it too much, and grr, it drove me barmy. But it's done! So yay! THANK YOU for the reviews - I'm still in SHOCK. They're all so appreciated, thank ye! Right, and I'm being FORCED to mention Jen again (haha, messing) - I hope you managed to "peel your eyes open", lol. Enjoy babysitting (AHAHAHA). And thank you for helping with Edward's outfit... we dress Edward. It's lots of fun. ANYWAY, moving along! Enjoy! x x x **

* * *

**Chapter Four: To Kill Or To Kiss, That Is The Question**

_Men are like roses. Watch out for the pricks._

I lay on my bed, glaring at the ceiling.

He. Was. Driving. Me. Crazy.

I wanted to kill him.

I wanted to kiss him.

As much as I shouldn't, and as pointless as it was, I liked him. A lot, clearly. He was bringing out a whole new Bella, one who whipped people in the face with her hair, apparently.

I had wanted to be invisible. I had wanted to start this new school with as little attention and fuss as I could, and eventually become the wallflower I was so used to being.

But now I wanted flashing neon clothes and a big sign on my forehead saying 'LOOK AT ME'.

I wanted him to notice me.

I wanted him to be interested in me.

But the problem was, he just brought out the _worst_ in me; the sarcasm, the eye-rolling, the glaring, the stupid and random stuff that he said, and even the way he insisted on dragging his feet when he walked… they all irritated me so much.

I didn't know who this Bella was, the one who yelled at people she barely knew, and the one who was so absolutely crazy over a guy, even though he was driving her bananas.

Jerk Boy. That was my own private name for him. It helped me deal with the sour taste in my mouth over the fact that he clearly hated me for no real reason. It was easier to call him names than to admit to myself that I liked him all the time.

I sighed at the ceiling. The room was semi-dark, and I couldn't be bothered getting up to turn on a light. I had homework to do, but I couldn't be bothered with that, either.

I just lay there, and thought about Edward Cullen, until it hurt.

* * *

Oh, this was ridiculous.

My mother didn't bring me up the way she did only for me to act eight kinds of stupid over a boy.

She lectured me on the right guy. I wasn't to fall for the first one, or the second one, but the right one. He had to respect me. He had to treat me good. He had to be everything I wanted.

I wasn't falling for Edward. None of the above applied to him. He was just the emo guy I sat next to in Biology, who was for some reason occupying my mind.

I did like him. I hated saying that, but I did.

He was sexy when he was moody. He was like a rock god… the hair, the eyes, the jeans…

But he was arrogant and mean and horrible and grouchy and probably high maintenance… and he wore makeup, for heaven's sake.

Alice's makeup, to be more precise.

And he hated me and insulted me and ignored me, and shouldn't be worth my time. I should ignore him too. I should just not think about him. I should maybe even dislike him.

But I couldn't.

I wanted him to hold me and kiss me and smile at me.

And _ugh_, I hated feeling like this, because nothing was _ever_ going to _change_. We had _nothing_.

We had no start, no beginning. Without that, there could never be a happy ending.

"Bells?"

I was glad to be jerked out of my depressing thoughts. It was beginning to hurt again.

"Yeah, Dad?" I mumbled, and light flooded the room as he opened the door.

"Why are you lying in the dark?"

"No reason," I said, shrugging.

"OK. Er, well, are you alright?"

I felt guilty. I hadn't really been spending that much time with Charlie since I got here. Everything was so new and different and I was kind of stressed trying to get used to it all. But that was no excuse at all.

Plus I had kind of been moping lately, and Charlie had never been really good at the whole let's-discuss-our-feelings thing.

"I'm fine," I said, making an effort to sound cheerful. "I'm just a little tired."

"OK," he said, and hesitated. I waited, but he didn't say anything else, and closed the door on his way out.

The darkness blinded me, and I wondered when everything had gotten so complicated. I fully expected to live in a monotonous routine of school and study and housework and Charlie, looking forward to college and my future. And now, everything was weird.

I wanted what I couldn't have.

I wanted the monotony.

I wanted to be invisible.

I wanted to stop thinking about him.

I wanted him.

I was confused, and irritated, and hormonal, and irrational, and I honestly had no idea how I had managed to get here.

I needed to get the hell out of this headspace. I was driving myself crazy.

And I blamed Edward, because he was the one I was crazy about.

* * *

"Dudes!" Emmett announced at lunch the next day. "I am having a party. And you're all going."

My heart sank. I was so not the partying type.

But judging by the way Alice lit up, I was probably going to get dragged there one way or another.

I could definitely consider Alice a friend, now, even though I had only really known her for barely a week. She was just the type of person who could be friends with anybody, who fitted in with any group of people. She was easy to be around.

Other people talked to me, but I couldn't exactly say I was the most popular person ever. The curiosity had died down, and the stares were less and less frequent. I was grateful for this, of course, but I was also grateful for the fact that I had Alice… I didn't want to feel completely alone, and I didn't.

I hadn't gotten to know her friends that well; Jasper was quiet and kept to himself mostly, and he and Alice were a really cute couple. Rosalie didn't speak to me, and I was too intimidated by her to go near her. I was slightly scared of Emmett, as he was a little much at times, but he was OK.

I did still feel a little out of place, surrounded by faces I was yet to recognise. But it was getting better, slowly. I knew it would take time before I could actually consider this town to be my home; everything was still so new.

Alice, unsurprisingly, caught up with me before class at the end of lunch.

"So, are you going to the party?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know," I said. "Partying isn't really my thing…"

Alice feigned a scandalised expression. "Partying is everybody's thing. Come on, Bella, you'll have a great time," she wheedled. "Emmett's parties are always legendary, and plus, I think you need a night out. Badly."

I didn't ask her what she meant; I was afraid of the answer.

"Fine," I sighed, giving in.

"Yay," she said, chirpy now that she had gotten her way. Chirpi_er_, I mean. "Do you know what you're wearing yet, have you decided?"

"Clothes?" I suggested.

Ha ha. There was nothing in my wardrobe I could wear to a party. Good one, Alice.

She rolled her eyes impatiently. "Bella."

"Alice, my wardrobe consists of hoodies and jeans."

"Well, that won't do. You can borrow something of mine! We'll get ready together at my house, and I'll get Rosalie to come over too - it'll be fun!"

I smiled and nodded, secretly dreading the look on Rosalie's face when Alice mentioned this to her. Rosalie did not like me very much. I didn't understand why, but to be honest, I wasn't bothered. I couldn't please everybody.

It was just a pity I didn't have the same attitude towards Edward.

"Fine," I said, agreeing to Alice's insane plan to no doubt Barbie me up for the night.

"Good," Alice said, satisfied.

Saturday arrived much too quickly for my liking, and before I knew it, I was at Alice's house, sitting in front of a mirror, while she ripped chunks out of my skin with a tweezers. Rosalie, as I had expected, was not there.

"Hold still, would you -" Alice demanded.

"Maybe I would if you weren't torturing me, you sadist," I retorted, my eyes watering with considerable pain. This was ridiculous. My eyebrows were not that bad.

"Well, maybe this wouldn't be as painful if you weren't growing a national forest on your forehead," Alice huffed.

"Shut up," I scowled.

"Make me."

I poked her in the sides, and she jumped, squealing.

"I have tickles there, stop! Unless you seriously _want_ to look permanently surprised, I would advise you to stop!"

I laughed, and behaved, wincing as she pulled repeatedly at my skin.

"There!" Alice sang, to my relief, a short time later. "Perfection. I am so good…"

"The best," I said, examining my face in the mirror. I honestly couldn't see much a difference, but arguing with Alice was totally futile.

"Now for your makeup…"

"Alice…?" I asked, terrified, to be honest. "Please don't cover me with pink glitter, will you?"

"Give me a little credit," Alice scoffed. "Pink glitter would not suit your complexion, and anyway, you can't wear pink glitter with that dress - you'd look a fright!"

I looked down at my outfit. I had doubted Alice's ability to find me anything in her wardrobe that a) fitted me and b) suited me. I wasn't really the kind of girl who liked skirts and dresses.

But I had been pleasantly surprised. My dress was quite simple - black, halter neck, the hemline stopping just above my knees, a large, purple silk bow tied delicately around my waist. It was gorgeous. Alice had lent me purple heels too, which I really was not sure about - I couldn't even walk in my trainers.

I stayed perfectly still while Alice worked her magic, feeling the beginning of nerves. I had no idea if Edward was going to the party or not - nobody had mentioned anything - and I was planning various ways in which I could get him to see me in this outfit. If I looked my best tonight, of course I wanted to show that off.

I hated feeling ugly and plain next to him, when he was so obviously a gorgeous emo God. If I saw him at all tonight, it might be nice to feel like I was good enough for him, for once.

He had made it abundantly clear to me that he didn't think I was good enough for him, already.

"OK, you are officially ready to go," Alice said, and I opened my eyes.

"Thank God," I muttered, and examined my reflection. Huh. I looked so different with makeup on. My skin had a soft glow to it, and my eyelids were purple and black, the colours blending together nicely to give me a mysterious, smoky-eyed look.

"Huh," I said aloud.

"You're welcome," Alice said smugly. "Now, just give me ten minutes and then we can leave."

I practised walking in the shoes while I waited, following a route around her bedroom, changing up my pace. I did wobble a few times, but maybe if I tried positive thinking, I could stay upright.

I will not fall down. I will not fall down.

Positive thinking, you see.

Oh God. I nearly did a cartwheel there. I cannot walk in these shoes. I opened my mouth to ask Alice if she had anything _flat_ that I could wear on my feet, but I didn't get a chance.

"Let's go, let's go!" she trilled, and I was practically frogmarched out of her room.

Walking down the stairs was an ordeal, and I almost killed myself, but I made it to the bottom with all limbs intact.

I inhaled sharply.

Edward was in the hall, leaning against the wall with his hands behind his back, drumming his fingers against it. I swallowed nervously. His party attire consisted of his usual black jeans, a barely buttoned black shirt over a white vest, with a loose, bright red tie and red Converse to match.

Hot. Hot. Gahuh. He's hot.

"Oh good, Edward, you're ready," Alice said, and I glared at her. She could have told me he was going! Gah.

"I've been ready for three hours," he muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Shut up. Beauty takes time," Alice sang. "And doesn't Bella look great?" she added, and I froze.

Death. Imminent.

Edward's head turned towards me, and my heart began to thump loudly when his eyes looked me up and down, slowly.

He did a weird jerk of his head, and walked out the front door.

"Was that supposed to be a yes?" Alice asked, amused.

"God only knows," I muttered, trying to calm myself down. "It was probably meant as some sort of an insult."

She didn't hear me, for which I was grateful for. I followed her outside, chewing on my lip. I couldn't see myself having much fun tonight. I didn't dance, or flirt, or drink, and I didn't know enough people to mingle and chat all night. I was just going to have to hover awkwardly by Alice and hope something unexpected would happen.

We were taking Edward's car tonight, it seemed, and I climbed into the backseat of a silver Volvo with Alice. The car was clean and it smelled like the red air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror. I fidgeted, only half listening to Alice's babbling next to me. Edward drove, silent in the front seat, and I tried not to stare at the back of his head like an obsessed idiot.

Once we arrived at Emmett's house and the car was parked, Edward didn't hang around; he went straight inside, refusing to look at either of us. He seemed to have a habit of doing that - just storming away without a word.

Why wouldn't he look at me? Did he really not _see_ me?

Alice took my hand and pulled me towards the party.

Emmett was loud and funny and entertaining. Rosalie hung off of his arm, looking like a beauty queen. Alice located Jasper early on, and my hovering-awkwardly-by-Alice-all-night plan was scrapped when they started making out, so I wandered off by myself. I didn't know anyone, and wasn't confident enough to introduce myself. I felt incredibly out of place and self-conscious.

And there was no sign of Edward anywhere.

After an hour of boredom and pretence - I had to seem like I was having a good time, right? - I was seriously considering just going home. I wasn't really enjoying myself, and my heels were starting to kill me. I also had a very bad case of wallflower-itis, and couldn't seem to break away from the wall. I was in the middle of thinking of the various excuses I could tell Alice, and actually get away with, when somebody walked up to me.

A guy. He was cute, in an ordinary sort of way. Nothing mind-blowing, like Edward, but I definitely wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crisps.

"What's a beautiful girl like you doing over here by herself?" he asked, leaning against the wall next to me, his words slurring a little.

He was drunk. His hands were in his pockets, and I had done a study on body language - that meant he was thinking about sex. Great. I had a drunk, randy teenage boy attempting to chat me up. Oh, the joys of adolescence.

Jeez, I sounded like a forty-year-old.

Worse. I sounded like my mother.

Gah! I was going to have to talk to him now, and prove myself wrong. And plus, even though it was stupid, I kind of wanted to feel… wanted. I mean, the guy I liked-but-didn't-want-to-like-but-still-liked-all-the-same was showing absolutely no interest in me, so why not? I couldn't wait around for a miracle, could I?

"I'm observing," I replied, lamely. I couldn't flirt, OK? I just couldn't.

"I hope you were observing me," he grinned. "'Cause I was observing you…"

Oh, give me a break.

"That's great," I said, unable to think of anything better, and if I waited too long to say something, he'd think I was some kind of mute freak.

"I'm James," he introduced himself, and moved closer to me. Hah. I saw that, buddy.

Oh God, I was actually talking to him _inside of my own head_. What was I _doing_…?

I think I needed alcohol now. I was going mad.

"I'm Bella," I said, throwing him a polite smile.

"Bella? The new chick?" James asked incredulously, actually squinting at me.

I nodded, uncomfortable.

"Huh," he said. "You look different. You look pretty."

Well, that was a backhanded comment if I had ever heard one.

I suddenly felt like a big pile of crap. I wanted to go home. I wanted to get away from this enormous _idiot_. I wanted a hug.

"Thanks," I muttered, struggling with the hurt rising up inside me. I wouldn't let this drunk jerk get to me. It just really _hurt_, you know - I had already been feeling self-conscious enough, and I was out of my comfort zone, almost literally, in this dress and these heels, and ugh… I just really wasn't in a party mood right now.

"You're welcome," James grinned, and he was leaning towards me, and he looked like he wanted to kiss me.

He was cute, but… he wasn't Edward.

I didn't want to kiss James.

But like I said, why not? It's not like _Edward_ wanted to kiss me, or pretty much have anything to do with me, after all.

Ugh. Why do I always want the things I can't have?

I was distracted by someone clearing their throat loudly, and my head turned, as did James's.

And there stood Edward, arms folded, tapping one foot.

"Yes?" James asked.

"Can I have a word with you?" Edward asked me, completely ignoring him. I frowned, confused.

"Sure?" I said uncertainly.

_What the hell?_

"I'll wait for you, Bella," James said, and wandered off somewhere. Edward threw his trademark glare after him.

"What do you want?" I asked him, folding my own arms to match his stance.

He glared at me instead. "What are you doing?" he demanded.

"What do you mean, what am I doing?"

"You're -" he flailed one hand in James's general direction, raising his eyebrows.

What the hell was he implying, and how was it any of _his_ business?

"_And_?" I shrugged, and he scowled.

"Well, I mean -"

"Edward," I cut him off, "what are _you _doing?"

His glare faded unexpectedly, and for a split second, he looked entirely lost.

"I have no idea," he muttered, and began to walk away.

I followed him.


	5. Abducted By Edward Cullen

**Hahahahaha, thank you for the reviews - extremely funny. I LIKE whoever said it seems that Edward is PMSing - rofl. And I agree with darcyM - Edward really is too hot to function. That's why he's a jerk. :D Anyway, this chapter is kinda short, but ah well, I hope you enjoy it! x x x**

**Chapter Five: Abducted By Edward Cullen**

I think he knew I was following him, but he didn't turn around and give out to me, or tell me to leave him alone. Or both. I followed him into the hallway, where he turned around to face me, leaning against the wall.

His moody expression was back, the sexy one. His lower lip jutted out slightly and his eyes were downcast, and he was looking down at the ground wearily. I stood opposite him, fidgeting, waiting.

Did he know that you could see his abs through that vest?

Focus, Bella.

"You shouldn't…" he began, but stopped himself, shaking his head. He rolled his eyes, but for once, I didn't think it was anything to do with me.

"I shouldn't what?" I prompted. This was so frustrating. I wanted him to talk to me. I wanted to know what he was thinking.

He eyed me for a moment, and looked away again.

"You shouldn't… go for James. He's an asshole."

"Like you, you mean," I said, before I could stop myself.

"Yeah," he agreed to my surprise, sighing. "But he's worse than me. Just… don't…"

"What's it to you, Edward?" I asked, curiosity raging.

"It isn't anything to me," he snapped, and I tried to hide how much that hurt.

"Well then, what the _hell_?" I said loudly, sick of being on the receiving end of his ever-changing moods.

He glared at me, and I glared back.

"I don't get you, Edward," I told him.

"Well, I don't get you, either," he retorted.

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean, what do I mean?" he almost yelled. "You're the most frustrating, _insane_, confusing person I've ever met!"

"Ditto!" I shrieked, probably proving his 'insane' accusation right, yet again.

His sexy glare was out in full force, and he looked like he wanted to strangle me. Well, I wanted to strangle him. Could he not just _tell_ me what he was thinking, what he wanted from me? Did he have to keep torturing with cryptic remarks and nearly-there answers?

We just glared at each other, for ages. It got to a point where I wouldn't have been able to break his gaze, even if I had wanted to. He had me hooked, and I couldn't look away…

Then freaking James decided to join us.

"Bells!" he exclaimed, sticking his head into the hall. "Whatcha up to?"

Edward took one look at him, spared his death-glare for me, and took off, slamming the front door behind him. I flinched at the noise.

James swaggered over to me and put his arm across my shoulders. "So where were we?" he asked, smirking.

I shrugged out of his embrace, clearing my throat.

"Look, James, I think I'm going to go home. I don't feel well."

"OK," he said, looking a little put out. "Will I walk you?"

"No, it's OK," I said hastily.

"Whatever," he said, shrugging, and went back to the party.

I rolled my eyes, and slipped out of the house. There was no sign of Edward outside, and I shivered a little in the cold. I took out my phone and texted Alice to let her know I was walking home so that she'd know where I was, and set off, stumbling a little every now and then in my heels.

I sighed in frustration, and the sound was lost in the wind howling past my ears. It was cold, my shoes were hurting, and I still had a fair bit to walk. I was severely pissed off with the entire Edward situation, and I just wanted, for once, for things to be clear and simple.

Why wouldn't things make _sense_?

I heard a car on the road behind me, and my heart began to speed up when it began to slow down.

Oh, please, don't abduct me. That's the last thing I need right now.

It stopped next to me, but I kept on walking. The window rolled down, and I swallowed nervously.

"Get in."

I recognised his voice straight away. I didn't think I'd ever forget it.

"As if," I snorted, not even bothering to look at him. "You'd probably crash the car on purpose just to hurt me in some way."

_Like you always do._

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella," Edward sneered. "Get in the goddamn car."

"No," I said, and the next thing I knew, I was kissing the pavement.

Stupid heels.

Ouch.

I sat up, various body parts, my knees in particular, throbbing from the impact. I felt close to tears, and I struggled with myself. I would not break down. It was just a fall. Don't be a baby, Bella.

Edward's car screeched to a halt, and I heard him getting out. Oh, bloody hell. I rearranged myself, trying to look as dignified as I possibly could.

My heart stuttered and jumped when he put his arms around my waist.

"Come on, you can't even walk. How come you're always falling over around me?" he said, lifting me up. I swayed unsteadily, nearly knocking us both over, trying to find my feet again.

"Shut up," I muttered, wishing he'd let go of me. My heart couldn't take it.

He snorted, sounding exasperated. "_Please_ get in the car?"

Because I was immature and had just fallen over and was in a considerable amount of pain, I huffed and hawed for a few minutes before eventually getting into the car, rubbing my elbow. I watched him as he strode around the front of the car to his side, his shoulders hunched, and he slammed the car door after climbing into his seat.

After I gave him directions, we were silent. He was a really good driver, and I used the dark interior of the car to inconspicuously try and soothe the stinging areas of my skin. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him glancing at me every now and then.

"Bella…?" he asked, suddenly, and I looked at him. He was glaring out of the windshield, and I waited.

"Are you OK?" he said, in a flat tone, and I just somehow knew that it hadn't been the question he had been going to ask.

"I'm fine," I lied.

He nodded, and fell quiet again. Until…

"Bella…?"

"What?"

"Nothing," he sighed, after a pause. Whatever it was that he wanted to say, it didn't seem like he could say it. If I had been feeling frustrated earlier, it was nothing compared to now.

He didn't speak again. He pulled up outside my house, and I could see from the downstairs light that Charlie had waited up for me.

Oh, please don't come outside.

"Thank you," I said to Edward, and my hand began to blindly search for the door handle. I couldn't seem to locate it, and I fumbled embarrassingly for a while. He made an annoyed clicking sound with his tongue, and reached over to help me, his hand hitting off mine just as I found the handle.

Our faces were too close. My breath caught, and he just stared at me, and there was no glare, no anger, no hatred or impatience, nothing to suggest that I was somebody he didn't like. We stared at each other until I felt dizzy, and exhaled raggedly. That seemed to wake him up, and the door opened, the cool air rushing in and chilling me.

"Night, Bella," he said lowly, and I climbed out, stumbling a little, my brain a complete pile of mush. Having his gorgeousness up that close should be illegal. I couldn't remember how to walk in a straight line.

He drove away, and I listened to the car's engine until it faded from my hearing, before I went inside.

How the hell was I ever going to get him out of my head?


	6. Fluff Isn't My Thing

**Massive thanks for the reviews, my mother has taken to asking me why I looked so shocked all the time. lol. You're all so freakin' funny, also. A few of you have asked for an Edward POV, and... sorry, but no. I'd get it wrong, and plus, I'd GIVE EVERYTHING AWAY. You're just going to have to wait and see, aha, but maybe I'll do his POV at the end, we'll see. I'm getting sick of mentioning darcyM now, lol, but it's like she's reading my mind with this one. Have a beanie :D enjoy! x x x**

**Chapter Six: Fluff Isn****'****t My Thing**

I dreamt about him.

I spent all of Sunday thinking about him.

I just… couldn't figure out what he thought of me. Did he like me? Did he just tolerate me because I was his sister's friend? Did he actually hate me, or was that just a front? Did he really care about me?

I mean, look at that thing with James. Edward blanked him, and then asked for a word with me, and seemed totally outraged that I was talking to another guy. My heart wanted to believe it was jealously, but my head was telling me not to get my hopes up.

And then he told me to stay away from James, because James was an asshole. He wouldn't do that if he didn't care, right? He was being protective and concerned and… whatever. And then after that he drove me home because he didn't want me walking home late at night.

Most of my theories were plausible, but why did he have to make everything so complicated? If he cared about me, why was he mean to me?

Oh God. Don't tell me this was that playground thing where the boy throws mud at the girl, simply because he likes her.

Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen, huh?

I hated admitting that whatever way Edward was playing this, it was working.

But you know, maybe there was no _game_, no _strategy_. Maybe Edward was just being Edward, and I was just seeing things that… weren't there.

Who knows?

I certainly didn't.

He sucked at communication, I knew that.

School on Monday morning wasn't fun. I had to deal with Alice, who was in a slight snit because I had left the party early without saying goodbye. My unfortunate bad luck had me run into James… that was an awkward conversation. He called me Belle.

Because of my Edward preoccupation, most of my homework was poorly attempted, and I kept getting called out on it.

So all in all, I was not having a good day.

I walked into Biology with low expectations. I wanted to believe that the little _moment_ we had in the car would change things, but I doubted it.

I tried not to look at him, I really tried.

But I chanced a glance and needed to look again.

And I drooled.

He just gets better looking every day. It's outrageous.

He was wearing his pouty, moody expression, and his hair was hanging in his eyes, a black beanie hat keeping it flat. Very Pete Wentz.

He was wearing that nice and tight black T-shirt again, with his usual skinny jeans and Converse, although today he had accessorised with a black-and-white print scarf, and a pair of black-and-white striped fingerless gloves.

Damn.

He must look into his mirror every morning and say to himself: _yes, I am a God._

_And I damn well know how to dress._

_And now I shall go to school and watch that Bella Swan drool all over me_.

Sigh.

I took my seat next to him, my heart lurching. He didn't look up at me; he had his iPod in his lap, and seemed to be flicking through it or something. His music was loud again - I could almost make out the song he was listening to from where I was sitting, even over the loud chattering of the class as they waited for the teacher to arrive.

It sounded familiar, the song. I couldn't quite place it though.

I fidgeted, waiting for something… anything.

Would he say hi to me? Would he ignore me? Was I stupid for thinking anything had changed, or was I stupid to think that nothing had changed?

Gah. I hated boys. They just turned me into a twit.

Mr Banner stormed in and shouted for everybody to shut up, and the chatter more or less died down. Edward looked up and quickly yanked the earphones out of his ears, and turned the iPod off. He turned his head to the side and spotted me, and jumped.

Oh God. I didn't look that horrible today, did I?

Maybe he just hadn't realised I was there. That was probably it, I consoled myself, but still felt extremely self-conscious.

He met my gaze.

Yep. He does wear eyeliner.

I was about to say hi, when he looked away from me, and slumped on the table without a word.

Great.

What did I have to _do_? Ugh. This is why I didn't want to like him. I didn't want to have to work so hard, to constantly be on the edge of my seat, waiting for a glance or a smile or just _something_. Either he liked me, or he didn't. End of story.

Would he ever just make his mind up and let me know, so that I could go back to normality?

I was sick of being so… _Bella,_ about this.

Class started, and I tried to pay attention, but how could I, with this gorgeous, confusing, emo God just inches away?

I liked being close to him. I know that sounds pathetic, but it was my favourite part of day, walking into Biology, checking out what he was wearing, drooling, and then sitting next to him for an hour. I loved it.

We all started taking notes, and I doodled on the corner of my page whenever Mr Banner went into one of his off-the-point rants.

And then out of nowhere, Edward shoved a piece of paper at me.

I thought I might have a heart attack from shock.

I picked it up disbelievingly, admiring his neat handwriting, and hid it from the teacher's view before reading.

_Your pencil case is hurting my eyes._

I glanced at the fluffy abomination, sitting innocently on the desk with the word PRINCESS sparkling across it for everyone to see, and I started to laugh. I quickly turned it into coughing as not to attract attention to myself, and stole a glance at Edward. He was smirking.

Edward Cullen.

Smirking.

Gasp shock horror.

Holy freaking crap, he was hot.

I dug out the fluffiest pen I could find in the pencil case and wrote back, almost ashamed of my untidy scrawl. My heart was pounding.

_Thank you for the newsflash._

I couldn't think of anything wittier, unfortunately. I waited until Mr Banner was writing on the board again, and quickly passed the note at Edward. He hunched over it, and I noticed for the first time that he was left-handed, as he scribbled a reply. Just that simple fact made him even more gorgeous to me, and I couldn't even explain why.

Edward passed the note back to me, and I took it, way too eagerly.

_Permission to burn your pencil case?_

_Permission denied. Burn your own pencil case. There__'__s nothing in it, anyway._

_At least I don__'__t own a collection of fluffy crap._

_You could do with some fluff in your life, Edward. You might smile a lot more._

He snorted quietly at that.

_Fluff isn__'__t my thing, princess._

That annoyed me.

_Then what is your thing? Glaring at me for owning something fluffy?_

_Well, what did you expect me to do? Giggle?_

The sudden image of Edward giggling was overwhelming, and I cracked up silently to myself. It was a good five minutes before I was recovered enough to write back, and I could practically feel the glare radiating off of him the entire time. That only made it funnier, though.

_I__'__ll eat the pencil case just to watch you giggle_, I wrote back, smiling.

_I__'__ll giggle for an hour if you just get rid of that thing. The reason why you continue to use it is beyond me. _

_The fact that it annoys you is good enough for me._

I was quite proud of that comeback.

_You really love annoying me, don__'__t you?_

I frowned a little, reading that. I couldn't decide whether he was being cryptic or not.

_Oh, yes. I come to Biology every day, just to watch you get annoyed by the pencil case._

_Stalker. Stop watching me._

_Shut up, emo._

_Princess._

_Grouch._

_Klutz._

_Jerk. _

_Wemo._

_What the hell is a wemo?_

_A wannabe emo._

_Why would I want to be emo?_

_Because you want me to like you._

My heart started to race.

_Don__'__t flatter yourself._

_Stop lying to both of us._

_Shut up, Edwemo._

He snorted again at that, and I realised he was… laughing.

Edward Cullen.

Laughing.

Wonders will never freaking cease.

I tried to get a good look at him but he was still hunched over the table slightly and his face was hidden from me. _Damn_. I watched his shoulders shake, and rolled my eyes. Edward Cullen was laughing and I couldn't even see it. How great was my luck?

I bet he looked _dazzling_ when he laughed.

He'd probably dazzle me anyway, with just a smile.

A smirk wasn't enough. I wanted to see him _smile_, like properly.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Edward's next note.

_You shut up, Princess Fluff. I know you want me._

I panicked. Was I that transparent? Gah!

_I know I want you to go away._

I didn't mean it, at all. I was just teasing. I was also a little scared that he was on to me, and could see how pathetic and how covered in drool I was.

He picked the note up and read it, and we both jumped as the bell rang.

Had class really gone that fast? But… I only just sat down!

I stood up and gathered my stuff hastily, and in my peripheral vision I could see him doing the same. Our note was crumpled up and shoved into his pencil case, I noticed. I wished I could keep it. You know, just… to stare at it. Occasionally. Or all the time.

We both turned towards each other at the same time, our mouths falling open to speak, but we both stopped. I waited for him to say something, but he didn't, and we just gazed at each other for a minute.

The classroom was emptying around us, but I didn't even notice.

That was, until Edward cleared his throat, and shuffled away.

_Oh, for the love of God__…_

I wondered what I did wrong. Maybe he had taken what I had said the wrong way or something. I regretted writing it - I should have said something else, something that couldn't be misinterpreted.

A horrible thought hit me, as I left the classroom.

Had he been trying to _flirt_ with me?

Should I have said: _YES, YOU__'__RE RIGHT, I WANT YOU! SO HAVE ME, I__'__M YOURS_!

Or something?

I couldn't flirt. I couldn't even recognise flirting. Oh Jesus.

Had he been trying to figure out if I liked him? Had he been trying to provoke a response from me or something?

I told him I wanted him to go away.

_Aw, crap, Bella._

I just hoped he would realise that I didn't honestly mean it. If he thought I didn't like him, after everything, then he really did not get me at all.

I chewed my lip. I found it kind of sad, that we didn't seem to be able to have a conversation to one another's faces.


	7. Can I Take Some Pictures Of You?

**Reviews: unreal. My new word: bombsauce ;) lol. Jen: fix the internet. Chloe: you will never be marrying Pete Wentz, stop dreaming. Eimear: welcome back to the internet, and HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY! darcyM: I love you really. Oh, and if anyone recognises the song in this chapter, could you plz lemme know who sings it? I can't for the life of me think of who it is. Thank you all so much for reviewing, you make my day, and you make this so easy to write! enjoy! x x x**

**Seven: Can I Take Some Pictures Of You?**

Alice had forgiven me by lunch time, and invited me up to her house again after school. I agreed, partly because I hated being bored at home, and partly because I wanted to somehow correct my mistake with Edward. I didn't know how I would do it. But I needed to. I couldn't have him going around thinking I didn't want him around me - that was just craziness.

Couldn't he see how infatuated I was?

I hung around with Alice for a few hours, just chatting about random things and listening to music, but Edward preyed on my mind. I was wondering if I would get a chance to speak to him at all, when Alice's cell phone rang.

"Hi, Rosalie," she answered it, her tone confused. "What's -? Oh, not again!" she complained.

I was curious.

Alice rolled her eyes and listened to whatever Rosalie was saying, shaking her head disapprovingly.

"I'm sure you're overreacting again, Rose," she sighed. "Hang on one minute."

Alice covered the mouthpiece and made a face at me. "Rosalie and Emmett are after breaking up again - it's ridiculous, and they're probably going to be back together by the end of this phone call - but this might take a while, sorry, Bella."

"Oh, that's cool," I shrugged. "I don't mind."

"OK," she smiled, and returned to the phone call exasperatedly. "Right, Rosalie, what did he do this time?"

I tuned out for a while, reading a magazine I found on the floor, but I got bored eventually. Looking over at Alice, who busy analysing everything Emmett had said and waving her hand around animatedly, I realised she wouldn't miss me for a while. I could find Edward, and speak to him.

My stomach clenched with nerves. Did I dare? I mean, what if he didn't want to see me? What if I would just be annoying him? Did I even have the guts to make the first move?

I didn't have a choice. If I made no effort at all, he would think I wasn't interested. And what if he found some gorgeous emo girl and I was left with just a big pile of hurt and regrets?

No. I would talk to him. I might crap myself, but I would talk to him.

I slipped out of the room, unnoticed by Alice, and before I knew it, I was standing in front of Edward's door. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself. He wasn't going to murder me, I assured myself. I would come out of this alive.

I hoped.

I knocked on the door, kind of unable to believe I was even daring to.

"What?"

He sounded grumpy. Perfect.

I opened the door hesitantly. He was lying on his bed with the black electric guitar in his lap, a songbook next to him. He looked up, and raised his eyebrows when he realised it was me.

"Stalking me again?"

"Yep," I said, rolling my eyes. "Do you mind if I take some pictures of you while I'm here? My wall is looking pretty bare."

"Whatever gets you through the night," he shrugged.

I hung around awkwardly in the doorway, pulling at my sleeve. He was fiddling with the guitar, and I wondered was he avoiding looking at me. He had his beautiful moody face on, and I really wished for the second time that day that I could see him smile. He'd look even more divine.

"Bella, will you stop standing there staring at me?" he said suddenly, and I blushed, snapping out of my trance.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "Do you want me to go?"

I hadn't realised how important that question was to me until I asked it.

He was silent for a long time, before eventually shrugging again. I decided to stay, and leant against the wall by the door.

"What kind of guitar is that?" I asked.

"Gibson Les Paul Custom," he said.

"It's pretty," I commented, admiring the gold pickups.

"Pretty," he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

OK, so maybe that was a bad word choice.

"Do you play it?" I asked, trying to maintain an actual conversation with him. I wanted to know if we could talk to each other, without having to rely on scraps of paper.

"No, I vacuum my room with it."

Huh. Jerk. OK, it was probably a stupid question, my bad - but did he_ have_ to be so sarcastic? I was starting to get sick of being the one who had to make all the effort.

"Sorry for asking," I mumbled. "I'll just go then."

I didn't want to, but I turned away and took a step towards the door.

But then Edward started playing the guitar, and I stopped. I turned back around so that I could watch him.

He played really, really well - I didn't even know a guitar could sound like that. And that face he made when he was concentrating… guh.

Then he freaking started singing to me.

"_And I don__'__t want the world to see me_

'_Cause I don__'__t think that they__'__d understand_

_When everything__'__s made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am__…_"

I was frozen, my breathing and heart rate all over the place. I loved that song.

He stared back at me, his expression brooding, but yet there was some kind of a vulnerability about him.

I did want to know who he was.

I also really wanted to kiss the little emo face off him.

We were just gazing at each other, so many unspoken words hanging in the air.

And then Alice skipped in and ruined the moment.

"What are you doing in here, Bella?" she asked suspiciously, and I turned red.

"Er, eh, well," I stuttered, still in a bit of a daze.

He just _sang_ to me. A _God_ just _sang_ to me.

"I kidnapped her," Edward said, and we both looked at him. He was now glaring sullenly at the guitar.

That was random.

"Riiiight," Alice said, exchanging a confused look with me. "Edward, if you become any more of a freak, I'm calling the psyche ward."

"Well, if you become any more of a Barbie, I'll be putting you inside a cardboard box and selling you in a toy shop."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She strode over to his desk suddenly, and snatched something up.

"Why are three of my eyeliners in here, Edward?" she demanded, holding up the three black eye pencils.

Edward's eyes were shifty.

"I dunno. How'd they get there?" he asked, too innocently.

"I wonder…" Alice frowned, pursing her lips.

Edward just shrugged, and I wanted to laugh.

"Stop wearing my makeup," Alice gave out.

"Stop leaving your makeup in my room so that you can set me up for this when there're other people around."

"Stop lying."

"Stop accusing me of wearing makeup."

"You do wear makeup!"

"Do not. Get out now."

"Fine," Alice said, rolling her eyes again. "But you can buy your own makeup in future."

Edward glared at her, but she ignored him, and began pushing me out of the room.

"See you later, Edward," I said, but he didn't look up.

I didn't hear his reply.

* * *

It was so pathetic, but the anticipation of Biology class was all that sustained me throughout that evening, and the next morning. Edward Cullen was rapidly becoming my obsession, and I had no idea how to get over it. I didn't even know if I wanted to.

When I walked into the classroom, though, he wasn't there. He was usually sitting in his seat, glaring, but today there was no Edward. My heart sank. The whole day just seemed pointless now, and that scared me. My life didn't revolve around this guy, and I hated that it felt like it did.

I took my seat, depressed. I took out all my books, and the infernal pencil case, and slumped on the table. I was going to have to wait until tomorrow to see him, and that thought depressed me even more.

I watched Mr Banner's attempt to settle the class, and tried to look on the bright side. Maybe I'd actually learn something in Biology today.

But then the door opened suddenly, and Edward walked in.

"Sorry," he muttered, surly-faced, and was treated to a little lecture on punctuality before being allowed to take his seat.

He walked towards me, and it was like slow motion.

_Bom chicka wah wah. _

He looked _yummy_. He wore a freaking sexy black waistcoat, with a dark blue shirt underneath, my favourite black jeans and dark blue Converse. His hair was spiky, and he was once again, a gorgeous, emo _God_.

This guy was going to be the death of me.

He didn't take his eyes off the ground the entire way to his seat, and I shivered when he walked behind me. I hoped he didn't notice. He sat down next to me, taking stuff out of his bag and sighing to himself, and I was dying to know why he was late.

But Edward and I weren't quite _there_ yet.

We had reached some weird, mutual, unspoken understanding. We didn't _hate_ each other, and we spoke to each other, but we still weren't friends… or anything, really. We were just…_this_.

I wanted more, but I couldn't be all clingy and push him away. I had to be patient, and wait for him to snap out of his little emo moods and actually make an effort with me. If I waited and this didn't happen, then I wasn't going to wait around forever. I'd have to accept the fact that we'd always be nothing, and I would do it, no matter how much it killed me.

But at this moment in time, I was hopeful.

He sang to me. He passed me a note. He drove me home. He picked me up when I fell down. He laughed at one of my lame jokes. Etcetera.

If all that wouldn't give a girl some hope, then I didn't know what would.

His pencil case seemed to have been restocked, and he took out a black pen and held it between two fingers, and started tapping it off the table. It was immediately irritating.

I sneaked a look at his expression, and he was staring into space, frowning a little. I wondered what he was thinking.

I was going to break his fingers if he didn't stop tapping that pen.

Grr.

I tried sighing in exasperation and similar to get his attention, but he was in some sort of trance. Unless… he was ignoring me. Gah.

He was just getting harder and harder to read, and was now almost impossible to figure out. He was just totally random; one minute he was ignoring me, the next he was passing me notes. One minute he was rolling his eyes at me, the next he was singing to me.

I had never come across anyone so confusing.

He was still tapping that freaking pen.

I didn't have the guts to tell him to stop, which was further proof that we just didn't seem to work talking to each other's faces. I was afraid to say stuff, and usually when I spoke it was something stupid or lame. And he was always sarcastic, and preferred to communicate with shrugs and glares instead of actual speaking.

So I discreetly tore a page out of my A4 pad and scribbled a note on the top of it.

_Stop tapping that pen. _

I folded it up and waited for a good opportunity to pass it along. Mr Banner turned around, and I shoved it quickly in his direction. I was so afraid he wouldn't notice it, or that he would just ignore it, but his hand shot out to grab it, almost like he knew it was coming.

The irritating tapping stopped as he read it, and I sighed in relief, but then it just started up again at a faster pace.

Oh, I _hate_ him.

His shoulders were shaking again - he was laughing. That's twice now, that I've missed him laughing because he's hunched over the desk like a sulky child. For goodness sake.

I folded my arms and huffed and made sure he knew how immature and annoying I thought he was, and considered crumpling up the note when he passed it back. But of course I didn't. _Edward Cullen_ passed me a note, I wasn't freaking going to ignore it.

_Stop passing me notes. You__'__re distracting me from learning. _

I dithered for a minute. I wondered if he was just joking, or whether he was actually wishing that I would go away and stop doing things like appearing in his room and passing him notes. Did he want me to go away? That was the thing, though - I couldn't tell. He was giving me mixed signals.

But I wrote back. I couldn't help it.

_Sorry, preppy boy. I__'__ll leave you alone then._

It all depended on what he said next. I waited nervously, fidgeting. I was so afraid he was going to say something like 'thank God' or 'finally'. My poor heart was about to have a breakdown. He shoved the note back at me, and I opened it, holding my breath.

_Why did you move to Forks?_

I exhaled. That was random. I couldn't figure out where that question had come from. He must be joking or something.

_Because it had always been my lifelong dream to sit next to you everyday and watch you glare at random people._

He made an annoyed clicking noise with his tongue when he read it.

_No, I mean, really. Why?_

I stared at his handwriting, chewing my lip. I still didn't understand him. But I wrote back, and I was honest, and I explained all about my mother and Phil, and how I wasn't really needed, and how I figured it was about time I spent some time with my dad anyway. I pushed the note back towards him, and wondered why he wanted to know.

He stopped tapping the pen as he read it, and I decided to enjoy the somewhat silence while I could. Mr Banner was gesticulating enthusiastically about some ecology project, but I was barely listening. I fidgeted with the zip on my pencil case as I waited for him to write back.

_Do you like it here?_

_It could be a lot worse, I suppose. The weather sucks._

_You get used to it. _

_I don__'__t think I could get used to rain. _

Oh, for God's sake. Stop talking about the weather.

I cast my mind around for other topics of conversation as I waited for him to pass the note back. But his next sentence nearly made me fall off my chair.

_Will you be my partner?_

WHAT?

I gaped at the page. I very much wanted to make a lot of noise, but I controlled myself. Keep calm, keep calm. I was almost positive that he didn't mean what I thought he meant, so I just put a little question mark down on the page, because I didn't trust myself to write anything else down. I'd only mortify myself.

He wrote back speedily, and he was scratching at his head, which led me to think that maybe he was embarrassed.

_I mean, for the ecology project. We need a partner__…_

My hand shook a little as I wrote back, which was ridiculous.

_OK._

Yet again, I couldn't trust myself to say anything else.

_Thanks._

_No problem. _

He didn't write back, and I spent the rest of the class sitting next to the emo God, trying not to grin like an idiot.


	8. Thoughts I Should Not Be Thinking

**OK, so I have a good excuse. MY LAPTOP IS BROKEN. The last two weeks have been the most depressing of my life. But it is currently in some sort of shop being fixed, so hopefully I shall be up and running soon again. Don't worry, I refuse to abandon this story. But the next chapter might be a while, unfortunately. Bleaurgh. Anyway, so thank you JEN for letting me borrow your fab computer and fabber internet lol, you have saved my sanity. xXx. THANK YOU to everyone reviewing - you're all freaking awesome. Enjoy!**

**Chapter Eight: Thoughts I Should Not Be Thinking**

"So, eh…" Edward began, the moment the bell rang. I jumped, not prepared for the sound of his I-just-swallowed-a-bowl-of-melted-chocolate voice. There had been no more communication for the rest of the class, and I fully expected him to just shuffle away and ignore me, like he always did.

I looked up at him, and he was fiddling with the end of his shirt, staring down at the floor. He glanced up at me, but didn't hold my gaze for long.

"Do you want to come to my house on Saturday?" he asked, still pulling at the end of his shirt.

Guhuh.

Hell, yes.

"Uh, sure?" I said, not meaning it to sound like a question, but convinced I had somehow fallen into a coma during the ultra-boring Biology lectures and was now having a rather pleasant dream.

Did he just ask me to his house?

"There's a kind of… woods, behind our house, and we could use that for the ecology thing…" he muttered, scratching at his head again, his cheeks a little pink. He was embarrassed. I swooned, just a little.

I actually had no idea what we needed to do for the ecology project and why the woods behind Edward's house would be necessary, but I nodded and agreed like I knew what he was talking about.

"Cool," he said, and off he went, in his tight little jeans.

I shook my head a few times, trying to clear it.

Me. Edward. In a woods. Alone. Experimenting.

Oh God, that sounded all wrong when I put it like that. Now I was having thoughts that I should not be having.

Right. Next class. Whatever it is. Shut up, brain.

* * *

It was lashing rain. I stood there in swampy grass, my hair soaked and straggly despite the useless excuse for a hood, my jeans saturated and clinging to my skin uncomfortably, watching Edward marching around looking for stuff in his black army boots.

He still managed to look like a God in the rain, while I managed to look like a drowned cat.

Yes, I had been ogling him, more than I probably should have been. Today, he was wearing a black hoodie, and the hood was hiding half his gorgeous face, along with the black cap he had stuck on his head over it.

He had barely said five words to me since I arrived.

I could list them to you.

"Hi", "well", "OK", "right" and "er".

He had also been acting all awkward and jumpy, which led me to think that my presence made him slightly uncomfortable. I hated that. I didn't obviously want him to be all uptight and whatever around me. I wished there was something I could do or say that would just make him… relax. Let me see the person behind the emo front.

God, I had turned into such a sap.

Well, this ecology project was a bust, anyway. I was totally useless, and judging by the way Edward kept huffing and throwing his eyes up to heaven, he was not making much progress in the finding-whatever-we're-supposed-to-be-finding mission.

I would have loved to help him, but I really had not been paying attention in class all week.

He kept passing me notes. Every day. One of us would pass the notes first, and then we'd talk for most of the class. Sometimes he wouldn't answer one of my questions, and I'd get frustrated. Sometimes I'd make a joke or be sarcastic instead of answering one of his, and he'd get all eye-roll-y.

But we were _talking_. I got tingles every time he passed me another note. I laughed when he went on yet another rant about my pencil case.

This guy was something else. He made me laugh, cry, smile, frown, frustrated, excited, happy, sad, devastated, annoyed and tingly, all at the same time. This resulted in very erratic Bella behaviour, of course.

And now I was standing in the rain, cold and shaking and soaking, but it was worth it, because he was there with me, and it didn't seem so bad.

"Bella," Edward said suddenly, and I snapped out of my trance.

A new word!

"Yeah?" I said, trying to make it look like I was doing something. I actually hadn't a clue what I was supposed to be doing.

"Shouldn't you be helping?" he demanded.

"I am," I huffed, even though it was a complete lie.

He snorted. "Could've fooled me," I heard him mutter.

I rolled my eyes and started making my way through the grass. Stupid, pushy idiot…

And then I tripped.

"Oof!" I gasped, when I landed hard straight into some kind of swampy, disgusting puddle. I struggled upright, hoping he hadn't seen, but those hopes fell pretty quickly when he was suddenly there, helping me up.

"You OK?" he asked, and his voice sounded awfully strained, like he was holding back laughter.

"Do you think this is funny?" I demanded, brushing leaves and bits of grass from my shoulders, wiping the horrible slimy crap from my fingers discreetly on my jeans.

"No," he said, a suppressed laugh in the syllable.

"You are," I huffed.

"Not," he protested, but turned away from me, hiding his face.

I wondered if I was ever going to see him smile, or laugh. Why was he so determined to keep his happy face from me?

All emos smile, even once in a while.

I felt nasty; my clothes were now even more destroyed than before, thanks to Disgusting Swamp Puddle. There were no such things as swampy puddles in Phoenix.

But then, there was no such thing as beautiful emo Edward in Phoenix, either.

I found that I didn't have one regret in moving here. It may be full of swampy crappy puddles, but at least Edward was here, helping me out of them.

My God, when had I become so sappy and poetic and crap?

I should become a poet. Why so sullen, Edward Cullen?

See? Poetry.

After about an hour of trudging around pretending to look for things, Edward eventually decided to give up, and I agreed, relieved. He seemed to have found some stuff for the project, and I felt slightly guilty for not contributing, but honestly - who could expect me to pay attention in Biology whilst sitting next to a God? Ridiculousness.

I followed Edward back to his house, and he held the door open for me. He was dripping water all over the hall floor, but he didn't seem to care. I was pulling leaves out of my hair, when, right in freaking front of me, he just pulled his hoodie off. The T-shirt he was wearing underneath got stuck to it, and I was given a gorgeous view of his muscled chest and six-pack…

I clutched the wall for support.

Gulp.

Edward pulled his head out of the hoodie, which left his hair in a beautiful state of disarray, and fixed his T-shirt, which was damp and clinging to him. I don't think he realised that I had been watching his almost striptease, but if he did, he didn't turn around and start laughing and pointing or teasing me. Thankfully.

I tried not to stare at his muscly arms.

"I'll get you a towel," he muttered, still not looking at me, and shuffled away towards the stairs, his shoes making squelching noises against the wooden floor. I waited there awkwardly, shivering slightly, hoping this so-called towel had an inbuilt fireplace.

Esme appeared out of nowhere, it seemed. I jumped, not thinking there was anyone home. Alice had regretfully (her, not me) told me that she had plans with Rosalie for Saturday, and that she wouldn't be home. Of course, I convinced her that this was OK - just me and Edward? Yes, please.

I guessed Carlisle was at the hospital, and judging by the way Esme had a million shopping bags in her arms, she had been out shopping. Clearly.

"Oh, hello, Bella," she greeted me warmly, not looking at all surprised to see me there.

I wondered briefly if Edward had mentioned that I would be here. Had he said anything else about me? Ooh, I hope so.

My obsession was sad.

"Hi, Mrs Cullen," I said, my teeth chattering slightly.

"Call me Esme," she insisted, and pursed her lips as she took in my drowned-cat appearance. "You're soaked. I'll tumble dry your clothes for you before you go home," she decided.

"You don't have to-" I began, not wanting to put her out. I would just accept Edward's towel, offer to write up the experiment since he did most of the dirty work, and then I'd go home and jump in a hot shower. I didn't want to make a big fuss over a bit of rainwater. And swampy water, of course.

"Don't be silly," she cut me off. "Where's Edward?"

"He's getting me a towel."

Esme rolled her eyes. "He's a brain box, that one. EDWARD!" she yelled in the direction of the stairs.

"WHAT?"

"GET BELLA SOME DRY CLOTHES, WOULD YOU? There now, dear, you'll be warm and dry in no time," she said to me, smiling. "I'll have your clothes dry in about half an hour too. I'd just feel bad if I left you in those wet things."

"Thanks," I said, gratefully, and was immediately distracted by the thundering footsteps on the stairs.

Edward jumped the last three and shuffled his way down the hall, still wearing that damp and tight T-shirt. His expression was moody and beautiful again, and he wordlessly handed me a towel, and what looked like black skinny jeans and one of his hoodies.

"Could you not have borrowed some of Alice's stuff?" Esme asked, looking confused.

Edward froze, as though he hadn't even thought of that.

"Well, I don't know!" he exclaimed exasperatedly, flushing a little.

I stepped in hurriedly.

"These are fine," I said quickly.

Yes, I freaking wanted to wear his clothes! Are you kidding?!

Esme showed me to the bathroom, where I dried myself off and threw on Edward's clothes. The baggy hoodie smelled just like him. Just like… hair gel and aftershave and peppermint and…_Edward_.

I stood there hugging myself for a while, inhaling the smell.

The jeans were too long, and they were tight on me like they were on him, but they were so comfortable. No wonder he wore them all the time.

I wrung out my hair the best I could, but I still cringed when I looked in the mirror - I looked like Bob Marley. Dreadlocks, _man_. Gah.

I left the bathroom and found Esme waiting outside to grab my saturated clothes from my arms.

"Edward's in his room," she said. "You can go on up to him."

Aha. That was easier said than done.

However, I bravely climbed the stairs as noisily as I could, so that he knew I was on the way, and wouldn't glare at me for surprising him, or whatever. My stomach was twisting as I approached his door, which was open, and I was half terrified of interrupting him or annoying him or something. He was just so unpredictable. I never knew where I stood with him.

He was glaring into his mirror, fixing his hair.

It looked like he was trying to get it to lie flat, but it just kept sticking upwards in all directions. He looked hotter, with his hair all over the place. There was something incredible sexy about an emo, windswept Edward. Yum.

He saw me reflected in the glass, and looked over his shoulder, and did some kind of spastic double take. He looked me over, and I caught him eyeing my legs. I wanted to grin, because the jeans _were_ ridiculously tight and I only ever wore baggy trousers to school.

He coughed. "Oh, er, hi," he mumbled, and ran his fingers through his hair, seeming to forget about his attempts to make it lie flat. It now just looked messier than ever.

"Hi," I said, my heart beating too loudly. He made me so nervous.

We stared at each other.

"Er," he said, after a minute. "Do you want to… do something?"

I can think of lots of things we could do, Edward…

"I don't mind," I shrugged, my mind blank, apart from the thoughts that I shouldn't be having, which were back again.

He rolled his eyes, his weight shifting from foot to foot.

"OK," he said, somewhat impatiently. It occurred to me that his T-shirt was still damp and clingy, and my eyes refused to look away and stay away.

He caught me looking, unfortunately, and raised his eyebrows.

"Your T-shirt is wet," I blurted, hoping he wouldn't read too much into my staring. I mean, I _would_ have liked him to know that I liked him, but if he didn't feel the same… then I didn't want to feel vulnerable.

"What are you going to do about it?" he said, not breaking my gaze.

Rip it off you.

"I'm just saying," I stuttered, blushing. He was so freaking random. "You could catch a cold, or pneumonia…"

"You obsess too much," he cut me off, a faint smirk on his face.

If only you knew, Edward.

He sighed, and pulled the T-shirt over his head.

And then he was topless again, and it had never been so hard to stop myself from staring blatantly at something in my life.

"Happy now?" he asked, throwing the top on the ground.

You have no idea…

I made a weird noise in the back of my throat, and almost collapsed when he started towards me… but he was only heading for the dresser I was standing beside. I gawped at his muscular back as he rooted inside one of the drawers, and eventually pulled out a black T-shirt and threw that on, and I could breathe again. He turned to face me, and we stared at each other again.

"You're staring at me," he said, after a moment.

I blushed. "_You__'__re_ staring at _me_."

"I am not," he said, still staring at me.

"Yes, you are," I argued.

"You stared at me first."

That's because you had no T-shirt on.

"I didn't," I replied, wanting to laugh.

How freaking ridiculous.

He shook his head and folded his arms, sticking one leg out in front of him and leaning all his weight on the other. He was just a few feet away from me.

I could feel the tension and the static and _something_ in the space between us.

It was driving me crazy.

I wanted him closer.

We just continued staring at each other, and that something was building and building, and then it was just _intense_…

I couldn't quite breathe right.

He was just staring at me, his hair messy and his eyes almost black and his jaw clenching and unclenching…

And then he shifted all his weight onto his other foot, and he was suddenly much closer to me than before.

OhGodohGodohGod.

My breathing was shallow and almost embarrassing, but I couldn't find it in me to care because he was closer than he'd ever been to me, and oh my God, I was about to collapse…

He was still staring at me, his eyes moving slightly from left to right, as though he was trying to figure something out…

"BELLA! I THINK THE CLOTHES ARE DRY!"

Aw, crap.

We both jumped about three feet in the air, and immediately started clearing our throats and scratching at our heads and saying "er" and "right" and "well", and I left the room, crippled with awkwardness and embarrassment and disappointment.


	9. Yes, No, Maybe, I Don't Know

**_okay so first off this is Jen (best person ever) so I finally managed to get lea to update P.F.P.C . it took her a year to give me the disc and then my internet went but here we are with the next installment of the best story ever.. oh and also this chapter is freaking amazing I just read it haha. BE JEALOUS!!!_**

**Could it be? Is it she? Another chapter of PFPC??**

**LOL, that rhymed. Anyway, FINA-FRICKIN-LY, we have an update. I'm real sorry about the wait. It was a mixture of a completely effed computer, laziness, school, boys, and more laziness. But now all thanks to the fabulous Jen, we shall get this ball rolling again. The reviews have been ABSOLUTELY UNREAL, and I continue to be flabbergasted that anyone is even reading this. I love that you're enjoying it, and do be as patient as you can for the next chapter, I'll get it up ASAP. And so…**

**Chapter Nine: Yes, No, Maybe, I Don't Know**

I was in full hyperventilation mode.

Oh. My. Freaking. God…

I didn't want that moment to end. I wanted to stay there forever, until he finally made up his mind. He would have either taken another step forward, or a step back. It would have been that simple.

He was driving me demented. He was awkward one minute, then advancing on me all sexy and topless the next… I literally was going mad.

There's only so much a girl can take before her heart freaking explodes.

I hated how infatuated I was. I hated how much my mood depended on Edward Cullen; how happy I was when he passed me a note, how depressed I was when once again it looked like I was getting nowhere with him. I hated how hard he was to figure out. I hated how complicated this situation had turned out.

I mean, first we hated each other. He hated me, for no clear reason, and I hated him because he was a jerk. But now, we were kind of… not friends, but more like… a Maybe. That was it.

We were a big fat Maybe, and that Maybe was a full list of open possibilities.

Maybe we would be friends. Maybe more. Maybe less. Maybe we would end up being nothing. Maybe it would stay exactly like it was, in this awkward limbo of uncertainty.

Maybe things would change. Maybe they wouldn't.

I didn't freaking know, but I bet God was sitting up there on a cloud pissing himself laughing at me right now.

Thinking about him had become something I couldn't go a day without. Maybe that was pathetic, because he probably didn't even spare a thought for me at all. But I couldn't help the way I felt. Just like he couldn't help the way he made me feel.

I wondered what he would do if he knew. I wondered how he would react if he discovered that my stomach twisted whenever I was near him, how fast my heart began beating, how my mind went into overdrive, analysing everything he did and said and memorising it.

I was a girl obsessed.

It was unhealthy. I mean, there were other guys in the world. Ones that would actually smile at me and treat me like I was a _person_, not an alien. Maybe I would be better off if I went looking for one of them.

But I didn't want one of them. I wanted Edward. Don't ask me why, but I did.

I spent Sunday doing mundane chores and participating in conversation with Charlie. But I wasn't really there. I was lost in my daydreams, which were all totally realistic and impossible, but they kept me smiling, I guess.

* * *

Monday, school. Of course, I spent the day waiting for Biology to roll around. It had become my favourite class, and it was nothing whatsoever to do with the subject. Obviously.

I was nervous, and fidgeted in my seat as I waited for him to shuffle into the classroom. I wondered if he would react any differently to me now, especially after that little… _moment_. The Almost. Almost _what_, I have no idea, but it was an almost _something_.

I was sick of having moments. I wanted that something.

Edward walked into the room, and unconsciously became a runway model as he walked towards me. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his black leather jacket, and his beanie hat was back, his hair hanging in his eyes again. The trademark black skinny jeans and Converse were present, as was the moody expression.

He didn't look at me as he took his seat, and he slumped on the table straight away. I swallowed and gazed at my hands, which were scrunching the sleeves of my hoodie in my lap. OK, then.

He pretty much ignored me for the entire class. He didn't look at me or anything, and I was too scared to pass him a note, so there was no contact. At all.

We took one step forward and a million steps back.

I sat in my seat, crushed, and plastered a mask on my face. This was my problem with liking Edward. You never knew what you meant, where you stood… you just had to wait and see what mood he was in. It was killing me.

The class dragged on forever, and it was like torture. Another minute ticked by, and it was another minute in which I was ignored by Edward. It stung, a lot.

The bell rang eventually, and he just stood up and shuffled away, without so much as a glance. Nothing had changed. We were still nothing.

I wanted to give up.

Give up, and find something better to do with my time, other than to think about him. Take up some kind of hobby, anything that would distract me from my daydreams. Just… _anything_ other than this obsession, that hurt me more than it made me happy.

But I knew that I wouldn't ever give up on him, even if I tried.

I didn't believe he was worth giving up on.

On the way to school the next day, Katy Perry came on the radio, and I found myself singing along to Hot 'N' Cold. I wasn't a massive fan, but it cheered me up a little.

I even could see Edward in a brighter light. This whole situation wasn't completely _hopeless_. The only problem I could see was miscommunication. Maybe if we just _spoke_ to each other… I wanted to know what he thought about me. If he ever thought about me. I just wanted to know where I stood, and what I meant. That's all.

If I was nobody to him, then I could move on. Stuck in this state of uncertainty was hell, and I would rather not be guessing him all the time. I wanted to know.

I felt determined to talk to him today. I would be brave. I would be confident. I was on a mission to figure out what was going on inside Edward Cullen's head, before the mystery drove me insane.

He was already in his seat when I walked into Biology, a sort of quiff thing going on with his hair, and wearing a sexy white vest with a red and black tie. Drool-fest.

He was drawing a design on a piece of paper in black pen, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He was quite artistic, actually. But his gorgeous face was a work of art in itself.

I took a deep breath.

"Hi, Edward," I said, dumping my bag on the table.

He glanced at me in a sort of shifty way before returning his eyes to his drawing.

"Oh, hi," he said hoarsely, and cleared his throat as I sat down.

I fidgeted with the strap of my bag for a minute, unsure of how to start any kind of conversation. I pulled out my books and pencil case as I thought about it. And then out of nowhere, Edward made a growling noise in his throat as I put the fluffy abomination down on the table.

"Right, that's it," he muttered, and lunged for it.

In an uncharacteristically agile move, I managed to snatch it first, and clutched it to my chest.

"Now, now, Edward," I said. "If you want the pencil case that badly I'm sure we can share."

He glared at me. "I'm sick of looking at it. It's not good for my image."

I rolled my eyes. "I _care_ about tarnishing your emo image," I said sarcastically, and he continued to glare at me sexily.

"Give. Me. It."

"No," I said. "It's mine. I'll buy you your own one if you want it so bad."

"Ugh," he huffed. "I'll just suffer in silence then."

I wanted to laugh at what a drama he was making out of nothing. My heart was pounding and my skin was tingly, my usual reaction to whenever he bothered looking my way or actually speaking to me.

I wondered what his obsession with my pencil case was, but I wasn't too bothered with the answer. If a stupid fluffy pencil case gave him an incentive to talk to me, then I was so not going to complain.

He still looked all huffy and I was still holding the pencil case, trying not to grin.

And for some insane reason, I started making ridiculous aeroplane noises.

"Neeerrrm! Watch out, Edward, the pencil case is getting closer…" I warned, hovering the pencil case in midair.

Don't ask. I don't know. He makes me stupid.

"What are you doing?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

I ignored him, concentrating on making the pencil case fly around his head irritatingly. His eyes followed it, half-frowning, flickering back to me.

"Neeerrrm!" I said again.

Someone. Shut. Me. Up.

The corner of his mouth twitched.

OMG. He wanted to smile. Oh, I totally had to make him smile.

"You're being an idiot," he told me, rolling his eyes and attempting a glare, which he didn't quite manage to pull off.

"NEEERRRM!" I said, louder this time, and aimed the fluffy abomination straight for his gorgeous face.

"Bella!" he spluttered, knocking my arm out of the way.

I snorted with laughter and put the pencil case on the edge of the desk, out of his reach. He'd have to climb over me to get to it (ooh, I hope he attempted that, actually…), and I made sure the word PRINCESS was aimed directly at him. When I looked back at him, he was staring at me, faintly amused, and then it actually happened.

He smiled at me.

Gwah.

It was crooked, and perfect, and stunning, and _oh_… I imprinted it into my memory because I didn't think I was going to see anything more gorgeous in my lifetime. My hands went limp in my lap and my brain melted.

Mental note to self: aeroplane noises make Edward smile. Become an aeroplane.

His eyes were soft and crinkled and amused, and he rolled them before looking away, shaking his head, and slumped on the table over his drawing.

I was still staring at the spot where his face had been, when I realised Mr Banner had arrived and was giving orders. I shook my head too, trying to clear it.

I had to have imagined that, right? I literally could not remember where I lived. I was completely and utterly freaking dazzled.

I fanned myself with my hand. Flipping hell, it was warm in here.

I was quite disorientated for a while, but eventually it came to my attention that Edward had passed me a note, and I snatched it up, my heart still racing.

_Were you born immature or do you just act like it?_

Humph.

_Were you born bipolar or do you just act like it?_ I retorted.

He snorted at that, and I felt quite proud of myself. Score one to Bella.

_Shut up, I'm not bipolar._

_Oh, so you just act like it, then?_

_Like you can say anything about acting, Bella._

I frowned at the page. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

_Eh, what do you mean by that?_

_Nothing._

_You must mean something by it, or you wouldn't have said it, Edward_, I wrote, frustrated with him.

_Forget it._

_No._

_Let it go, would you?_

_No._

He sighed under his breath.

_If you don't quit bugging me, I'm not going to write back._

_Fine then_, I dared him. Inside though, I was terrified of losing any little piece of contact that I had with him.

He shoved the note in his pencil case and slumped on the table. I fidgeted with a pen, half listening to Mr Banner yammering away, my heart pounding.

Five minutes later, he grabbed the note back out of his pencil case and began scribbling furiously on it.

He passed it to me and I accepted it, breathing a sigh of relief.

_I really didn't mean anything by it, honest._

_Then why did you say it?_

_Because I'm stupid._

I smiled a little.

_Yeah…_

_Oh, shut up. Like you can say anything about stupidity._

_And what does _that_ mean?_

_Aeroplane much?_

_Oh right, _I wrote, blushing_. Just erase that from your memory._

_Why? It was funny._

_It won't be funny when I think about it tomorrow. _

_I think it will just get funnier to think about as time goes on._

_Please shut up. It's not funny._

_Yes, it is._

_No, it isn't._

_Don't argue with me, Bella. I'm always right. _

_Aha. Has that been scientifically proven yet?_

_Give it time._

I laughed to myself. Oh my God, _why_ could he just be like this around me all the time? Why couldn't we just laugh and joke to one another's faces? Why did we have to be so damn _awkward_? I didn't want to have to rely on paper and ink.

_I'll wait then._

I sighed quietly. I'd always wait on him, even though it broke my pathetic little heart.

He was in the middle of writing back when the bell rang, and he just shoved the note into his pencil case and started gathering up his stuff. I felt a little depressed. Maybe I was the bipolar one. One second, I was on such a terrific high because Edward wasn't ignoring me today, and the next, I was plummeting from it because I had no guarantee that he wouldn't ignore me tomorrow.

I was constantly delighted and disappointed, a vicious circle of highs and lows and yeses and nos and hot and cold…

I was shocked out of my depressed stupor by Edward right in front of my face.

"Are you OK?" he asked, frowning slightly.

"YesI'mfine," I said, way too fast, struggling to recover.

"What?" he asked, his frown more pronounced.

"I'm fine," I said, and his expression cleared a little.

"OK," he muttered.

We stared at each other. The room was emptying around us and I was half hoping we could have another little intense moment, but I was also curious. Why was he still here? Why hadn't he shuffled off like he usually does at the end of class?

What was going on in that confusing little emo head of his?

"What-?" I began.

"I'm-" he began at the same time, and we both stopped.

"You go," I said, a little breathless.

"No, you first." He shook his head.

"No, really, you first," I insisted, and he hesitated.

"Look, I just… I'm sorry… if I act like an asshole… to you… sometimes… but I just… I don't…" he stopped, scowling, running his fingers through his hair, frustrated. Then he just walked away without finishing his sentence.

I stared after him, wondering if I'd ever know what he was about to say.

**review people lol**


	10. He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me?

_okay people we have another wonderful chapter of PFPC whichi I the awesome JEN am updating and lea is so in touble for not mentioning me in this authors note... hehe.. enjoy_

**Author's Note: Neeerrrm. Another PFPC update! :D I'm getting back into the swing of it, haha… so, the reviews were frickin' unbelievable - the enthusiasm for this story is so amazing - you're all so funny and random and awesome. OK, so here's some stuff that I have recently decided: there WILL be an Edward POV, quite possibly next chapter (hurrah!). And, not to alarm any of you, but this won't be one of those stories that drags on forever. Which is both good, as I can't procrastinate any longer, and bad, because then the story has to end L. But I'll give you warning! AND ALSO: I have found my emo Edward, in the form of the SEXY and DELICIOUS…: Adam Lambert. *fans self with hand*. If you don't know who he is, go check out the current season of American Idol, and shame on you… he's unbelievably hot, with the sexiest hair ever, and guyliner… DROOL… Right, I think I've rambled on enough for one day. Thank you millions for the reviews, and for reading, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Chapter Ten: He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me**

He didn't talk to me after that. Not even in a note format.

I couldn't think of anything that I had done wrong. Maybe I had inadvertently done something I wasn't supposed to do. I must have done. There was no stand out reason as to why he was ignoring me now.

I was sick of this. I was sick of tiptoeing around him, hovering on the thin line between despair and elation. I was sick of being that idiot, the one who was obsessed with Edward Cullen, the one Edward Cullen wasn't that interested in. I was sick of waiting for him. I was sick of liking him. I was sick of daydreaming about him. I was just so sick of it all.

Wednesday evening I spent in my room, listening to Paramore's _When It Rains_ over and over again. The tune just seemed to suit my mood, and I could relate some of the lyrics to the me-and-Edward situation. With the rain pelting off of my window, it just seemed like such an appropriate song choice.

Charlie came in at one point, interrupting my depressed musings about Edward.

"Hey, Bells," he said, standing awkwardly in the doorway. "Are you alright? You've been cooped up in here since you got back."

"I'm fine," I sighed.

He nodded, and bounced on the balls of his feet for a moment.

"That's quite depressing music you're listening to," he commented, listening to the song. "Are you turning into one of those emus?" he joked, clearly proud of himself for even having an idea of what he was talking about.

"I think you'll find the term is _emo_," I corrected, and he shrugged mildly, unconcerned that he had just asked me if I was turning into a large, Australian bird. "And nope, I'm not," I added, glumly. A certain emo had just sprung to mind, of course.

"I was talking to Carlisle Cullen today, actually," Charlie said randomly. "He was telling me all about his Edward fellow. Apparently, he's a bit of a… _emo_ himself! Have you seen him around school?"

Yeah, too much of him.

"Yeah, I have," I said carefully. "When were you talking to Carlisle?"

"At the hospital. I was following up on a case."

I was about to ask, but it was Forks; the case probably included someone falling over, or at the very worst, a car accident.

"So did he mention anything else about Edward?" I asked, trying not to sound too interested.

"Er…" Charlie scrunched up his nose, thinking, and took forever and a day to answer. "Not a whole lot, just that he's been a little withdrawn and terribly moody lately, and Carlisle thinks it's because of a girl."

My mouth was suddenly very dry.

"Oh?"

"Bella," Charlie grinned, his I-am-full-of-wisdom-and-knowledge tone now apparent in his voice, "there's only two things that will really depress a guy: his team not winning the league, or not being able to have the girl he loves." He winked at me, and I stared at him, my mouth hanging open.

Interesting.

Oh God. Must not think too much into this.

"I didn't know that," I said, a little breathlessly.

"You could fill a warehouse with what you don't know," he chuckled, and left the room, roaring laughing at his own joke. Normally I'd respond with something equally as witty, but I was too absorbed in my thoughts. Only two possible theories were running around in my head.

One: he liked a different girl who he couldn't have. How depressing. But I never saw him around any other girls, so I wasn't sure about that one.

Or two: he liked me. Eek. And he thought he couldn't have me.

How very wrong he was. Not a day goes by when I don't feel like throwing myself after him screaming "KISS ME! JUST FREAKING KISS ME, WOULD YOU?!"

When I woke up on Thursday morning, I didn't feel very positive. I was having one of those days where everything just seemed to be working against me. I burnt my toast. My hair refused to look normal. I realised I had forgotten about an essay due today. I tripped on the last stair and collided painfully with the table in the hall. There was bird crap on my windshield.

The day continued in this fashion, and for the first time, I walked into Biology in a bad mood. Usually, I was giddy with anticipation, but today, I didn't want to care. I didn't care what he was wearing. I didn't care what his hair looked like.

Well, I was trying not to care. I mean… what was the point? It's not like it made a difference. It's not like anything ever changed. I could care so much about Edward, and get nothing in return. I was just tired of disappointment. I didn't want to hurt anymore. I had to get over him, somehow. I had to try.

If it was me who he getting all moody and depressed over, I couldn't understand why he couldn't just tell me. He obviously didn't want to be with me, because if he did, he would have made a move by now. Dragging it out for so long was only hurting me, and I was sick of it.

Judging by the 'piss-off' he had stamped across his forehead, I wasn't the only one in a bad mood today. So maybe it was good, that I didn't get my hopes up. I would have only been disappointed further. I spared him only a glance as I sat down, feeling the 'talk-to-me-and-die' vibes radiating from him, and didn't even bother wondering what was up his ass today.

I didn't care.

Look at me, not caring.

He was in a foul mood, and I didn't care, because so was I.

We had so much in common…

Oh, shut up, brain. Now is not the time.

For the first time all semester, I actually discovered what the hell we were doing in Biology. I paid attention, mostly ignoring the little huffs and sighs coming from my left. I wondered if he was always so dramatic about things, and nodded to myself because I already knew the answer to _that_ question, and then I chastised myself, because wondering about Edward Cullen was not allowed.

He continued sighing in a highly irritating way, and I started to think he was doing it on purpose to get me to look at him, or pass him a note, and listen to his woes. Well, he could think again. I did not care, remember? Whatever was bothering him, I was sure it had nothing to do with me, because in his world, nothing was _ever_ to do with me. And that's why I didn't care.

It started to hurt, so I stopped thinking about it, and I chastised myself, because thinking about Edward Cullen was _definitely_ not allowed.

Grr. This was much harder than I hoped it would be. It was like he was all around me, thickening the air I was breathing, consuming my mind. Everything was him.

It was driving me crazy.

Because I was both ignoring him and painfully aware of him at the same time, I grew more and more tense as the class ticked on. The huffs from my left were getting heavier, suggesting I was not the only one feeling like a time bomb ready to go off.

I kind of felt like we were two overflowing tanks of gasoline, and all we needed was one spark to set us off.

When the bell rang, I nearly shot through the ceiling in fright. I sprang to my feet and started gathering my stuff, shoving my books and the fluffy abomination into my bag unceremoniously. Not completely sure why I was in such a rush, I grabbed the strap of my bag and prepared to swing it over my shoulder, but not before I whacked it off something solid.

"Ouch!"

Oh, please tell me I did not just hit Edward with my bag…

I wheeled around, and he had his arms wrapped around his torso, grimacing.

"Oh crap!" I exclaimed aloud. "I'm so sorry, I'm so clumsy…"

Ground, open up and consume me, _please_. Gah.

"Forget it," Edward tried to say, but it came out in a sort of high-pitched way. Oh God. I must have winded him. Ugh, I'm so stupid…

"Are you sure you're OK? Do you want me to come with you to the nurse? Will I carry your bag? Obviously I won't hit you with it, ha ha ha," I gabbled nervously, fidgeting.

"No, no," he protested, picking his bag up stiffly and avoiding my gaze. "I think you've hurt me enough."

Something about the way he said that made me pause.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Edward, at all," I said, and I wasn't sure if we were even talking about me hitting him with the schoolbag anymore.

"I believe you," he muttered, and indicated that I move out of his way, so that he could leave. My legs wanted to jump out of the way obediently, but I told them to stay. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted to talk to him.

Now that I had decided I wasn't ignoring him anymore, his appearance suddenly hit me like a bag of bricks. He looked totally gorgeous today, just as gorgeous as always. It looked like he had straightened the front of his hair, but spiked the back of it, to sexy effect. He was wearing a black shirt with red pinstripes, the first few buttons undone, his skinny black jeans and red Converse. And guyliner.

He was a _God_.

"Excuse me," he said, raising one eyebrow sexily, and I realised I had been staring at him for too long. I didn't move.

"Don't you think we need to talk?" I asked hesitantly. "You know… I mean…"

He glared at me. "Would you please get out of my way?"

His words were stabbing me, because I was making an effort and he was trying to leave. I should have just stuck to my original plan, and ignored him. Well, I couldn't go back now. I ploughed on bravely, because I _needed_ to get though to him, because I _couldn't_ go on guessing him anymore. It was too hard.

"Edward, I can't -"

"Bella," he interrupted, "why can't you just leave me alone?" He glared at me expectantly, and I was surprised he couldn't hear my heart breaking in two. I bit my lip.

"Because… I just want to know you," I said quietly, honestly.

"Why?" he demanded, looking almost livid. "Why would you _bother_ wanting to _know_ me? Nobody else does. I'm just that moody emo guy who says nothing and glares at everyone. People assume stuff about me, all because of the clothes I wear and the music I listen to. Why don't you just _assume_, Bella, like the rest of them?"

My mouth had fallen open, because I didn't think he had ever spoken for that length of time before, and his voice was so raw and angry and beautiful and all the little pieces of my heart still ached for him.

"Because I'm not them, Edward," I replied, my voice a bit shaky. "And in case you haven't noticed, I've been trying so hard to be your friend, but you don't even care. Why should I bother anymore?"

"You shouldn't," he snapped. "End of. See you around, Bella."

He turned away from me and waited for me to leave, and I stared at him, willing him to turn around, willing him to take back what he said, just willing there to be something, anything, _more_.

Please, don't let this be _it_.

I don't know what made me say it. Maybe it was because I still wasn't ready to give up on him.

"I should stay away from you, but I don't think I know how to," I murmured.

There. My heart, laid right out in front of him. He had it.

He _always_ freaking had it.

"See you around, Edward," I said, now terrified he would turn around and hurt me further. So I left.

"Are you OK?" Alice leant over the table and asked me, for maybe the millionth time. It was lunch, and I guess I was being more uncommunicative than usual. I felt highly anti-social, and I just wanted to wallow in my own depression.

"I'm fine," I lied, attempting a smile.

She sat back, somewhat pacified, and was immediately distracted by Jasper whispering in her ear. Emmett and Rosalie were making out quite publicly, which was the norm, and I stared at the table, praying the day would speed up, so that I could go home and sleep and forget.

With a piercing shriek, the chair next to me was pulled across the ground, and suddenly Edward was sitting in it.

I jumped at the noise, as did half the cafeteria, and gaped at him, as did half the cafeteria. His hair was slightly dishevelled, his cheeks were pink, and his eyes were a bit manic. He stared at me, into my eyes, and he appeared to calm down right in front of me. I was transfixed, confused, disorientated, and my heart was hammering in my chest.

Someone cleared their throat loudly, and we broke eye contact, turning our heads. Alice was staring at Edward with her eyebrows raised, as was half the cafeteria.

"Hello," she said to him. "Are you lost?"

He scowled at her, and turned in my direction again. I sat there, limp in my seat, unable to believe what was happening. I wasn't even sure _what_ was happening. But he had come after me, hadn't he?

"Hi," he said, and it seemed like such an anticlimax.

"Hi," I said, my mouth very dry.

"How are you?" he asked, running his fingers through his hair.

"Fine. What about you?"

"I'm fine."

Oh, this was ridiculous! We couldn't seriously talk _without_ a pen and paper, could we?!

Judging by the exasperated expression on his face, he had the same sentiments.

"I'm sorry," he said, after a pause. I held my breath, waiting to see if there was anything else he wanted to say, but after a moment I realised he was waiting for _me_ to say something.

"Are you?" I asked, unable to think of anything better.

"Yeah, really," he said, now staring at his hands.

"OK," I said, my heart totally ready to forgive him wholly and completely, but my head was holding me back. Who was to say that come tomorrow, everything would go back to the way it always was? I was never guaranteed change with Edward, no matter how much I hoped and wished for it.

He didn't look back up at me, or say anything else. I was stuck for words, also aware that Alice was scrutinising us from across the table. I fidgeted with my sleeve, racking my brains to try and figure out what came next.

I wanted to know how he felt about me. I needed to know that my feelings weren't just one-sided. He had to put me out of my misery and just tell me. I needed him to.

"What…?" I began, and he looked up at me, but I just couldn't say it. I didn't know how to.

His expression changed though, like he knew what I was going to say.

"Look," he said, and paused. I waited, my heart pounding, for him to finish his sentence. For the love of God, please let him actually finish a sentence. If he got up and walked away now, then I was done. There were only so many chances I could give the guy.

The seconds stretched on for eternities, and he just stared at me, and I just gazed back at him, and eventually, he spoke.

"I'm tired of trying to stay away from you," he said.

My breath caught.

We just stared at each other, and my heart was skipping beats and thudding painfully, and my mind was in a whirl, trying to figure out what this meant…

"Dudes!" boomed the unmistakeable voice of Emmett, and we jumped and immediately turned in his direction, as did half the cafeteria. "Party! My house! Saturday! Be there or be square!"

There was a little cheer, and going by Emmett's boasting, his parties were always events to look forward to. I watched him bragging away to the football team, Rosalie hanging off his arm, but I wasn't really paying attention. My mind was clouded. I felt like I was dreaming. This had to be some sort of surreal dream.

I turned back to Edward, who was watching me, and I met his beautiful jade green eyes. The corner of his mouth turned up slightly, and without warning he leaned towards me suddenly. My first thought was that he was going to kiss me, and my heart almost stopped completely, but no… he leant over to whisper in my ear, and I shivered as his breath blew against my skin.

"I'll see you later," he said, and before I could so much as blink, he had straightened up and was shuffling quickly out of the cafeteria. I stared after him, dazed.

Oh.

My.

Holyfreakingcrap.

"Er, Bella?"

I jumped, and realised Alice was gazing at me expectantly, her eyes wide with amusement and excitement.

"Huh?" I said, my brain still reeling from what just happened, and not yet ready to structure actual words and sentences.

"What the heck is going on between you and my brother?!"

I'd quite like to know the answer to that myself.

**Review hehe**


	11. I Want To Kill Mike Newton

**I'M BAAAA-AAAACK!!!**

**Hahaha. Miss me? So today is actually the first time I've been near a computer in a MONTH. Yep. No lie. How depressing is that? I'll tell you how depressing: REALLY depressing. So I went on fanfiction for the first time in forever, and guess what I saw? Over a thousand reviews for this little ole story!! AND I SCREAMED, LOUDLY. OMG! Thank you guys so much, never ever ever ever EVER expected that, what a fabulous surprise!! Btw, the reviews are SO AMAZING, seriously, I want to hug you all. **

**So, this chapter isn't even finished, it was improvised, written very quickly, I had no notes helping me, so I hope anyway it's up to all of yer standards. I just wanted to give ye something to read, since ye've been so good and patient and nice to me. Ye've every right to stop reviewing like. As for the next chapter, I've no clue when it will be up, as I am right in the middle of exams right now (UGH, THE STRESS) and after that I plan on, ahem, celebrating (PARTAAY) and plus the ole laptop is still up the proverbial creek. But I'll do my best ;)**

**Also, those annoying little 'review' comments at the end of the few previous chapters were not me, they were Jen. :P I find that annoying, personally :P :P :P. Review if you got time, that's what I say. But Jen... you know I care...lol. Eh, and just wanted to clarify, that it's ME who is writing this story, not me and Jen... someone got confused. Jen just updated for me, like the good saint-like woman that she is. Anyway, enough rambling, lets get to Edward!! Oh, and I am disgusted that Adam Lambert came second in American Idol. What the hell happened there?!!?!?!?! Flip's sake. THANKS AGAIN xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Chapter Eleven: I Want To Kill Mike Newton

I floated around in a sort of daze for the rest of school, in a dreamlike state. I couldn't concentrate on anything at all, which was not useful to anyone, especially in Gym. More people than usual were hobbling and clutching their heads when the bell went.

_I'll see you later._

All kinds of shivers went through me. He wanted to see me later.

_Me_. Later.

I was hyperventilating at the very thought.

Hmm…

How later was _later_, though? Was it like later as in after school, later as in this evening, or later as in… tomorrow? Or did he mean it in a casual "see you around" sort of way, which presented no actual time limitations and could mean later in the week?!

Gah.

I hoped he meant later as in after school. I'd even take this evening. But he could not, and I mean _not_, leave me hanging until tomorrow or any sodding time after that. You can't just tell a girl you're tired of trying to stay away from her and then stay away from her until you decide when it's _later_. That's just stupid.

Mm… he was tired of trying to stay away from me. I almost melted into a puddle of Bella when he said that.

I couldn't find anything in that sentence that I could have misinterpreted. He meant it the way he said it. He had been trying to stay away from me. But now he was tired of it. And that meant he wasn't going to stay away from me any longer, which was absolutely frickin' fine by me.

Oblivious to some of the slightly resentful glances being thrown my way after Gym, I changed quickly and hurried out, hoping to see Edward and remind him that he wanted to see me later, and make him realise that now was as good a time as any.

I burst through the Gym doors into the corridor outside, and skidded to a halt. Edward was there, pacing up and down, muttering to himself.

I just stood there, frozen with nerves and excitement and a bunch of other feelings that I couldn't quite get a handle on, watching him. He looked smoking hot, naturally, in his tight little jeans and a white shirt with a black waistcoat. His hair was a flop of sexiness and I struggled with a sudden urge to run my hands through it. I couldn't quite make out what he was muttering, but judging by the tone and the pacing, I kind of got the impression that he was… nervous.

Did I make Edward nervous?

I shivered slightly. Just the idea that I had any sort of an effect on him was craziness. I was still getting over the fact that I used to mean nothing to him at all. It felt bizarre, when I thought of how he used to hate me so much and refused to talk to me for days. Now, I cared about him so much and he was finally starting to reciprocate these feelings, and the memory of it having not been like this at all… it hurt.

I coughed to get his attention, and he wheeled around, ceasing his muttering abruptly.

"Hi," I said.

"Oh. Hi."

"Hi," I repeated, like an idiot, panicking because I couldn't think of anything else to say. I could feel the blush rising in my cheeks.

"Yes," he said. "Hi."

I stopped myself from saying hi again, and we just stared at each other for a minute. What came next? What did we have to do now?

He was clenching and unclenching his jaw and staring at me with hooded eyes, looking all sexy and scrumptious, and I was waiting, my heart thumping loudly, when he just held out his hand to me.

I stared at it, paralysed with anxious excitement, and I was just about to accept it when the majority of my Gym class bustled out of the door, discussing weekend plans and the body odour of someone or other. I was jostled out of the way slightly, and Edward dropped his arm immediately and moved to let people by. I waited impatiently for them all to hurry up and move out of the way, when someone suddenly called my name.

"Bella, hey!" It was Mike Newton. Mike was nice; ever since I hit him in the face with a volleyball he had always made a point of starting up little conversations with me.

"Hi, Mike," I said distractedly, craning my neck to see where Edward had gone.

"I was hoping I'd catch you," Mike went on, oblivious. "Listen, I was wondering, if you're not doing anything at the weekend…"

I stopped my Edward Hunt as Mike's words reached my ears. I looked at him, and he was all earnest and shy and hopeful, and my voice died away.

"Bella, I'd love it if you -"

There was a snort, and we both jumped and looked around. We were practically on our own in the corridor now, apart from Edward, who was standing watching us with a sneer on his face. My heart jumped into my throat.

Lord that guy was sexy when he was angry.

"What?" Mike asked him, and Edward threw him a glare that could easily wilt flowers.

"Oh, don't mind me," he said. "The irony is just killing me, is all."

Poor Mike didn't know what to say after that, and I figured it would be best to take control of the situation before it ran away from me.

"Er, sorry, Mike, but I'm in a sort of rush…" I trailed off pointedly.

"Oh!" Mike said, scratching at his head. He opened his mouth, and then frowned, and looked over his shoulder at Edward, who was gazing at him murderously.

"Eh, can I talk to Bella on her own, please?" Mike asked, tentatively.

"No," Edward said. "I have every right to stand here in this corridor at this present moment."

I had an almost overwhelming urge to laugh.

"OK, then," Mike muttered, annoyed. He turned back to me, rolling his eyes as if to say _what a freak_. I felt a stab of annoyance.

"So, Bella," Mike said, pretending Edward wasn't there. "I was wondering if you… wanted to go out with me sometime?"

Edward stiffened behind him, and I was surprised his glare wasn't burning a hole through Mike.

I blushed at the ridiculousness of the situation and looked down awkwardly. "Eh, well, thank you for asking me, Mike, and I would love to go but I'm kind of… interested in someone else. I'm sorry," I said sincerely, to his face.

"Oh," he said, disappointed. "Are you sure?"

"She's interested in someone else. Deal with it."

Mike wheeled around, furious.

"Excuse me, but what business is this of yours, Cullen?"

"Mind your own business."

"I'll make it my business if you don't -"

"Hello?" I said nervously, not wanting things to get any more heated than they already were. They both stopped bickering, and Mike seemed to have had enough of his current situation.

"Right. I'm going home," he said.

"Bye!" Edward said sarcastically.

Mike threw him a glare strong enough to match one of Edward's best, and stormed away. I watched him go, fidgeting. When I looked back at Edward, he was glaring at me instead.

"What?" I demanded.

"What?" he retorted.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm not looking at you like anything."

"Yes, you are. You have your serial killer expression on your face."

"Well, I want to kill Mike Newton."

"Why? What did he do? And you didn't have to be so rude to him before, either."

"Sorry, I didn't meant to upset your BFF."

"Edward, you're being immature."

"I am not."

"You are too."

"I am not."

I sighed exasperatedly. God, he could be so annoying. I just stared at him in a hoity-toity way, and he glared back at me for a while, but eventually his expression began to soften, and he dropped his gaze onto the ground.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"It's fine," I said, anxious to let this go and pick up where we left off earlier. I waited, and he eventually spoke again.

"Bella…?" he asked, hesitantly.

"Yes?" I said eagerly.

"Were you just saying that to Mike so that he'd leave, or did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"That you were interested in someone else…?"

"Edward," I said, as though I were speaking to a four year old child. "Is it not fairly obvious by now who I'm interested in?"

He grinned suddenly, and my heart nearly stopped.

"I suppose," he agreed, his eyes alight with a spark I had never seen there before. He eyed me for a moment, and I stared back, trying not to collapse with nerves and excitement. With a slight smirk, he held out his hand to me again, and I didn't hesitate this time. His hand held mine tightly, as though he never wanted to let go.

He started walking, and I let myself be towed along, my skin tingling.

Oh my freaking God, he was holding my hand.

_My_ hand. Holding it.

I was almost overwhelmed with all kinds of good feelings, as well as the nerves and anxiety. I was afraid I'd say something stupid, I was afraid this was a dream and any minute now I would wake up, I was afraid this was all a cruel joke orchestrated by the entire school, I was afraid that he would disappear and I would be grasping thin air… I was afraid I'd lose him, for whatever reason. Amidst all the good, happy feelings, there was that fear.

I took a few breaths, and tried to keep my head.

I had been entertaining fantasies of Edward whisking me away to someplace fabulous, but I was getting ahead of myself. He brought me to the school car park. Almost everyone had left, apart from the few stragglers and loiterers, who kept throwing glances our way. I tried to keep a neutral expression, as though Edward holding my hand was an everyday occurrence.

I wish.

I hope…

I was dying to know what he was planning, and I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"Where are we going?"

He looked at me. "Where do you want to go?"

_Anywhere, as long as you come with me._

"I don't mind," I said, leaving the decision up to him.

"Right," he said. "I just had a thought."

"Did it hurt?" I joked.

He rolled his eyes.

* * *

He brought me to a meadow.

Well… I almost died before we made it. The energy between us was pulsating in the car, and I used all my willpower not to pounce on him, even though I really wanted to. I was practically dying from excitement and nerves, wondering where he was taking me, and wondering what could happen when we got there.

And then there was this ridiculous trek through the forest before we reached the damn meadow, and I made quite a holy show of myself. If there was a branch or a large stone in my path, and even if I tried to avoid it - even if I walked fifty yards away from it to avoid it - I ended up tripping over it. I fully expected Edward to tease me or just decide that I was too much of a hazard to be with, but he kept helping me up and holding my hand and throwing me small smiles.

We didn't speak, for the entire journey. I was waiting for him to say something first, because I knew that if I made up my mind to speak first, something stupid would come out.

"_So, nice weather, huh?"_

"_Do you come here often?"_

"_Mike Newton works in a shop."_

"_Do you know where the toilets are?"_

They were all frightening possibilities, so keeping my mouth shut was just vital.

When we arrived at the meadow, I was intrigued. It was so pretty and picturesque, and I wondered how he found it. I wondered why he brought me here. All I could really think of was the fact that we were in a meadow in the middle of nowhere all by ourselves, and my brain was going haywire with all the possibilities.

Of course… he could still hate me. This could be some master plot to get me on my own in the middle of nowhere, and I had walked right into it. Maybe he was planning to murder me.

Oh, just shut up, brain.

He lay on the ground, doing nothing to quell the urge I still had to jump on top of him. I stared at him for a moment, taking in the sexy clothes, and his thoughtful face; his green eyes, which were staring up at the sky, transfixed.

And I lay down beside him.


	12. Impossible Is My Middle Name

**I decided to spoil ye with another chapter, because yer all so amazing. So instead of studying today, I wrote this. :D My laptop has mysteriously decided to start working again (technology really knows how to push my buttons, grrrrz), so I'm enjoying it while it functions. Haha. The reviews were totally fabulous, thanks a million, and HEY to all my little Adam Lambert fans, who are just as outraged as I am ;). Kris was cute and all... but Adam was... a God. To me. lol. I'm gunna say hi to Eimear and Jen too, heh heh :D. Anyway, enjoy this! I hope ye like it: in the book the meadow is where everything is confessed, so I thought loosely following that concept would be cute... ;) Those who are anxious for the kissing scene... patience, my dears. It's worth it. :D HAWT. Anyway, til next time ;) xXxXx**

**Chapter Twelve: Impossible Is My Middle Name**

The sky was clear and pale blue, stretching out over our heads and reminding us of how small we really were. The ground was cold against my back, and the breeze whistling through the trees wasn't exactly tropical, but I didn't feel the chill. The spark between Edward and I was hot enough to erupt volcanoes, I liked to think.

He didn't speak for a while, yet I was happy to just lie there with him. Who wouldn't be happy to lie with a God?

It was kind of sad to think that whatever he wanted, I would go along with. I told myself it was just for now. If Edward Cullen planned on taking any more control over me, Bella Swan wouldn't exist any more. He already had my heart, my head, my dignity, my _sanity_… if there was any minute chance that we could be together, he would not be allowed to dictate this relationship. It would mean too much to me, for me to just sit back and go along with whatever he was happy with.

That was what relationships were about, right? I mean, one person just doing everything the other person did… that's not the way it should be. Relationships are built on trusting and respecting the person you're with, despite flaws and eccentricities and the like. You were supposed to work together on making each other happy.

Maybe I was romanticising relationships too much. My parents had never been the best example for me. My mother had been adventurous, my father preferred the quiet life. What if Edward and I were too different?

I decided then and there to just wing it. I couldn't predict the future, or what was to happen with Edward. I would fight the battles when I had to.

I wasn't sure why I was analysing things. Maybe it was because I wanted this to be perfect, with Edward. I wanted to be with him. I wanted everything I had been thinking about, all the daydreams and the fantasies, all the longing I had endured ever since I sat next to him in that Biology class on my first day of school.

"Bella…?" Edward spoke softly, and it was nothing like the surly growl I was used to. I was immediately pulled out of my thoughts, suddenly alert.

"Yes?"

Edward exhaled, and I waited as patiently as I could for his response. I wished I could see his face, but looking up into the sky was easier.

"I think… I've been a sort of jerk."

I smiled a little. "Only slightly."

My heart was pounding. Was this confession time? I really wanted to get inside Edward Cullen's head; in fact, I was dying to know what he thought about things, and more importantly, what he thought about _me_.

"I'm sorry," he said, and it sounded like he meant it. "I just… don't really have an excuse."

"It's OK," I said, because it was.

"It's not," he protested, obviously hung up on this. "I know I hurt your feelings in countless different ways, maybe in more than you ever let on."

There was no way in hell I was going to admit to that, despite the truth in it.

"Well… I'm not innocent either. I was a bitch to you."

Edward made a dismissive-type noise. "You were only reacting to _me_…"

"OK," I said decisively, anxious to get off this topic and not have him feeling any worse than he seemed to be already, "let's just agree that we were both idiots?"

"I was the bigger idiot."

"No, you weren't, you big idiot."

He snorted, amused, and then sighed. There was a silence, broken only by the sound of the wind rustling the trees around us, and our breathing. My heart was racing, unable to believe we were having _this_ conversation. I had pictured how this conversation would go countless times. This was _the_ conversation.

There was so much I wanted him to tell me, so much I wanted to know. There was a lot that I _needed_ to know.

I just didn't know whether or not I had the courage to ask him.

I waited for a while, to see if he wanted to say anything else, but he was silent. Maybe he was waiting for me to say something this time. It was now or never, I guess. I had an opportunity to really talk with him now, and I didn't know when that might ever happen again. If there was stuff I wanted to know, now was probably the right time.

"Edward?" I asked nervously.

"Yeah?"

"Why… did you hate me so much?"

"I never hated you," he said immediately.

"But…" I said, confused.

"I didn't know _you_. I didn't know who you were. I hated the person I thought you were, not the person you _are_."

I paused, taking this in. "Who did you think I was?" I asked quietly.

I felt Edward shrug beside me. "I don't know. I thought you were superficial. I thought you were unoriginal and boring and like every other girl at that school. I thought you were another version of Alice, who was spoilt and obsessed with pink and Justin Timberlake… I mean, when I heard there was a new girl, I admit I was curious like everybody else, and I was kind of hoping to be surprised, you know? Maybe you were quirky and interesting and something unexpected, but then you pulled out that ridiculous atrocity of a pencil case and I just resigned myself to the fact that you were just like everybody else, without waiting to see if there was _more_."

He stopped for breath, and I waited, spellbound by the sound of his voice. I had never heard him talk for this length of time, and the sound of his voice when he wasn't growling or muttering or shouting or grumbling… it was musical and chocolaty and velvety and I could listen to it forever.

He moved, and I turned my head; he was now sitting cross-legged on the grass, facing me. I sat up too, my eyes drinking in his handsome face. He was frowning and fiddling with the laces on his Converse, and his expression was too clouded for me to really understand. I wished I could figure out what he was feeling, so it would help me understand him.

"You are impossible, Bella," Edward said suddenly. "I mean, seriously."

"What?"

The man was speaking English but I didn't have a clue of what he was saying to me.

"You're just impossible. You were impossible to like, to figure out, to understand, to ignore…"

_Pot, kettle, black._

He noticed my bewildered expression, and took a deep breath.

"Let me explain. When I saw you sitting with Alice at lunch, it just confirmed my suspicions. You were just a typical girl. My first impressions of you were not helped when I heard you bitching about me to Alice -"

I blushed, cringing inwardly.

" - and then all of a sudden, you were listening to Linkin Park. I couldn't believe it. Girls who were friends with Alice didn't listen to Linkin Park. So I thought you were trying to change, so that I'd approve of you, and I couldn't get over how superficial you were. It really pissed me off how you could pretend to like something that you didn't really like. I tried to call you out on it…" he scratched at his head in apparent embarrassment. "You made it obvious that you were a real fan of the band, and I just stood there feeling like an absolute clod… when you whipped me in the face with your hair -"

I blushed again. He wasn't going to relive all the embarrassing things I did around him, was he?

" - I felt like I deserved it. But your hair… it smelt like strawberries. And after that I couldn't get your damn _scent_ out of my head…"

My heart was throwing itself against my ribcage now. My breathing was a little uneven too, and my brain was whirling with everything he was saying. It was intense, inside Edward Cullen's head. But I wanted to stay there.

We both looked up at the same time and caught one another's eyes. It did nothing to help my poor heart, which began skipping beats. His eyes were so green, and piercing, like they could see right through me. It was a pity he hadn't been able to see _me_ at the start… we were both fools. I had given off the wrong impression of myself, and he had judged too early.

"I convinced myself though," he said quietly, "that we were different types. We couldn't be friends, or anything else. We wouldn't work. Once I decided this, I couldn't understand why it _got_ to me…" he rolled his eyes. "When I saw you with James at that party, I don't know what happened. I freaked out. I hated you for confusing me and making me feel like I did, but I always wanted to protect you from that asshole, and I just… couldn't help myself. But when you said that you thought _I _was confusing and infuriating and everything… I wondered where we both missed the signs, you know?"

I nodded, because I knew what he meant. How the hell did we manage to get everything so wrong?

"I didn't know how to explain myself to you. I didn't know how to talk to you. I wanted to tell you, that I _wanted_ you to understand me, I wanted you to _know_ me. Which is why I sang you that Goo Goo Dolls song when you tried to leave my room that day."

That was quite possible my favourite Edward-moment ever. It's not everyday in which you're sung to by a God.

"I know I was sarcastic and grumpy with you all the time, but it's only because I didn't have a clue of what to say," he said, his eyes apologetic. I smiled at him, because none of that mattered now. He was here, in front of me, and now I finally understood him.

This whole moment was drenched in impossibility. It was like some sort of dream. Edward was sitting in front of me, looking more like a God than anybody had any right to, and he was actually _talking_ to me. There was nothing in his expression, his tone, to suggest that he still didn't like me, or want to be with me.

Or murder me, like I thought earlier.

"You're still impossible," he said, but now his eyes were amused. "You're like a song, a really annoying song that is constantly stuck in my head, and impossible to get rid of."

"Oh, thanks," I scoffed, rolling my eyes. Inside though, my heart swelled at his words. Was that his way of saying I was impossible to stop thinking about?

Oh, I really, really hoped so.

He grinned at me, and I nearly stopped breathing. His smile was seriously dangerous - it was too unbelievable for words. It played havoc with my heart rate.

I watched as he stretched his hand towards me, slowly, as though he was unsure. I realised he was reaching for _my_ hand, so I held it out. Our fingers had barely grazed each other's skin, when Edward's cell phone rang suddenly. He pulled away, rolling his eyes, and reached into the pocket of his jeans.

"What? No. Yes. Fine."

After an extremely short conversation, he hung up the phone and sighed, starting to get up.

"That was Mom. I've got to go home."

"OK," I said, disappointed, and struggled to my feet.

Edward threw a set of keys for me to catch, and I, of course, dropped them.

"Will you be alright to find your way back to the car? If I cut through these trees I'll be home much quicker," he said, cocking his head to one side in the most adorable way, gesturing in a random direction.

Panic set in. "Oh, yes, sure," I lied, hurriedly picking up the keys. "No problem."

Oh my God. I was going to be trapped in this forest forever. My sense of direction didn't exist.

Edward smiled and shook his head. "I'm just joking, Bella."

"Oh right," I said, following it with a slightly hysterical laugh. _Thank God_.

He wasn't paying any attention to me, thankfully, because he was looking at the phone in his hand with a peculiar expression on his face. He looked up at me, then back at the phone, and looked up at me again, and smirked.

"You know what? I've totally forgotten my phone number. Can I have yours?"


	13. One New Message From: Edward Cullen

**OK, so my bad. I updated yesterday, but there was random annoyances with the chapters, so if you've found that you haven't read chapter twelve of this story, entitled "Impossible Is My Middle Name", go back two chapters and do so before you read this! Sorry for the confusion, people, whoops!! :-/**

**So a few things to say: the reviews are amazing, as are you lot. I know this chapter is short, but I've no free time anymore to write long ones, so please just put up with it, it will mean faster updating :D. Jen would like everybody to know that the expression 'mouth-rape' is copyrighted to her alone, lol. And, as you'll find out, Edward and Bella are texting in this chapter, but I decided not to make it txt tlk, lyk dis, coz it cn b annoyin 2 read nd so i jus didnt bthr wit it. :) (I admit I'm guilty for sins such as leaving out vowels when I'm texting) Anywhoo, read on... I love this chapter, personally ;) xXxXx**

**Chapter Thirteen: One New Message From: Edward Cullen**

I found myself lying on my bed later that day, an incredibly goofy smile on my face, texting Edward.

I know it was a completely cheesy pick-up line, but come on… the guy pulled it off. Of all the guys in the universe, only Edward could make that work. I gave him my number, as would any sane girl in my situation, pick-up line or not. Duh.

My stomach was full of butterflies as we walked back to the car. His mood had changed, and he was a lot more… _touchy_. Every time I tripped he put his arm around my waist to steady me, but he left it there. It was step on from hand-holding, definitely.

Was I complaining? Hell to the no.

We got back to the car and he drove me home. For the entire journey we just talked, mainly about music. He kept throwing out the names of really obscure and random bands, and was continuously impressed by the fact I knew who they were.

And he kept smiling at me. That gorgeous, dazzling smile.

I was almost on the edge of my seat when he pulled into my driveway, because we were going to be saying goodbye, for now. I felt really disappointed and depressed that I didn't have more time with him, but I was trying to stay positive. I had really made progress with him today, and I couldn't wait to see what happened next.

I wondered would he kiss me.

Oh wow. I really wanted him to kiss me goodbye. That would seriously just be… beyond words. I had been thinking about and imagining and anticipating kissing Edward for what felt like forever, and for it to become a reality might be just the best thing ever. The next best thing to being in a relationship with Edward would definitely be kissing him. Oh hell yes.

Edward parked the car, but didn't do or say anything immediately, so I opened the car door, feeling a little deflated.

"Bella?"

I looked over my shoulder eagerly, and he was smirking.

"I'll text you," he said, winking. Oh my God, he made winking so hot. Was there anything he _couldn't_ do that _wasn't_ sexy? I doubted it. He could probably throw up in front of me, and I'd find it devastatingly hot.

"Kinky," I joked, laughing. He joined in, running his fingers through his hair. I loved the sound of his laugh too. "I'll talk to you later then?" I asked, and I hated how unsure I sounded.

"You will," he said, and his eyes were warm and crinkled at the edges and he was just so cute. I had to get out of the car before I mouth-raped him.

"OK," I smiled, and climbed inelegantly out of the car, already missing him.

I was jittery and jumpy all day, and kept checking my phone for messages every three seconds. Charlie must have thought I was deranged, but he didn't ask. I was lying on my bed, glaring at the ceiling, wondering if I had perhaps called out the wrong number to him, when my phone finally vibrated and gave me a heart attack.

One New Message From: Edward

I hugged my phone before opening the message.

_Hi. What are you doing?_

I stared at the message excitedly, torn between replying with something sarcastic, or telling the truth. _Oh, I was just waiting impatiently on a text from you_. God, how pathetic would I sound? So I decided to be sarcastic.

_I'm setting up a shrine to you in my attic. What are you doing?_

I read it a few times before I sent it, exhaling slowly. Texting a guy should not be this nerve-wracking. This was borderline ridiculous.

Edward was worth it, though.

He replied straight away.

_I'm outside your bedroom window with binoculars and night vision goggles :D_

I laughed.

_Hope you're having fun out there ;)_

_I'd be having more fun if I was inside your room ;)_

My heart did a funny jump. Oh my God. Edward was flirting with me. I had a mad urge to laugh hysterically and jump up and down on the bed. I beamed at my phone, rejoicing.

_I have no idea what you mean…_

_Yeah, you do ;)_

I grinned hugely, blushing. I bit on my lip, wondering what to text back to that. I personally thought I was useless at flirting, but hopefully if I just reacted to what he said first, I'd be alright.

_You'll have to tell me what you mean ;D_

I hope he didn't think I was stupid. I panicked slightly. It was hard to miss the implications in his flirty little texts, and I just hoped he knew it was my attempt at flirting back. And not me being intellectually retarded.

My phone vibrated happily with his next text message, and I opened it anxiously.

_Why should I when you already know? :P_

I giggled with relief.

_Maybe I just want to hear you say it :)_

I waited, my stomach twisting with nerves and excitement, for his next text.

_Say what? That I want you? ;)_

My eyes widened. My heart was speeding up now. Many ideas for my next text were jumping into my head, but I just decided to go with a joke, my mouth dry.

_I hope you're not gonna start sending me dirty messages, Cullen :P :D_

I just hoped he realised I meant it as a joke. I hoped he also realised I was only avoiding his question because I was just unsure. With texting, I didn't know if he was just teasing me or if he meant it.

_Not unless you want me to, Swan :P ;D_

I grinned again. This was so much better than passing notes. _Way_ better.

_Haha ;D_, was all I texted back, not having an iota of what to say after his last message. I decided to let him lead the conversation, make the first moves. God knows I'd been waiting long enough for him to do that.

_What are you thinking?_

I blinked a couple of times at his random new text.

_What am I thinking about what?_

_About me?_

I thought about it for a moment, but I decided on just being honest.

_I'm thinking it's surreal that I'm texting you right now ;)_

_I know what you mean. I should have asked you for your number ages ago. Or stolen it off of Alice :P_

_Yeah, then you wouldn't have needed to resort to that awful pick-up line :P_

_What are you talking about?! That was smooth!_

_And cheesy ;P_

_You know you liked it ;)_

_I did ;D_

_See? Ha!_

_It doesn't mean it wasn't a bad pick-up line though ;P_

_I wanted to ask you for your number and it was the only thing I could think of to say :P_

_What about: can I have your number??_

_Oh shut up. You just don't appreciate charm :P :P :P_

_Pick-up lines aren't charm. You get them off of the internet :P :P :P_

_You know a lot about it…_

_What are you implying…?_

_Nothing… ;) Can I ask you a question?_

_Go ahead :)_

_Do you sleep on your stomach?_

I frowned. What the hell?

_Eh. No…_

_Can I? ;)_

_Lol. Edward, that was just as bad, if not worse!_

_Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha_

_Stop laughing at your own crap pick-up lines! :P_

_I'm laughing at you._

_Oh stop._

_Make me._

_Don't test me._

_I'd like to see you try._

_Fine then. I'll show you._

_Fine then. Show me what not to do :P_

I realised that my jaw was hurting from smiling so much.

_Ooh, bitchy._

_You know it ;)_

_Everyone knows it. You're the school bitch :D_

_That makes me sound gay_

_Lol. Well maybe if you didn't glare all the time, people would think you were the nice guy that I know you are, underneath all the emo ;)_

_I don't care what people think. I only care what you think._

My breathing caught a little.

_Why is my opinion so important?_

_Because you are important._

Oh my God. I was important to him. He thought I was important. He only cared what I thought. Once again, it struck me how intense Edward Cullen was.

_When did I become important?_

I couldn't help it. I wanted to know. I waited for his text, realising how dark my room had become, the only light coming from the screen of my phone. I was just about to get up and switch on a light when he texted back, and I forgot about everything else.

One New Message From: Edward

_Ever since I realised that I'm crazy about you._

I stopped breathing.


	14. Won't Look At That Couch In The Same Way

**ANOTHER UPDATE? SURELY NOT?!?!**

**haha. I'm really supposed to be studying, but me and the laptop are making up for lost time. lol. Ok, so the reviews - OH MY GIDDY AUNT!! WTF?! HOW UNBELIEVABLE ARE ALL OF YE?! I mean, day-um... you guys really know how to make my day XD. Especially Eimear, ;D lol. So anyway, THIS CHAPTER ;) ;) ;) is the one you've been waiting for. Hope you enjoy it, coz I certainly enjoyed writing it ;) heh heh. I think there'll be another few chapters, so this isn't the end of this story yet :D enjoy! xXx**

**Chapter Fourteen: Won't Look At That Couch The Same Way...**

I just stared at the message, reading it and rereading it over and over again. It wasn't sinking into my head.

I didn't know what to say back. I couldn't make a joke or be sarcastic, because this wasn't supposed to be funny. I had only ever imagined him saying something like that to me, and now that he had… I could barely believe it. It was too impossible for words.

But I didn't want to say _I'm crazy about you too_, because I felt he already knew that. I had given him so many hints, and if he didn't already know, then I didn't know what else I could do. I just stared at the phone screen, stunned.

I started to panic a little, because I realised that if I took too long to text back he'd think that he had said the wrong thing, and it was the total opposite. So I just texted back the only thing I could think of.

_Ditto_

I waited for his next text, my brain still trying to process what this was going to mean. He was crazy about me, and I was crazy about him. This was more than friendship, it had to be.

He texted back quickly.

_That's all I need to know._

I frowned.

_What do you mean?_

All he needed to know about what? I didn't get it.

And then he didn't text me back.

I waited for a half an hour, but it was painfully clear to me that he wasn't going to text me back. I threw my pyjamas on, disappointed, and buried myself under the duvet, hoping my dreams would be void of Edward Cullen.

* * *

I was woken the next morning by Charlie telling me he was going fishing and wouldn't be back until the evening.

"'K," I mumbled sleepily, and listened as he left the house, drifting in and out of consciousness. The previous night then hit me like a sledgehammer, and I lunged for my phone, injuring myself in the process by somehow banging my head off of the headboard.

My head collapsed back onto the pillow and I opened one eye to see if there were any messages on my phone.

Nothing. Nil. Zero. Zilch.

I sighed, and threw the phone in the random direction of the bedside table, closing my eye.

I hoped things would become clearer, but he was still just as confusing as ever. I thought about school tomorrow, seeing him in Biology. I just couldn't see it. I had no idea what was going to happen.

I sighed again, loudly. Well, I had a boring Sunday to get through; I might as well get out of bed and do something productive. Like eat.

I slouched downstairs in my Batman slippers into the kitchen, and stared at the contents of the fridge for a few minutes, before remembering it was the milk I wanted. I helped myself to cereal and sat at the table, wondering how I would amuse myself for the day. I could hardly wait around for Edward to text me.

I was adamant I wouldn't text him first. I would only say something stupid and regret it the minute I sent it. I didn't want to look desperate. I wanted him to like me just as much as I liked him, and if we were supposed to be together, then it would happen. I just didn't want to make all the first moves, because I wanted to know that he wanted it too.

Ugh. I couldn't let myself get back into the habit of obsessing over Edward Cullen. That would just be pathetic. I needed a distraction.

After breakfast, I wandered into the living room with a packet of strawberry-flavoured sweets. I put on a movie and sprawled out across the couch, only half watching it. I couldn't stop thinking about him, or checking my phone.

Pathetic.

But, I mean… how could you possibly figure him out? He told me he was crazy about me, and then… nothing. I didn't know what to do, what to think, at all.

The doorbell rang suddenly, and I jumped. I heaved myself off of the couch, grumbling to myself. I had no idea who it was, but I hoped they'd go away; I wasn't in the mood for company.

I opened the front door, and gaped.

It was Edward freaking Cullen.

"Hi," he said, his eyes amused. I could only stare. He was wearing a black shirt with his usual black jeans and Converse, and his hair was in a beautiful state of disarray. The most surprising thing about him, other than the fact that he was standing on my doorstep, was that his expression wasn't hostile, or grumpy, or moody… he looked perfectly at ease, as though he regularly showed up on my doorstep.

"Hum," I said nervously, intending on saying 'hi' or something along those lines, but I couldn't seem to snap out of my trance. This had to be some sort of dream, right?

My heart began to race as I watched Edward's eyes look me up and down, and he raised one eyebrow.

"Nice," he said, and I blushed, remembering what I was wearing. My pyjamas, which consisted of black shorts and a vintage-style tank top. And Batman slippers.

Gah.

Thank God I shaved my legs the other day, anyway.

"Er, what are you doing here?" I asked, anxious to get the attention away from what I was wearing. He was smirking sexily at me, and there were rioting butterflies in my stomach. "Don't you know stalking is illegal in all the United States?" I added, and he snorted.

"I got bored," he said, with a casual shrug.

"I'm honoured, then. If this is the depths of your boredom, then you really must have nothing else to do."

"I don't."

I paused for a moment, staring at him, wondering what to do next. He gazed back at me, and I did the only thing that made sense. I stood back to let him in.

"So… what are you doing?" he asked, walking right into my living room like he owned it. I followed him, shaking my head.

"Watching a movie," I answered, still unable to believe he was in my house.

"Cool," he said, and sat on the couch, stretching his lovely muscly arms… he grinned up at me, dazzling me completely, and patted the seat on the couch next to him. "I don't bite," he said.

Well, Edward, I don't mind if you do.

I sat down uncertainly, even though it was my couch and my house, all too aware of my bare legs. They were so pale; the blue veins were clearly visible. I tucked them up under me and tried to concentrate on the movie, but how could I? He was sitting so close to me, on _my_ couch, and he told me he was crazy about me last night. My skin was tingling.

Suddenly, Edward yawned so theatrically I was forced to look at him. He was stretching his arms in the air again, and I couldn't believe it when one of them came down and draped itself around my shoulders. I raised my eyebrows.

"You did not just do the Yawn and Arm," I said incredulously, my heart throwing itself against my ribs. Oh my God, he had his arm around me. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my _freaking_ God.

"I so just did," Edward said, feigning shock. I met his eyes, which were amused and wicked, and I shook my head at him, unable to help smiling. I had never seen him like this before. It was like his whole front had fallen away, and now he didn't care about keeping up appearances. I hardly recognised him now.

"Jeez, Edward, with all the pick-up lines and the Yawn and Arm… I can only wonder what you'll do next," I said, my voice coloured with sarcasm. "As you're so original, and all…"

"Oh, shut up," he said, rolling his eyes. "I'm the only guy I know of that actually pulls these clichés off, and you know it."

He was right, of course, but I was hardly going to agree with him.

He could use every cliché in existence, but Edward Cullen would make them sexy. I had just accepted that as a proven fact in my eyes.

There was no chance of me taking in a bit of what was going on in the movie, not with his arm around me, so I just concentrated on breathing and not hyperventilating or panicking.

Keep cool. Just keep cool. For the love of God, don't leap on him.

The movie ended, after an eternity, and I summoned up the courage to look at Edward again. He had his thoughtful and moody expression on his face, and my heart sank. Oh, here we go.

He met my gaze, and just looked at me. I just looked back at him, wondering what came next. We just gazed at each other, and I went into another trance, just drinking him in.

The sexy hair.

The green eyes.

The clear, perfect skin.

The sexy emo clothes.

The eyeliner.

He was gorgeous, and sexy, and too perfect, and day-um…

I woke up out of my trance a little, realising that his breathing wasn't the steadiest I'd ever heard. It took me a moment to realise how uneven my breathing was too…my heart was beating so fast, and he was still staring at me, and I was still staring at him…

And then we both just moved at the same time.

His mouth collided with mine, and his hands seized my face, ran through my hair… I moved closer to him, unable to believe that it was Edward I was kissing. His lips were soft and warm and pushing against mine, and I clutched onto his shoulders to stop myself from falling backwards, kissing him back furiously. He tasted so good, and it all felt too good and I almost wanted to dissolve into tears, because _damn_ him for making me wait so long for him, and _damn_ him for being a better kisser than I ever could have imagined.

I ran my fingers through the sexy hair I had always wanted to touch, and his fingers trailed through my hair and slid down to my waist, sending shivers down my spine. My heart was beating disjointedly, and my head was swirling, barely forming any coherent thoughts…

Edward tightened his hold around my waist suddenly, jerking me closer to him, and I lost my balance. I fell backwards, dragging him with me, and I saw stars behind my closed eyelids as I whacked my head painfully off of the armrest on the couch.

How ridiculous that Clumsy Bella always emerges even in situations like these…

He tried to pull away, thinking that he'd hurt me, but my arms locked around his neck and wouldn't let him. He gave in, lining his body up with mine, kissing me with renewed fever. I melted, feeling my skin heat up under his weight, and the heat of his kisses…

I don't know how long we stayed there like that, but it was like heaven, every second.

After what seemed like hours, he pulled away, breathing as heavily as me. We gazed at each other, a little uncertain at first of each other's reactions. I was torn between grabbing his face and kissing him again, and giving him a huge slap across the face for being so unbelievably stupid all this time and putting me through so much crap.

But then he smiled at me, his eyes flashing wickedly, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I hate you," I said, shoving at him playfully so that he'd fall off the couch.

"I hate you more," he laughed, pushing his now thoroughly messed up hair out of his eyes. He grabbed my arm and dragged me until I ended up on the floor too. He wrapped his arms around me, and I leant up against his chest, a big idiotic smile on my face.

"Well, you're wearing eyeliner," I accused.

"So?" he shrugged. "It looks good on me, what can I say?"

I snickered. "You're such an emo."

"Well, you're the most infuriating person in the entire world," he retorted.

"How?" I demanded.

"Oh, I dunno. You were either born that way or you do it on purpose," he smirked.

"Oh, shut up. You wrote the book on being infuriating."

He sighed. "I know. I was stupid."

"You can say that again."

"I was stupid."

"I'll never get tired of hearing you say that."

"I'll bet," he said grumpily. "Now that we've established how stupid I am, can we move on to you?"

"I was never stupid," I huffed.

"Yeah, you were," he insisted.

"OK, then. I was stupid enough to fall for an idiot like you," I retorted, and immediately regretted it. We'd told each other we were crazy about each other, and we'd just spent an eternity making out on the couch, but even after all that… I still wasn't sure how to admit what I felt for him. I didn't feel that secure. And I basically just told him now that I had fallen for him, so now the ball was totally in his court, and I had no racket to defend myself with.

I waited nervously for his reply, searching his face. He just looked exasperated, his usual expression whenever he was talking to me. I wondered if I really was as annoying as he made me out to be.

"Bella," he said sternly, and I shivered slightly. "You are infuriating. You're confusing. You're irrational. You're as mad as a bag of cats -"

"Are you finished yet?" I interrupted, becoming increasingly more irked and nervous.

"Nearly," he smirked. "You're irritating -"

"Huh, look who's -"

"You're beautiful," he said loudly, over me, and I shut up quickly, blushing. "You're funny, and you're quirky, and you're so freaking _stupid_, because you waited around on an idiot like me, who took for-freaking-ever to realise that I'm absolutely crazy about you."

I just gaped at him with a blank expression on my face.

Heart attack. Imminent.

I moved forwards and kissed him, because I was allowed to now, and when Edward Cullen was saying those type of things to you… you couldn't help but want to kiss the little emo face off of him.

He kissed me back, tightening his hold around me, and all my thoughts rapidly exited my head.

He pulled away first, but his lips didn't leave my skin; they just moved down my jaw, trailing kisses down my neck. I kept my eyes closed, feeling my heart thud, hearing my uneven breathing, feeling his breath on my skin.

"Was that your way of saying 'ditto' again?" Edward asked, and I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Probably," I said, not even concentrating on his question, I was so caught up in the kisses he was leaving on my neck.

He chuckled softly, and I opened my eyes when I felt him straighten up. He was smiling that crooked smile, and I wondered what the hell I ever did to deserve this guy.

"Bella?" he asked, raising one eyebrow sexily.

"What?" I said, the infectious smile on his face making me smile too.

"You're not looking for a boyfriend, by any chance…?"


	15. EdwardEdwardEdward

**Hey hey... so first of all, you guys are all awesome. I got over 150 reviews for the last chapter - be still, my heart! Thanks so muuuuch!! ;) Second of all, chiggity check out chapter thirteen - I replaced the author's note with Edward's song. The song has got Edward written all over it, no lie. And the lyrics are awesome. So totally have a look at that if you're interested... and thirdly... I had a great idea today for a new story, which I'll be concentrating on after this story :D. It features a bad-ass Edward and an emo Jasper, so it should be fun XD. Hang around if you're feelin' it, lol. So anyway, enjoy the chapter, I luff hearing your views! ;) xXx**

**Chapter Fifteen: EdwardEdwardEdward**

I just stared at him, my expression blank.

OH HELL YES!

He was waiting on my answer, his eyes flickering between both of my own. Like he was nervous. This spurred me into action, as I didn't want to keep him waiting, so I pulled myself together as best I could and made sure not to embarrass myself.

"Well," I said shyly, "I am looking, if you're asking…"

He grinned, making my heart flutter. "And what if I _was_ asking…?"

"Well, then I'd definitely consider it, if you asked me…" I smiled.

"And if I asked you, and you considered it, what would your answer be…?" he raised an eyebrow, and we both smirked at each other, because it was hypothetical, and yet it wasn't, and it was exciting and we both knew what the ultimate answer was already.

"Well, after a long deliberation," I grinned, pretending to think about it, "I must say that I would not object to such an idea…"

"Interesting," he said, his crooked smile widening. "Well, upon hearing that… I feel inclined to ask, since I know I'm not going to be left with my hopes dashed."

I didn't know what to say after that, so I just laughed and fell silent and waited.

Edward cocked his head to one side and grinned lazily. "So, I'm asking you now…"

"And I'm not objecting," I replied, my heart pounding.

"Excellent," he said, and then he kissed me, and just like that, Edward was my boyfriend.

My boyfriend. Edward.

Holyfreakingcrap.

OMG.

You know when something happens, and it's so good that you feel like dancing and screaming and singing and telling everyone, but you also feel like it can't be real because you wanted it way too much and stuff this good never usually happens?

That's kind of what this is like.

Way too good to be true. I almost can't believe it, but he's right in front of me and he's smiling and he's saying all these things and he's kissing me and asking me out and it is really happening, and I know I should believe it. Maybe I should have seen it coming, so I could have prepared myself.

But I never really expected this to happen. I mean, I daydreamed about this happening, I wished it could happen, I wanted this to happen so badly it made me _ache_, but I just assumed it was one of those things that I'd have to get over. He made it clear he didn't like me, he made no effort with me, he annoyed me… but now that we were on the other side of the fence… there was just something about him. Something that made me think: whoa, if I ever let this guy go, it could be the biggest mistake of my life.

I was just irresistibly drawn to him, like a moth to a flame, like a chocoholic to a chocolate factory.

Bella to Edward.

I was on the border of throwing words around like 'fate' and 'destiny', but I decided not to go _that_ far.

This was real life, and it was dreams that never came true and daydreams that never happen and things you wish you could go back in time and change, and life was pain and lessons and drama and laughing and a blur of confusion and realisation and choices and opportunity cost and influences and monotony and eccentricities and lies and truth and so much more, way more than you could ever summarise.

And if this was my real life… well this was the one thing that I dreamed and daydreamed about, the one thing where there were parts I wished I could change, and this was painful and a lesson and dramatic and funny and confusing and I just couldn't get my head around how amazing life could be, when it chose to be, at the end of it all.

This might not be fate or destiny, but it was better. It was real life. It was me and Edward.

* * *

So I totally forgot about Charlie's existence.

Until he came home, that was.

Edward and I were cuddling on the couch, watching another film to pass the time, but not really watching it because we kept getting distracted by each other… but then I heard his car in the driveway and sprang to my feet, panicked.

"Oh my God, that's Charlie!" I exclaimed. I turned to look at Edward, who was all emolicious and relaxed on my couch, clearly not understanding the magnitude of the situation. Charlie carried a gun on him. And he wasn't stupid. He'd know Edward had been here with me in the empty house all day.

"Edward, you'll have to go out the backdoor," I said hurriedly, tugging on his hand and trying unsuccessfully to get him off of the couch and out of the house.

"Why?" he demanded, using his strength to tug at my hand too at the same time, trying to make me fall back onto the couch again. "I want to meet your dad. You've met my parents."

"But, Edward…"

"But, Bella..."

"But…"

"But?"

"_Edward_, please -"

I heard the front door slam, and froze. We were too late, Edward was going to meet Charlie right now, whether I liked it or not. Edward took advantage of my momentary shock and pulled me back onto the couch, where I sat, dazed.

"Relax," he advised, grinning. "Don't panic. Just sit there and be calm, it'll be fine."

"If I'm grounded because of this, I swear to God, I'll kill you," I muttered out of the corner of my mouth. He just snickered at me.

"Bells!" Charlie bounded into the living room excitedly, like a child enthusiastic to show his mother a picture he had painted. "You should have seen the size of the fish Billy and I caught today, it was massive -"

The second he caught sight of Edward he reverted immediately into Dad-mode.

"Well, who's this, then?" he demanded, after three seconds of complete, dumbstruck surprise.

"Eh, this is, ah, Edward," I said, nervously, fidgeting. This was a terrible idea, I should have kicked Edward out of the house sooner. I was too busy being wrapped up in our little bubble, like an idiot.

"Cullen?" Charlie asked suspiciously, and as if on cue, Edward stood up and extended his hand.

"That's me," he said, smiling. "Nice to meet you, Chief Swan," he added, respectfully.

"Yes…" Charlie said, shaking his hand slowly, still suspicious. I watched the two of them from my position on the couch, praying that this would be over soon. The idea of Edward meeting Charlie didn't even cross my mind until it was forced upon me just now.

"So," Charlie said, drawing himself up to his full height, appearing to size Edward up. I almost laughed. "What have you kids been up to today, then?"

Gah.

"Just watching a film," Edward answered easily, gesturing at the TV.

"I see…" Charlie's gaze flickered over to me. "All day?"

"No, I arrived just five minutes before you did," Edward lied smoothly. Thank God he was doing all the lying for me, I would never have gotten away with any of that. "I just wanted to be introduced," he added.

"Ah," Charlie said, lost for an argument. "Jolly good. It's nice to meet you, then."

Edward beamed angelically, a halo practically materialising above his head.

I still wanted to laugh, but now was not the moment.

There was an awkward pause, and Charlie cleared his throat.

"Well," he said. "It's getting awfully late…"

"It's eight-thirty," I piped up incredulously.

"Oh, is it? I thought it was later," Charlie bluffed. "I'm sure Edward's parents will be looking for him, though..."

"They probably are," Edward agreed. "I'd better head home, so."

"Say hello to Carlisle for me," Charlie said.

"I will. Have a good night, Chief Swan," Edward said, all sweetness and light, and Charlie just nodded mutely. I couldn't look at my father as I jumped up to walk Edward to the door. Once we were in the hall, Edward turned and winked at me, smirking, the halo disintegrating.

"See, that wasn't so bad," he whispered, and I rolled my eyes.

"Not from where I was sitting," I disagreed, throwing open the door.

I was hit by a blast of cold night air, raising goose bumps on my skin. Ignoring it, I followed Edward onto the doorstep, where we were totally out of Charlie's view, should he be spying out any windows.

Without any prior warning, Edward moved right up close to me, way too close for coherent thought. His breath blew in my face, his gorgeous green eyes just centimetres away from my own, and I was completely stunned.

"Can I pick you up and bring you to school tomorrow?" he asked me softly, smiling a little.

How the hell could I have said no to anything he said when he was that close?

"OK," I said breathlessly, and he smiled that crooked smile, and I could barely stay upright. He kissed me, and I clung to him, breathing him in.

"BELLA!" Charlie roared from inside the house, and we jumped apart in fright. "What are you doing?"

"I'm just saying bye to Edward!" I yelled back, while Edward sniggered.

Charlie muttered something almost inaudible, but what sounded suspiciously like "how?", and I frowned.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Edward said, his eyes twinkling.

"OK," I smiled, and watched from my doorstep as he got into his car and drove away.

I re-entered the living room nervously, hoping Charlie wasn't feeling wrathful. He was sitting in his usual chair with a sports channel on the TV, and looked a little put out. He eyed me when I shuffled in, knowing I looked shifty but unable to help it. He waited for me to say something, but I didn't trust myself to speak, and eventually Charlie gave up on the silence.

"I didn't know emus were your type," he commented.

"Emos," I corrected, trying not to laugh.

"That's what I said," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "So are you two… a _thing_?"

"If you're asking whether or not I'm going out with him, then the answer is yeah."

"Right… and how long has this been going on for?"

"It only just happened," I shrugged, attempting nonchalance.

Charlie nodded, and I could tell he wasn't completely happy with the situation, but also that he could see that there wasn't a lot he could do about it. It didn't appear he had anything else to say, so I escaped to my bedroom, breathing a sigh of relief.

Stupid Edward. That could have been disastrous.

I spent the rest of the night lying on my bed, reliving the previous hours with Edward over and over again in my head. He was just _yummy_. My brain just couldn't stop thinking about him; it was just a constant stream of EdwardEdwardEdward.

Just when I decided it was probably best that I got an early night before school the next day, my phone vibrated with a text from Edward, and I almost broke my thumb trying to read it.

_Night Bella ;) xxx_

I felt giddy and high, and wished I could be with him. I just wanted to be with him all the time, it was crazy.

_See you tomorrow :D xxx, _I texted back, delighting at the presence of kisses in his message and delighting at the still unbelievable fact that he was texting me, and just generally being freaking delighted, period.

* * *

I woke up ridiculously early the next morning, full of excitement. I forced myself to stay in bed, because I knew I'd only start pacing if I got up, but I couldn't lie still. I was dying for Edward to come and pick me up, but he wouldn't be here for another hour and a half, so there was absolutely no point in getting up.

I managed to stay in bed for half an hour, listening to Charlie getting up and getting ready for work, thinking about Edward. I wondered about the reaction of the school, and most importantly, Alice. I supposed I could call her my best friend, and I just didn't know how she'd feel about me going out with her brother.

I hoped she wouldn't hate me. I'd feel awful.

After a while, I couldn't stay in bed any longer, so I rushed around getting ready, trying and failing to take my time. I had no idea what to wear, and tried on about four outfits before deciding I was acting crazy. I just settled for jeans and a black long-sleeved off-the-shoulders top. It was dressier than what I normally wore to school, but if Edward and I were planning to go public, then people would be staring.

And I wanted to look like I was in his league, at least. As though I deserved to be with him.

I didn't want them looking at Edward and seeing how gorgeous he was, and then looking at me, wondering how he could stand to be with someone so plain. I really didn't want that.

Charlie had left, I was ready for school, and there was a whole half an hour before Edward was due to arrive. I sat in the living room, feeling jittery with excitement. I hoped this feeling wouldn't last for long; hopefully I'd get used to Edward quickly, and then I could stop having a near heart attack at the thought of seeing him again.

But how ridiculous. How could anyone get used to Edward Cullen? I was still afraid he'd _poof_ and disappear, because he was way too good to be true.

I sprang to my feet at the sound of a car engine, and My Chemical Romance, outside.

He was early.


	16. Hands Off My Emo

**Wow, like seriously... the reviews are so amazing, they make me want to cry. Like, really. You're all totally responsible for making me sniffle. :D If I could send you an Emo Edward and a pair of Batman slippers in the post, I so would ;). So in sad news, this is nearly over guys :( ... but there WILL be a sequel! It hit me like, ten minutes ago, and I'll give you more info on it soon enough :D. heh heh. I also have an Edward POV written, and an Edward/Bella outtake that I couldn't fit into the story where I wanted to, but I think it's funny so I'll put that up too. I want to shout out to: Jen (that review, phew, jaysus, write much like?! lol ;P), DarcyM (I still love your reviews, be them short or long ;D), Eimear (for being generally fab-yuh-lus) and all the people whose reviews made me sniffle, which was the vast majority. Can you SAY amazing?!?! Love ye!! Enjoy! xXx**

**Chapter Sixteen: Hands Off My Emo**

I was outside before he had a chance to knock on my door, which was embarrassingly eager, but I couldn't help myself. I just had to check that it was really him, that yesterday hadn't all been some extraordinary dream.

I watched him climb out of the car, checking him out. He was wearing his beanie hat today, his hair in his eyes, and a black leather jacket with his usual jeans and Converse. The man was heaven on legs.

Was there ever a day Edward Cullen woke up, and his hair wasn't sexy, and his jeans made his ass look fat, and he poked himself in the eye with the eyeliner pencil??

From the look of him, he woke up God-like everyday, but everyone has off-days. I wondered what Edward would look like on an off-day. Probably just sexy in a scruffy way, no doubt.

I was snapped out of my daydreaming when he walked over to me and took my hand.

"Morning," he said, smiling at me. My breath caught.

"Hi," I managed to say, smiling back. He wasn't a dream. Definitely not.

"How are you today?"

"Great," I said, "what about you?"

"I'm great, too."

Right, we got that song and dance out of the way. So when are you going to kiss me again, Edward?

He led me over to the car and gestured for me to get in, pushing his fringe out of his eyes. Oh, he was gorgeous. I practically skipped into the car, my stomach twisting with nerves and excitement, my heart thudding erratically and excitedly.

I listened to the My Chemical Romance song that was playing, as he climbed into the car and started the engine.

"_And without you, is how I disappear, and live my life alone, forever now…"_

"So does Alice know yet?" I asked, remembering that we were about to face everybody at school the next time we got out of this car.

"Nope," he shook his head.

"What, you weren't bursting with the excitement of finally wooing me that you couldn't contain yourself, and had to tell her?!" I teased, and he laughed.

"Don't be ridiculous," he said, shaking his head again. "Alice and I have a typical brother-sister relationship, in that we don't talk much."

"That's very sad."

"It suits us both," he shrugged. "She doesn't have to hear about the reasons I dress the way I do, and I don't have to hear about her obsession with Rihanna's new song. It works both ways. She stays out of my room, I stay out of hers. Unless it's necessary."

I raised my eyebrows, wondering what could possibly be necessary.

"Eyeliner doesn't steal itself, does it?" he smirked.

I started laughing. "You know makeup is for girls, right?"

"Oh shut up. People don't laugh at Pete Wentz."

"How do you know?"

He ignored me while I sniggered to myself.

"So…" I said, once I'd calmed down. "Why _do_ you dress the way you do? Enlighten me."

"Well," Edward began, and I had the feeling this was going to be a major rant that he had been storing up all this time, waiting for the right person to offload it onto. "Everybody at that school is the same. They're boring, unoriginal, predictable, and it all stems from living in a small town, where everybody has the same ideas and the same personalities. It despaired me. I didn't want to _conform_, and out of everybody in this hellhole, I'm the only person with any sort of a personality, the only one who isn't afraid to wear clothes that are a little different, or listen to alternative music.

"Everyone calls me an emo, but to be honest, I don't care what they call me, or what they think of me. They're all sheep, and if they thought I was going to run around after them all, baaing, just so I could find some sort of niche to fit into, they were dead wrong. I don't want to support the football team, or get drunk at their lame parties, or listen to brain-dead, bland chart music. I didn't want to pretend to be someone else like they all do, just because they're afraid of what people will think of them if they try and be just a little bit individual."

He rolled his eyes, exhaling loudly.

"Huh," was all I said. Jeez, this guy was complex.

Edward began to drum his fingers on the steering wheel, as though he was anxious for an opinion. Personally, the fact that he was making a point with his clothes and everything only made him more irresistible to me.

"Well?" he demanded eventually. "Do you have any opinion to offer?"

"No," I shrugged. "I think that's cool, the fact that you don't want to conform and you don't care what people think of that, because it's not what you believe in. It's brave."

"It sucks, sometimes," he said, after a pause. "Everyone assumes you're an anti-social freak."

"I guess you're kind of sick of assumptions, huh?" I asked, remembering when he demanded to know why I didn't assume like everybody else.

"You have no idea. They don't know me, so I don't know why they think they do. _Oh, he's an emo, he probably cuts himself, let's not talk to him because he isn't a real person, he's just a freak_." Edward put on a derisive fake voice, which weirdly sounded rather like Mike Newton.

I squeezed his arm sympathetically, and he threw me a quick smile.

"Of course, school got a lot more interesting when you arrived," he said.

I blushed. "Oh really? I would have thought I added to your daily hell."

"No, funnily enough," Edward said thoughtfully. "You sort of became my experiment. I was fascinated with you - and I know that sounds weird - but I just wanted to see how quickly you were going to conform to the school's ideals. Straightaway you were sitting with Alice at lunch, immediately tying you in with Rosalie and Emmett," he said, scowling at their names, "who I hate to admit, are popular."

"You don't like them?" I asked.

"He's a jock, she's blonde and rich. What an original pairing," he sighed, rolling his eyes. "Then I wondered would you fall victim to the stupid social system that exists at our school, at Emmett's party. I expected you to get drunk and loud, and then make out with a random jock, and tap your foot along to the soulless music. Then I saw James approach you… and I don't know. I just suddenly felt like I had to save you from it.

"As time went on it became clearer to me that you _were_ different, and not easily influenced. And that kind of made up my mind about you."

Deep. This wasn't just Edward Cullen's personality; it was his soul, his mind, the kind of things you would never ordinarily admit to someone. I loved how open he was with me. I felt like I had tapped into unknown territory, and I had it fully marked. It was mine.

I blinked and realised that we were now at the school, and I had no more time to mentally prepare myself for this. I realised, kind of, what Edward was talking about. I was nervous about what people were going to think once they saw me with Edward, and that's what he was firmly against. I mean, why should I care what they think? If they assumed I was suddenly emo too - so what? Edward made me happy, and I wanted to be with Edward. If they didn't like it, screw them all.

Edward parked the car and cut the engine, and I felt braver. The only person's opinion I really cared about was Alice's, but besides her, the rest didn't matter to me.

I climbed out of the car, and Edward walked around to join me.

"And here we are," he said, leaning against the car, as a God would.

I smiled and leant against the car too, next to him. We stood there for a moment, watching everyone begin to arrive; I don't know what he was thinking. I was waiting on the arrival of Alice, preferring to talk to her straightaway and just know that she was OK with this. I couldn't help but notice the lingering gazes that were being thrown our way by some people hanging in their groups in the parking lot, and I tried to ignore them.

"Ugh," Edward sighed randomly.

"What?"

"Oh, it's just… _school_. I hate it."

"I don't think you're alone with that thought in the world."

"I just can't wait to be out of here."

"What do you want to do after school?" I asked, realising I had no idea, my heart thudding, because what if we went our separate ways after school, and our relationship didn't survive? I wouldn't be able to handle that. I couldn't.

"Either become a doctor or a rock star," he answered seriously.

"Really?" I said, impressed. Emo Edward as a doctor and/or rock star? Drool…

"Yep. I know the rock star dream isn't all that realistic, but to play guitar for a band like Fall Out Boy or something… I'd love it, and I know that I could do it. Music is a passion of mine…" he shrugged, trying to make it not seem like a big deal, when I could tell that it was to him.

I could suddenly see Edward as a guitarist in a band, just like Pete Wentz, playing on a stage like the total rock God that he is…

I am totally in love with everything about this guy.

"Earth to Bella."

I came out of my daydream.

"Sorry," I said, "I was just -"

"Dreaming of hanging my poster up on your wall?" he suggested, grinning.

"No," I scoffed, although _now_ I was…

"Dreaming of getting VIP backstage passes for my gigs?"

"Well, I'd be so insulted if that wasn't the case," I laughed, playing along.

"Don't worry," he chuckled, "I won't forget about you when I'm rich and famous."

"I should hope not."

He took my hand. "Bella, no matter where either of us end up in the world, I know I'll never forget about you," he said, looking straight into my eyes. His green eyes were so intense, and I was lost in them for one completely surreal and breathtaking moment.

"Well, well!" someone squeaked. "Look at this!"

We both turned, and there was Alice, beaming, wearing an 'I knew it' expression.

"Oh, hi, Alice," I said, still a bit dazed. God, that man knew how to dazzle me into stupidity, anyway.

"Are you going to tell me before I die of anticipation, or do you want me to guess?" she demanded, gesturing at our hands, which were still intertwined.

"Em, er, well, now, ah, eh, we -"

"What Bella is trying to say is," Edward interrupted my babbling, rolling his eyes and looking as though he was trying to suppress a grin, "that we are... going out."

Alice started jumping up and down, and practically strangled me by means of a hug.

"Oh wow, this is so _cute_! I knew it though, I saw it coming! I'm psychic, I swear! I just had a funny feeling about you two!" she squealed excitedly, and I couldn't help grinning at her enthusiasm. Alice was great.

"And here I always assumed you were gay," she smirked at her brother, who rolled his eyes again.

"And here I always assumed you were made of plastic and bits of fluff," he retorted, and Alice just made a face at him. "Shouldn't always assume, should we?" he added.

"I don't know how you're going to put up with him," Alice said to me, shaking her head, "but I'm really happy you guys are happy."

"Thanks, Alice," I beamed, and gave her another hug.

"No problemo," she grinned. "Now, I must dash, I want to be the first to inform Jasper and Rosalie!"

"See you later," I said, and off she skipped.

I looked at Edward, who was watching her leave with an resigned expression on his face. I was about to ask what he was thinking, when the bell rang.

"Time to go," he sighed.

I thought of all the classes I had to get through before I could see him again, and I sighed too.

"See you in Biology," he said, and to my delight, kissed my cheek. In front of everyone and anyone who was watching.

Yes, bitches. Hands off. I bagged the sexy emo, when you sods didn't even know he was there. Aha.

All my class dragged, as I expected them to. I couldn't wait to be with Edward again, and the clock took its sweet time counting down to Biology class. When it finally rolled around, I practically sprinted to the classroom, and found him waiting in the corridor outside for me. He smiled when he saw me, and I beamed at him.

We walked in the door together, and out of the corner of my eye I noticed Mike Newton throwing me a look, but I ignored him, refusing to feel guilty for turning him down before. I ignored all the other looks too, holding on to Edward's hand and focussing on our seats in the back of the classroom. Edward, not seeming at all bothered that people were gazing at us interestedly, just shuffled down the seat aisle, towing me along.

Once we reached the back of the room, staring became rather obvious, and Edward glared at anyone who even craned their necks in our direction. They didn't do it again, after that.

I gave Edward a playful shove just as he was sitting down, and he had to grab on to the table to stop him from falling. I snickered, and he narrowed his eyes.

"I'll get you back for that."

"Ooh, go on," I challenged, scoffing. I took my Biology book out and dumped it on the table, and proceeded to search for my pencil case. Edward, meanwhile, performed a huge, fake stretch, and with his right hand, shoved the book off of the table. It landed on the ground with a sharp smack, and I sighed.

"Mature," I said sarcastically.

"Almost as mature as trying to push me off my seat," he retorted, smirking.

"Go pick it up," I told him.

"You pick it up, it's your book."

"You knocked it."

"You tried to knock me off my chair."

"So? A gentleman would pick the book up for me."

"Yeah, well, a _man_ would watch _you_ bend over and pick it up."

I blushed, ignoring the teasing glint in his eyes.

"Edward."

"Bella."

"Pick up my book."

"No."

I rolled my eyes and got off my seat, walking around the table to retrieve it myself.

"You are so annoying."

"Don't start what you can't finish," he advised, sniggering.

I picked up the book self-consciously, paranoid that he was checking out my ass, and threw it back onto the table. Edward smirked at me as I pulled my notes and pencil case from my bag, ignoring him.

The minute Edward caught sight of the pencil case, he lunged for it, and I just wasn't quick enough this time.

"Edward, give it back!"

He held it out of my reach, holding it between his index finger and thumb as though it was a dead rat, eyeing it distastefully.

"No," he said. "This is officially confiscated."

"Confiscated?" I repeated, raising my eyebrows.

"Yep. I'm burning this when I get home."

"Don't you dare!"

"Bella," he said, feigning concern, "I know it's hard to let go of this fluffy monstrosity, but I will get you a new one."

"And what am I supposed to do in the meantime?" I demanded huffily. "I need my pens."

Acting as though he was dissecting something dead and decaying, Edward opened the pencil case and started pulling out all the pens that weren't pink or covered in fluff. He slid them across the table to me.

"And what am I supposed to carry them in?"

He passed me his own pencil case.

"Here. Now stop complaining."

"But what about you?"

He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a few pens.

"It's just handier carrying them around."

"So what's the point of the pencil case, then?"

"Force of habit," he shrugged.

"Hmm," I mumbled, putting my pens into his practically empty pencil case. Because _of course_ I was going to use it.

Edward threw the fluffy abomination into his black Metallica bag, and I snorted with laughter.

"You've a pink pencil case in your emo bag," I sniggered.

He shuddered. "Stop reminding me."

"What if someone asked to see the contents of your bag, and you pulled… out… that… and they thought… it was yours…?" I gasped, barely breathing due to my laughing fit.

Edward was not amused. "I'll just say that my girlfriend drove me to the edge of insanity with her stupid pencil case and confiscating it was the only way I could guarantee its disappearance."

"I don't see how I drove you to insanity with it," I said, still giggling hysterically, and also thrilling to the words 'my girlfriend'.

"I had to look at it everyday. _And_ you attacked me with it while making aeroplane noises."

I somehow managed to laugh and cringe at the same time.

He sniggered at my reaction. "See? Insanity."

"Oh, shut up. _You_ drive _me_ insane, Edward Cullen."

"In a bad way or a good way?" he grinned.

I smiled. "Both."


	17. Oh Baby, Don't You Know I Suffer

**Heyyy! OMG, my eyes fall out of my head every time I check out the review count! Jayyysusss! Can I just say a massive THANK YOU to everyone reviewing - seriously, y'all make my day! :D Thank you espesh to the nice person who said I had great taste in music (aww) and the other nice person who asked me did I win any awards - nope, but thanks for thinking I'm worthy of them! wowness! Thank you to Jen for her non-reviews (basically gossip, haha), and Eimear (I want that frickin' story, ASAP!). **

**Oh, by the by... I'm not from England - I'm from Ireland ;)**

**Now, here's a nice long chapter. Because we all know that Edward is anything but simple.**

**Oh, didn't I mention? This is Edward's POV. :D**

**Enjoy! xxx**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: Oh Baby, Don't You Know I Suffer**

Ugh.

I used to hate Biology. I disliked the teacher, I disliked the subject, and up until recently, I disliked the girl sitting next to me.

A few weeks ago, I never could have predicted this. I would have laughed at the absurd and ridiculous notion that I could ever be romantically involved with Bella Swan.

She was impossible.

Impossible to like, at the start.

On her first day of school, the entire school was talking about her, tracking her every move, exchanging pieces of gossip that they had heard about her. It was pathetic, but what could I seriously expect - in Forks High School, there wasn't an awful lot going on. Bella might as well have been a celebrity.

I, of course, was in one of my 'moods'. I was irritated. I was bored. I didn't speak to anyone, and I glared at anybody who tried speaking to me. I spent the day going through the motions, trapped inside my own head. My mind was a beautiful mess of song lyrics and melodies, all of which I couldn't get out of my head.

There was a song in my head, driving me crazy, and I couldn't finish it. It was so frustrating. I could hear it, and it was almost perfect, but whenever I tried to create the ending of it, I just hit some sort of block. I was getting increasingly more annoyed with myself, with the song, and the irksome people around me who insisted on messing with my concentration. My bad mood worsened.

And then Bella Swan walked into my Biology class. I eyed her with interest for a minute, before chastising myself. I wouldn't be as pathetic as the people in this school. She was just another person, another girl, and I doubted she would be anything remarkable.

Ha. How wrong I was.

I glared in Mike Newton's direction instead, because he was staring at Bella like a drooling dog, his thoughts totally apparent on his face. Mike Newton annoyed me. There was something so goody-goody about him, and it got on my nerves.

Everybody got on my nerves, if truth be told. They were all so boring, and unoriginal, and predictable, and at times I felt suffocated in this hellhole of a school. I scowled, thinking, for maybe the millionth time, about how unbelievable it was that I was the only person who wasn't afraid to show that I wasn't one-dimensional.

I was jolted out of my thoughts by someone sitting next to me; no one ever sat next to me. I liked having my own space, and I was immediately grumpy at this new development. I looked up, and met Bella Swan's eyes for a brief second; they were brown. A soft shade of brown.

I looked away again, staring at my notes instead. She was rather pretty, I suppose… but she was probably just as spoilt and superficial as all the other girls in this school; obsessed with pink and squealing at things and bland chart music with no depth. Like Alice.

I did love my sister, but she had no sense of originality either. I was sick of her going around the house claiming Britney's new song was stuck in her head, and getting all giddy over a pair of pink high heels. Her room was like a pink, fluffy nightmare, with cushions and teddy bears and a rather alarming poster of Justin Timberlake. I avoided her room like the plague, only entering when I absolutely had to.

Eyeliner doesn't steal itself, after all.

I vaguely realised that Mr Banner was writing stuff up on the board, and I grabbed a pen out of my pencil case, ready to add to my notes. Something pink flashed in my peripheral vision, and I looked to the right of me.

My eyes nearly fell out of my head. A pink atrocity of a pencil case was sitting on the desk; fluffy, sparkly, girly, the word PRINCESS emblazoned across it. I snorted quietly. I knew it. She was probably another version of Alice - nobody in their right mind would ever buy a pencil case like that, unless they were into that sort of thing.

I suddenly realised she was looking at me, and I shifted my glare from the pencil case onto her. Her eyes widened slightly at my expression, and I just gazed at her derisively before turning away.

And so the monotony continues… I thought, considering giving up on humankind altogether. Nothing, no one, ever surprised me anymore.

The lesson continued, and I struggled with the song with my head, trying to create the perfect ending. I was getting nowhere, and increasingly more frustrated. By the time the bell rang, I had almost given up.

But then the weirdest thing happened. Bella stood up, gathered up her stuff and began to leave the classroom, and as I watched her walk away, the missing pieces of the song just burst into my head, fresh, crisp, clear, perfect, like they had been right there in my head all along.

* * *

I didn't think about that too much. I put it down to coincidence. There was nothing about Bella Swan that particularly appealed to me; she seemed to be just like any other girl. I saw her in the cafeteria sitting with Alice, only confirming the suspicion that she was a regular girly girl, with a penchant for pink and fluffy things; she must have had loads in common with Alice.

After school though, I waited by Alice's car as usual, and couldn't help rolling my eyes when I saw her approach, Bella attached to her hip. I had the feeling that Bella had seen, which was unintentional, but I shrugged it off. She probably didn't think very much of me; nobody ever really did. I think I might be a tad intimidating. Or something.

I went straight up to my room when I got home, determined to write the song I'd been thinking about all day down before it left my head. Once it was on paper, completed, I realised my bad mood had lifted somewhat. That was the trouble of being a musician; when the music wouldn't go my way, it really pissed me off.

I spent some time playing the piano, but eventually I grew restless and tried to find something else to do. I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror, and sighed; my hair had gone flat and looked stupid. I really wanted to dye it black, but my mother was dead set against it, claiming you couldn't buy my shade of bronze in a bottle, and staying natural was better. I agreed reluctantly.

Hair gel was nowhere to be found. Set off on expedition for hair gel, and it was still nowhere to be found. Alice sometimes borrowed it to spike the ends of her short black hair, so I stormed grumpily into her room, irritated for no real reason.

"Have you seen my hair gel?" I demanded, folding my arms. I caught sight of Bella, looking at home amidst the pink and the fluff, and wasn't surprised. She was just what I thought. It was depressing in a way; where the hell were all the people in this world who had the same attitude as me? I couldn't be the only one. I had to get out of this town; it had such a narrow mind.

"Nope," Alice answered, shaking her head. "Oh, and by the way, I want my black eyeliner back."

I glared at her, furious with her for embarrassing me in front of company. "I do not wear eyeliner," I huffed, and stormed out. I could hear them giggling behind me, and I rolled my eyes. Honestly. As if I was going to _admit_ that I wore eyeliner.

The day just got weirder after that. First, I caught Bella peering into my bedroom, and rushing off like a scalded flea when I pointed out that it wasn't the bathroom. Well, I may have been slightly rude about it, but meh. Then I decided to watch a film with the girls, and one minute I was watching it, and the next minute I was staring at Bella. I didn't even realise that I was doing it. It sort of just happened. The very moment I caught myself staring at her, she looked over and caught me too.

I looked away quickly, hoping she wasn't going to read too much into that. I couldn't be interested in a girl like Bella Swan, and I never would be. She was my opposite, if she was anything at all like Alice.

The minute the film was over, I got the hell out of the room, because now the girl was messing with my head.

I kept questioning myself, second-guessing myself, and it was so stupid because it wasn't like Bella was anything extraordinary. She hadn't done anything to particularly impress me.

Except… she was the reason I could finish my song.

But that didn't have to mean anything. She didn't do anything, except walk away from me. Like her doing that would affect me in any way.

Little did I know…

I overheard Alice and Bella talking in the kitchen, arriving just in time to hear Bella complaining that I glared at her for no reason, and was "judgemental" and "moody". I was immediately irritated.

"Don't forget handsome," I added loudly. She looked mortified, and I just smiled at her sarcastically, wondering why the hell I was letting her mess with my head. She clearly was like every other person in that school. She just assumed she knew everything about me, assumed I was unpleasant for no reason, assumed, assumed, assumed. Forks High School would be delighted. They'd found another sheep to play with.

I decided then and there that I disliked Bella Swan, just as much as I disliked the rest of the uninspiring people who attended our school. She was boring, and unoriginal, and no doubt predictable to boot. She would suffocate me, just like they all did.

* * *

The people at school all blended into one; became one face, one person. I never distinguished between them, because none of them ever had any distinguishing features anyway. I fully expected Bella to just blend into this crowd, and I couldn't understand why it just didn't happen.

Biology rapidly became a nuisance.

First off, it was the crappy cell division experiment. Bella was awkward around me, probably because I caught her talking about me the day before, and I didn't try to make things better for her. I was rude and insulting and everything else that just came naturally to me.

But it surprised me, when she snapped at me. Usually nobody took any notice of me, or took me too seriously. The way she just launched into an attack on me made me think that I had somehow gotten to her. But… that was ridiculous. Why didn't she just ignore me like everyone else? Obviously she still didn't know how things worked around here. Nobody talked to Edward Cullen.

Then, I rather made an idiot of myself, and said something I didn't mean.

I couldn't find a pen, so she offered me one, and I overreacted slightly at the fluffy one she pulled from her pencil case.

"You've got to be kidding me," I snorted.

"Oh, shut up," she snapped, looking embarrassed. "Are you afraid of the fluffy pen or something?"

"I'm afraid of what was going through your mind when you bought it," I retorted, in a huff. Nobody ever argued with me; they never dared. This was a new experience for me. Bella was just as good at comebacks and sarcasm as I was.

"I didn't buy it," she scowled. "My mother did."

"A scarier thought. Another version of you."

She glared at me, and I immediately realised I had gone too far, and pushed her to the limit.

"Screw you," she said, and I watched in shock and surprise as she stood up, gathered her stuff and stormed right past Mr Banner and out of the classroom.

Walking away from me.

I sat back, exhaling. Well.

I ignored the accusatory looks that were being shot in my direction, and slumped on the table. _What a drama queen_, I thought. There was no need to overreact like that. I hated those kinds of girls, the ones who had to make big scenes over everything. I thought about the whole thing during the rest of class, and managed to reach a conclusion, convincing myself that I was in the right and she was making a mountain out of a molehill.

But that feeling didn't last. I felt increasingly guilty as the day went on, and I was sulking, because I believed that I shouldn't have to feel guilty. I was in a horrific mood for most of the day, and I just couldn't figure Bella out.

I made the fatal mistake of trying to ask Alice if she could somehow decipher girls for me so that I could understand this alien species, but she was extremely unhelpful.

"Alice?" I entered her room uneasily, feeling nervous for some ridiculous reason. I just didn't want her to think this was about Bella and to read too much into it.

"What?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

I hesitated. "You know… you know the way you're a girl?"

Note to self: never _ever_ attempted anything like this ever again.

"Yes…" Alice agreed, now looking amused. "My biological makeup decrees that I am, yes, a girl. Well done, Edward, glad you finally figured that big mystery out."

I scowled at her, folding my arms. "Right, Alice," I said impatiently.

"Did you have some sort of reason for interrupting what I'm doing?" Alice asked, indicating the bottle of purple nail polish and her half completed nails.

"Oh sorry, I thought you were just… wasting time…" I said, with just a hint of sarcasm.

She rolled her eyes. "What do you want, o brother of mine?"

"Well…" I didn't think this was a good idea anymore, but I decided to just plough on ahead with it. "What… are you thinking? Like, what do ye think about…?" Yep, I definitely regretted it now. Alice was looking at me like I had just sprouted a beard.

"I'm thinking that you're acting like a freakazoid again," she replied, and I gave up.

"Forget it," I muttered, rapidly exiting the room.

* * *

That was just the start.

Bella Swan continued to have an effect on me. The day after I overheard that she was listening to Linkin Park, and it totally confused me, because that couldn't be right. Alice hated all that type of music. It didn't make sense to me, at all.

I thought she was trying to impress me somehow, by listening to music that nobody in this narrow-minded town really bothered with. I actually thought she was that superficial; to change, so that I'd dislike her a bit less.

She was ignoring me in class, and I still felt guilty, so I made up my mind to apologise to her. I didn't want to, but I felt compelled to. I cleared my throat a couple of times, and she continued to ignore me. I became frustrated with her immaturity, wishing that she didn't have to make this more difficult than it already was. I cleared my throat once more, and she decided to speak to me.

"Do you need something for your throat, Edward?" she asked, not looking at me.

"No," I scoffed, rolling my eyes and glaring. She met my eyes, but I broke her gaze. "Look, Bella," I began, glaring at a spot on the table, hating this, "I'm sorry… about yesterday. I didn't mean… what I said. I was… rude," I sighed, rolling my eyes. I wasn't good at saying sorry, or admitting I was wrong. Especially when I had managed to convince myself that I was right.

"Huh," was all she had to say. She saw right through me, and then I started feeling freaking guilty over _that_. That irritated me even more, and I couldn't help snapping.

"I'm trying to say sorry, alright?" I said, sounding anything but sorry. God, I was such a jerk.

"You're doing a terrific job," she scoffed. "I'm believing that you mean it and everything."

"Oh, forget it," I said, totally shutting off. What ridiculousness. I didn't want to squabble with her in the middle of Biology, I had better things to do with my time. Like learn Biology. Or stare at the wall.

"I already have," she said quietly, and I frowned to myself. _Why_ did I feel bad about this? _Why_ did I feel I had to do more? I didn't _want_ to get back in her good books. I didn't _care_ about her good books, and about being in them. I didn't _care_ about Bella Swan all that much. So why, oh _why_, was there an uncomfortable feeling in my chest?

I spent the class in a horrendous mood, fighting the guilty feelings, sulking because she was confusing me and making me think about her way more than was necessary. I kept thinking about the whole Linkin Park thing too, and the entire situation was just irksome. At the end of class, I couldn't hold my opinion in any longer.

I'm quite opinionated when I get going, I've been told.

"By the way, if you think listening to the same bands I like is going to make me like you, you're wrong," I said, in a hoity-toity voice.

And I just stood there, blinking at her, feeling like a tool, as she went off on a big rant about how much of a clear fan she was of the band and how the fact that I disliked her didn't bother her one iota. I just let her speak, genuinely not having a clue of what to say.

How stupid was I? Clearly, she wasn't giving me any thought whatsoever. Which meant she was on my mind more than I was on hers, which was not on. Stupid Edward. Stop bothering yourself with this girl.

She span around and her hair whipped me in the face. My eyes closed automatically at the sting, and I caught a sudden whiff of what her hair smelt like.

Strawberries.

I opened my eyes just in time to see her lose her balance and fall towards me. I didn't think about it, I just caught her, and held her until she found her feet. Even then, she didn't turn around, and we were just stuck there in some weird moment.

"Thanks," she said, and I responded with a very confused "OK", because I couldn't understand why I hadn't just let go of her by now. The smell of her hair was clogging up my nose, and clouding up my mind, and I couldn't really understand anything anymore.

"But this doesn't change anything," I said, talking to myself. I still didn't like her. I still wasn't going to think about her.

She turned on me. "What does that mean? You stopped me from falling over. Why would that change something? God, there's no something for nothing with you, is there Edward?"

I rolled my eyes. Everything was about her, it seemed.

"You know what, fine," I said impatiently. "Next time, I'll let you fall and break your ass."

"Great. Wonderful. Thanks a lot," she said.

And then she walked away from me, once again.

And I couldn't figure out why that bothered me.

* * *

Emmett was throwing a party, and I was invited, as was most of the rest of the school. I hated parties. I always ended up standing against the wall, watching my peers participating in the average and predictable things that teenagers did at parties, like getting drunk and loud, making out rather inappropriately in front of people, listening to music they thought was cool. I just stood there, passing judgment, becoming increasingly more pissed off, and always ended up wondering why I bothered going in the first place.

But I decided to go to this party, because I was curious. This would be Bella's first outing into the stupid social system that existed in our school, in Forks. I wondered would she get drunk and loud, and make out with some random jock, and tap her foot along to the soulless music, Linkin Park conveniently forgotten.

I was just curious, that was all.

If she did, then I was totally blocking her from my mind, because it meant she was just like everybody else, and not worth wasting any time thinking about.

And I wanted it proven, sooner rather than later, because every time I smelt something that was rather like strawberries, I thought of her. It was driving me mad. I just kept thinking about the scent of her hair, and I couldn't figure out why.

I was waiting downstairs for the two girls to hurry on. I had decided to take my car, which meant I could leave whenever I wanted; I was sure Alice could get dropped home by her idiot boyfriend, and Bella could make her own way home, I presumed.

Eventually, Alice came down. "Oh good, Edward, you're ready," she said gaily, and I rolled my eyes.

"I've been ready for three hours," I replied, exaggerating slightly.

"Shut up. Beauty takes time. And doesn't Bella look great?"

I turned to look automatically, not realising what I was doing until I was looking at her, and really seeing her. She looked… hot. Really, really pretty. It confused me even more, so I just nodded quickly and walked out of the front door, trying not to think too much.

The party was interesting, in that Bella did absolutely nothing I thought she would do. She didn't mingle, she didn't drink; in fact, she did exactly what I usually do at parties, which was standing by a wall and observing.

I was masochistic enough to watch her all night, torturing myself with my thoughts. She was too different from me. It didn't matter how attractive I thought she was, because I could never be with her, because we were different types. We wouldn't work. We'd end up killing one another. So I just had to forget about her totally, because I was sick of thinking about her now.

Yet, I had told myself a million times that I wasn't going to think about her, and when had I ever listened to myself?

Then I saw James approach her.

He was a jock. He had a reputation for being a player. They were beginning to look cosy, and it made me angry. From where I was standing, it looked like Bella would be the type to make out with a jock in front of everyone after all. How disappointing.

She was seriously messing with my head. One minute she was predictable and boring, and then next she was surprising me. Well, she was definitely showing me her predictability now, and it irritated me.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was over there, clearing my throat loudly and folding my arms. They both turned and looked at me, and I could almost feel my blood boiling. I was angry. Angry at myself, for acting like an idiot, and angry with Bella, for making me feel like this. I didn't want to feel like this, damn it. I just wanted it to go back to the way it was, before she moved to Forks.

"Yes?" James asked, and I ignored the complete clod.

"Can I have a word with you?" I demanded of Bella, who agreed uncertainly.

"I'll wait for you, Bella," James said, and swaggered away. I glared after him, wishing there was some legal way in which I could injure him badly.

"What do you want?" Bella asked me, immediately defensive.

I glared at her instead. "What are you doing?" I wanted to know.

She couldn't possibly answer that question. She had no idea what she was doing to me. She had no idea that she was driving me out of my mind, trying to understand who she was, what she was about. I didn't get her. All I wanted was some sort of outline of who she was, and I fully expected it to be dull and uninteresting, just like everyone else I knew. But no. There was something intriguing about her, and I was sick of being so fascinated with it.

"What do you mean, what am I doing?" she asked, looking confused.

Join the club, babe. No one else has a clue, either.

"You're -" I stopped myself from launching into a tirade, and merely gestured in James's general direction.

_You're fraternising with the enemy. You're one step away from getting lost in the crowd. You're annoying me. You're fascinating me. You're beautiful. You're looking at me like you want to kill me. _

"And?" she shrugged. She didn't get it. She wasn't getting it.

I didn't freaking _want_ her to get lost in the crowd, OK? I wanted to… I don't know what I wanted. I was totally all over the place.

"Well, I mean -"

"Edward," she interrupted, "what are you doing?"

And that woke me up.

I had to snap out of this. I had to stop being impulsive and crazy. I had to stop letting her in my head like this; I didn't care what she did. I didn't care if she fell victim to the social order here. I didn't _care_.

At least, that's what I tried to convince myself.

But she was already under my skin, in my head, and I tried so hard to forget about her, but it was impossible.

Bella Swan was impossible.

Impossible to like, but impossible to hate. Impossible to stop thinking about. Impossible to get out of my head.

Impossible to understand, to figure out, to get.

I tried to ignore her, but that was impossible. I tried everything I could think of, but I just kept coming full circle, back to square one, back to her.

It hurt when she walked away from me. I hated it. I always, always, realised too late that I wanted her to stay.

And because I was socially awkward, and of course confused, I had no idea how to talk to her, or what to say. The only sort of connection that I had with her was over her ridiculous pencil case, which I used as an excuse to make contact with her whenever I could.

I started passing her notes, in some sort of desperate effort to start a conversation, because face-to-face, we just didn't seem to work. I could never seem to muster up more than a few words, because I just didn't know what to say. I didn't have a freaking clue.

Eventually I got so sick of trying. It was working; we weren't _clicking_, and I figured it would be best if I just left it. I doubted she would care that much; it wasn't like we were going anywhere.

So I tried telling her to leave me alone, but then she told me she didn't know how to. That threw me. I wasn't the big mystery that she thought I was. I wasn't even that interesting.

But then I realised. I couldn't go on the way I was any longer. I couldn't keep torturing myself with unrealistic daydreams. I couldn't keep on convincing myself that we would never work, and that I was an idiot for even thinking about the possibility.

I was a _total_ idiot. An idiot because I fell for her, an idiot because I let her fall for me, and an idiot because I waited this long to figure out that it didn't have to be this hard.

Telling Bella that I couldn't stay away from her was the most terrifying thing I ever attempted in my life. I nearly caused my own heart attack. But I had to tell her. She had to know that I was now willing to make an effort, and if she would meet me halfway, then we might just get somewhere after all…

In the most ridiculous display of irony the universe has ever bestowed on me, Mike Newton had the exact same idea as me on the same day, to ask Bella out after waiting so long to just pluck up the courage. I behaved like an asshole, and I couldn't even bring myself to be ashamed - it had taken me this long to wake up and smell the strawberries, and I'd be damned if I let Mike Newton think he was in with even a remote chance with her. I was staking my claim.

I decided against asking her out that day, because there was no way I was going to be second to Mike Newton in anything. I brought her to a meadow I had found when on one of my walks with my iPod - the walks I took when I needed to get away from everything.

I opened my mouth, and everything just came out. I felt a bit cheesy, spilling my guts to her while she just sat there and listened, but I couldn't help it. She needed to get me. She needed to understand me. All the misapprehensions had gone beyond a joke, and things needed to be clear.

Annoyingly, my mother called me home (to clean my room, of all things), but I didn't want to let Bella go just yet, not when we were finally breaking through all the crap that had built up between us. So I pulled out the old Cullen charm and scored her number…

Texting her was just like passing notes, only better. She was still the same witty and sarcastic Bella, and I asked myself why the hell I had waited so long to man up and admit to myself that I liked the girl. More than that. I was crazy about her. And I had no shame in telling her that, because I had already made up my mind. I was seeing her the next day, and I wasn't going to leave until she was officially _mine_.

Although I moan and groan about originality, I couldn't help all the pick-up lines and the clichés… Bella Swan literally froze my mind. I couldn't make it function around her, so I did all the clichéd things that anybody else would do, because I simply couldn't think. I was just delighted I could pull them all off, and I promised myself that our relationship wouldn't always be clichés and typical… it would be real.

I had always hated Biology.

But I had actually looked forward to the wretched class today, because I was sitting next to Bella.

How things had changed…

We spent the entire class passing notes, except this time there were love hearts and kisses all over the pages, because we were silly and happy and mad about one another and _this_ was what was real, this was what mattered.

She was the least boring person I had ever met. She was so quirky and funny and sweet, and confusing and irritating and infuriating, and original, and unpredictable, and in a sea of forgettable faces and personalities, she sparkled.

I had finally gotten over myself. But I could never get over Bella Swan.

That was just _impossible_.


	18. Under Edward's Bed

**Gah!**

**Yes, I know. It's been way, way too long. I'm so sorry! My laptop was refusing to switch on, and my PFPC document was on it... :( but, it randomly decided to turn itself on today, so hurrah! PLEASE, don't think I was being rude or purposely ignoring the fact that so many of you liked this and wanted to read the end, that was so not the case!! If I had my way, I would be permanently glued to a laptop, but... technology hates me, so it would seem... le sigh. So PLEASE PLEASE forgive me! The reviews were so amazing, I haven't even had a chance to read any recent ones in my haste to post this, but I'm totally checking em out after! :D and eh, in other amazing news, this story won Best Comedy on the Immortal Cookie Awards... SAY WHAT?! wowowowowow! :D Yayness! I can totally see this author's note reaching novel length proportions, but oh well... so I said I was writing a sequel, but I've noticed that I seem to have a pattern going on in which I say I'm going to write a sequel but then never do... so I'm not going to get anyone's hopes up. I might write one some day, but just not any time soon! Maybe if I get a new laptop... hint hint cough cough, parents of mine... haha. Also, one review from ages ago stuck with me, about the pink fluffy pencil case's significance in the story... it's a symbol of not judging books by their cover. Which is what I think this story is about... not judging people on appearances alone. :) and yes, the title of Edward's chapter was a Supermassive Black Hole by Muse reference... I freaking love that song :D Ok so here's a final chapter, sorry it's short and a little rushed, but it's so overdue it's ridiculous, apologies for any mistakes, I might eventually get around to posting some outtakes, but I just wanted to let you all know I'm still alive and rockin', haha, and to thank y'all for reading and reviewing and being unfreakingbelieveable, and hopefully I'll be able to post some more stuff very soon!! :D **

**Lea xxxx**

* * *

**Epilogue: I'd Hate To Think What Else Is Under Edward's Bed**

"Mark this moment. It's historic. You've officially left the planet."

"Oh, shut up, Edward," I snapped, rolling my eyes at his stupid, moody expression. "If I didn't know better I would say you suffering from PMS."

He scowled. "Funny. It's hard to miss that fact that you definitely suffer from PMS…"

"What?" I half-shrieked, both furious and embarrassed. Edward grimaced and rubbed his ears dramatically. "Oh, _so_ mature," I added, scoffing.

"Almost as mature as rendering me deaf, as well as demented," he retorted.

"Whatever," I huffed, thoroughly pissed off with him now.

"Whatever," he repeated, and slumped over the table, ignoring me. I turned away from him, determined never to speak to him again.

I sighed, watching Mr Banner walk into the room and the class settling down. I hated fighting with Edward, although it wasn't unusual. Some days I was infatuated, some days I wanted to kill him. Love, hate.

I sort of expected it, though. You can't just go straight from hating someone to liking them, and expect the relationship to be perfect and magical and blah blah blah. He still found ways to annoy me, and no doubt I was the same. The good thing was, we never waited long before making up again. He drove me crazy, but it was a good kind of crazy.

Five minutes later, when he passed me a note, I opened it with half a smile on my face.

_Sorry xx_

_Me too xx_

I gave it back to him, and once he read it he caught my eye and winked at me. His hand reached over to my lap and took my hand, and held it tightly in his.

And that was it. Whatever the hell we were fighting about was forgotten.

I'm sure it wasn't that important anyway.

We spent the rest of the class writing notes, as was the usual for us. He was going to be the reason I ended up failing Biology, but it didn't bother me all that much. Edward was one hell of a distraction, but he was a really good one.

_So I have a surprise for you_, he wrote.

_Does it involve you with your shirt off?_

He snorted.

_You wish._

I sighed, because I really did.

_Well, what's my surprise? _

_If I told you, would it be a surprise?!_

_Edward, that's really annoying. You can't just tell me you have a surprise for me and then not freaking tell me what the surprise is!_

_I just did._

_That's going to annoy me all day, you know that, right?_

_Yep._

_Edward. Please tell me!_

_I don't know..._

I rolled my eyes. As ever, it seemed, Edward was going to lean towards the dramatic, and drag this out. I was intrigued, and a little excited. He was always surprising me.

He surprised me when he struck up a great friendship with Charlie, without any input from me. He surprised me when he kissed me in front of a gawping cafeteria, "just to create a scandal", as he said afterwards. He surprised me when he climbed through my bedroom window one night, just because he ran out of credit and couldn't text me back. He surprised me when he wrote a song for me on his guitar, and proceeded to seranade me, rock 'n' roll style.

He never did what I expected him to do, and it only made me even more infatuated with him.

_Is it my pencil case?_

_What?_

_My fluffy one, the one you confiscated, remember? Are you giving it back?_

_Hell no._

_You know I'm expecting you to return that to me, right?_

_Why on earth do you want that back?_

_Because it's mine! You stole it._

_I did not. I confiscated it. There's a difference._

I started giggling to myself, and he took the piece of paper back to write on it again, eyeing me suspiciously.

_What's so funny?_

_You've a fluffy pink pencil case in your emo room._

_Oh, ha ha. Don't worry, it's locked away where no one can ever see it._

_What, in your high security emo safe?!?!_

_Oh, shut up._

I sniggered to myself for a while before writing back to him.

_Can I ask you a question?_

_What?_

_Will you be honest?_

_Eh, yeah?_

_Do you promise?_

_Ask the question, Bella._

_What did you do with the pencil case_?

_I put it under my bed. _

He scratched the side of his head with the end of his pen before he slid the paper over the table to me, and I knew he was hiding something else from me.

_And what sort of condition is it in?_

_Mint..._

_Is that all? Is there more to this story?_

_I don't know, is there?_

_Why do I have a funny feeling there's something you're not telling me?_

_Because you're weird?_

_Eddie, what is it, you can tell me!? I won't laugh._

_You will laugh. And don't freaking call me Eddie._

_I won't laugh, why would I laugh?_

_You'll think I'm pathetic._

_No, I won't._

OK, so now I _really_ was intrigued. This conversation was way more interesting than I had anticipated, and the mysterious surprise was forgotten. For now, anyway.

_Promise you won't laugh?_

I looked at him, and he was all defensive and moody and gorgeous, and I nodded. He took the paper off me again, and scribbled on it furiously. I waited, my heart hyper with excitement.

_Well... I put all the notes that we passed to each other during this class in it... I dunno why... I just wanted to keep anything that reminded me of you. And plus, that pencil case was just too atrocious to bring to school every day, I had to intervene._

I smiled at the words, my heart swelling. The bell rang, and I barely noticed it.

"You said you wouldn't laugh," Edward's velvety voice reprimanded me. Around us, the class were packing up and chatting noisily, and I brought myself back down to earth.

"I'm not laughing," I protested, jumping out of my seat and throwing my arms around him. "I just think you're adorable."

"Yeah, well," he muttered, turning a little pink. Then he smirked. "So, do you want your surprise?"

"Can I have it now?"

"If you want."

"Yeah, sure, what is it?" I demanded, excitement returning.

Edward reached into his school bag.

"I got you a new pencil case," he announced, grinning. "A way better one."

It was a Linkin Park one. An official one, the kind you had to order off of the internet. My throat got all thick.

"Oh wow," I said, examining it. "I've always wanted one of these."

"See now, aren't I great?" Edward half-joked. I looked into his face, and he was smiling that breathtaking crooked smile at me. I stared at him, forgetting that I was meant to be in some other class. He was too perfect for words.

"Thanks," I said.

"No problem," he smiled.

"Hurry up, you two, I haven't got all day," Mr Banner barked suddenly. We both jumped and hastily collected our stuff, not wanting to be left completely alone in the same room as our teacher, who had to have noticed the fact we were both less than attentive in his class. Out in the corridor, Edward took my hand, and we strolled unconcernedly to wherever we were supposed to be next. Edward left me at the door of my classroom, and kissed me on the cheek, telling me he'd see me at lunch time.

"Sure thing," I said. "Try not to miss me too much."

"I won't," he teased, grinning. I pouted, before thinking of a way to get back at him.

"You know, Edward, I think you might have overdone it on the eyeliner today -"

"Oh, shut up."


End file.
